Frozen
by M. K. Paine
Summary: Julia is finally part of the world she always dreamed about, but at what cost? She did not want this kind of responsibility. She did not want to risk everything. She did not want to be frozen.
1. Prologue

_Author's Note: I started this story yesterday. I have a detailed plan for the entire story, which is a first for me. I have not given up on my other WIP, but I want to work on this one at the same time. Give the story a chance before judging it please. I also like reviews, so if you find my story interesting or entertaining or anything else, please pass along a review. _

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Julia Sellick. **

* * *

**Frozen**

**Prologue**

"Who was the first person to develop the color wheel?" asked the decathlon coach.

"Sir Issac Newton," Julia Sellick replied immediately, without looking up from her reading. None of the surrounding decathletes seemed surprised that she answered first.

Julia was disturbed from her reading by the vibrating of her cell phone in her pocket. She opened it. It was the alarm. She had to leave for her college class. She closed her binder and stuck it in the cupboard in the back of the room, grabbed her bag, and left the room.

"Hey, Jane," came a voice behind her.

Julia turned. It was Sam. He was hurrying towards her. "Hasn't that nickname worn off yet?" Julia asked.

"Not at all, Miss Austen," Sam teased. "Here," he said, holding out a book. "You forgot this."

Julia took the book. "Thanks. I probably needed this for class. I'll see you tomorrow, Sam," Julia said with a wave.

The regional decathlon competition was only a few days away, and Julia was starting to feel the pressure. Only if she were under extreme pressure would she consider skipping her college class to study. Unfortunately, they were starting a new group project in the class and she couldn't miss it.

Julia opened her locker, grabbed her heavy winter coat, and slipped it on. She wrapped her scarf loosely around her neck, slipped her gloves on her hands, and lifted her hood up and over her head. She zipped up her coat, grabbed her bag, and closed the door softly.

The high school was practically deserted. The only people left in the building besides the janitors were the regional academic decathlon team. She and eight others were preparing for the competition. Since it was her senior year, Julia wanted to do well at the competition.

The wintry, bitter air bit at her exposed face when she walked out of the high school. She tucked her hands deeply inside her pockets and ducked her head down to keep the cold out. She made it to the sidewalk that lead to the university without slipping. She only took a couple steps onto the sidewalk, she slipped, but was able to keep her footing. The path to the university was slick and Julia nearly fell five times. Most of the path had been cleared by the school, but at the end was a slope that still had nearly two feet of snow. Julia made her way cautiously down the slope. The snow was hard and held her weight, so she didn't fall knee deep into the snow with every step. Unfortunately, the surface of the snow was icy.

Julia made it to the edge of the road without falling, but there was a line of traffic coming that she wanted to beat. Without thinking about the ice, she took a step forward. Her foot slipped and she went flying across the road. It only took Julia a second to scramble to her feet, but there was the unmistakable sounds of a horn and the squealing of tires. Julia spun around.

For a second she was blinded by headlights, and then she was flying through the air. She landed on the snow with a muffled thud. For a moment, she stared at the star-littered sky and experienced a sickening pain in every inch of her body, and then, her vision went white and remembered nothing.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you for reading. I really hoped you liked it. The first chapter should be up soon. Most of it is already written. Also, please review. I love them. They make me happy, and when I'm happy, I update quicker. Again, thank you for reading. _


	2. Hogwarts

_Author's Note: I'm incredibly impressed. I already have two reviews and I just published a couple hours ago. I thank you. Now, the story begins. Please, review. I love constructive criticism. Thanks again to all who reviewed._

* * *

**Frozen**

**Chapter 1: Hogwarts**

When Julia started to regain consciousness, it felt like she was floating in a pool of water. Nothing felt real. It was like she was floating slowly downwards. Then, she landed. It wasn't as if she landed hard on the ground. It was more like she was just there, wherever she was. Wherever she was, it was cold. Her cheek was resting on something cold. She was uncomfortably aware of the bulkiness of her coat. She was lying on her stomach and there was stabbing pain all across her abdomen and in her left leg.

She forced her eyes open. She was lying on a flagstone floor, and her head was facing a stone wall. Trying to sit up nearly made her cry out in pain, but she bit her lip to keep herself from doing so. She had no idea where she was or who was around.

Julia clutched her stomach as she stood up and looked around. She was at the top of a spiral staircase. To her right was a simple wooden door. She stumbled to the door and knocked. The door opened apparently of its own volition because when Julia walked through it, the only person in the room sat behind a desk well over ten feet from the door. The man behind the desk was vaguely familiar yet completely foreign. She knew she had never met or seen him, but something about him stirred something inside her. It was a mix of recognition and sadness.

He was an elderly man. His long hair and beard were white and had a wrinkled, wise face. He wore a pair of half-moon glasses that hid a pair of twinkling blue eyes, an incredibly familiar pair of blue eyes.

Like the man, the room was entirely alien yet familiar. It was a high-ceilinged room, and the walls were covered with portraits. Cabinets lined the walls and were filled with strange contraptions.

The man was obviously shocked by her appearance, but was also concerned. He stood up and motioned to a chair in front of his desk.

"Come and sit, child," he said kindly.

Julia did so without question. She was in too much pain and shock to object. Pain screamed in her leg with every step and in her abdomen as she sat.

"Who are you, child?" the man asked.

"Julia…Julia Sellick," she said numbly.

"Do you know where you are Miss Sellick?"

Julia shook her head.

"Could you tell me what you remember?"

Julia thought. Her memories were hazy. "Lights. I remember lights. And screeching, like tires on the road. Then, being launched into the air and landing in something cold. And then a white light and then, nothing." The last few minutes of her life became clearer. "I remember," she gasped softly. "I was walking to the college. The path was icy and I slid onto the road. A car hit me." She stopped talking. Her eyes welled up with tears. "I died. I must have died. Otherwise, I'd be at home, not God knows where! Where am I?" she asked the man desperately.

"Calm yourself, child. You are safe here. You are in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Julia's hysterics stopped. "I'm where?" she gasped.

"Hogwarts, my dear," said the old man. "I apologize. I am…"

"Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts," Julia finished for him in a breathless, unbelieving voice.

"Yes, my dear," Dumbledore said smiling, his eyes twinkling.

"Am I really here?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"This may seem like an absurd question, but what year is it?" Julia asked tentatively, afraid of the answer.

"1977," Dumbledore responded looking at Julia curiously.

"No," she whispered in horror. "No! I can't be here! Please, sir, send me back!" she begged Dumbledore.

"Where would I be sending you back to?" Dumbledore asked calmly. He surprised Julia by actually believing her. It took her a moment to respond.

"America. My home. My year."

"And what year is that?"

"2007," she cried. "I can't be here, sir. The books," she whispered. "The future."

"Miss Sellick, please calm down, and explain what you mean by "the books" and "the future"."

Julia took a deep breath. If there was anyone she could trust, it would be this man. "I know what will happen in the future of this world. In 2007, there is a series of books about the life of Harry Potter. You don't know who he is, but you will. I know who will die, who will live, the events of the future, everything. Why am I here? I don't understand," she said sadly.

"Neither do I, Miss Sellick. My best explanation is when you were killed, you were sent back in time. Why you were sent to this time and this place, however, I cannot say."

"I can't stay here, sir. I don't have magic. I know too much."

"You must have some form of magic to be capable of seeing this castle. How old are you, Miss Sellick?"

"Seventeen, sir."

"You are of age which is a good thing. You have two options. You are welcome to stay here in the castle and take lessons to learn to control whatever magic you do have, or you can leave and live somewhere else."

Julia stared at him. Leave or stay? How many times had she wished this place was real? That she could escape the monotony and drudge of her life? Now, her dream was coming true, but not in the way she hoped. She didn't want to be here while Voldemort was alive. She knew what would happen to him and all those would die. She would probably know some of them. There was only one that she couldn't handle knowing, but it didn't seem likely that she would befriend him. Besides, where else could she go? She wasn't going to be born for another thirteen years. Her parents were still in high school themselves.

"I'll stay here," she said softly. "I don't see any other way."

"That's probably best, Miss Sellick. We can sort out the details at a later date. For now, let us sort you into your house. They are…"

"Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin," Julia said with a sigh. Dumbledore smiled. "I'm going to have to watch myself," Julia said smiling wanly.

Dumbledore didn't respond. He stood up, walked to a shelf, and pulled down an old, ragged hat. He walked over to her and set the hat on her head. Julia felt the hat come alive and there was a hint of a presence of something in her mind.

"You have a tough destiny, child," came the hat's wheezy voice. "Your path is a hard one to walk. There is little I can do to ease the way. The only thing I can do is sort you to the house that will show you the path. Slytherin!" the hat cried.

Dumbledore took the hat from her head. Julia sat in shock. Slytherin? How could she be in Slytherin? She was a Ravenclaw. She had all the traits of a Ravenclaw. Why Slytherin?

"I will arrange for a room to be prepared for you. There is only one detail that must be dealt with today. Your story; we cannot have you telling everyone who you really are."

"Obviously," Julia said dryly. "I could simply tell them I'm half-blood. My mum was a witch and my dad was a Muggle-born wizard. They were killed when I was an infant. Before the wizard authorities could place me in a magical orphanage, I was taken and put in a Muggle one. I was adopted by Muggle Americans who were killed a few weeks ago. I didn't want to stay in America and transferred from the American magic school, whatever it is called, to Hogwarts."

Dumbledore looked impressed. "That is quite the story, Miss Sellick."

Julia shrugged. "I have always been good at making up stories. My friends call me…called me Jane Austen," she said, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"I'm sorry, Miss Sellick. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."

"I'm fine, sir," Julia said coolly, regaining composure.

Dumbledore didn't look convinced, but he didn't press the matter. "It will be a little while before your room will be ready, but until then, you are free to do what you want. Unfortunately, I cannot show you around. I have a meeting with a student any moment now."

"That is alright, Professor. I can find my way around. I knew the books by heart at home." Her throat clenched. "I appreciate all you have done, sir."

"It was my pleasure. I just wish that I could have sent you home."

"It's not your fault, Professor. Thank you." Julia stood and walked towards the door. Before she made it, there was a knock on the door. The door swing open like it had with her. A thin, tall man with shoulder-length black hair walked through the door. Julia froze mid-step as she looked at the young man.

Behind her, Dumbledore said, "Ah, Mr. Snape. I would like you to meet Hogwarts' newest student, Julia Sellick. She has just been sorted into Slytherin. Miss Sellick, may I introduce Severus Snape."

* * *

_Author's Note: I love cliffhangers. They make me update faster. Reviews also help me update faster, so here is my advice: REVIEW! :) _


	3. Severus and Lily

_Thanks to all who reviewed. I appreciate them. I liked writing this chapter. It has some interesting bits and pieces. Please, let me know what you think. Happy Reading!_

* * *

**Frozen**

**Chapter 2: Severus and Lily**

Julia stared into the familiar black eyes of her most favorite character of all literature. He stared coldly at her. The black eyes were like knives to Julia's heart. Her heart constricted and her throat clenched. Before she could completely break down, she rushed out of the office, nearly bumping into Severus. She ignored the pain in her leg and abdomen as she rushed down the spiral staircase and into the castle corridor.

The pain in her leg and stomach were nothing like that in her chest. It was making it hard for her to breath. It wasn't long before she couldn't walk. She slid down the wall and wrapped her arms around her knees. Tears leaked from her eyes, and she was soon reduced to quiet sobs. The black eyes haunted her mind. She kept imagining them being blank and empty.

It was too much. She should be dead. Why wasn't she dead? She would rather be dead than stand by and watch all the people die. As much as she wanted to, she didn't belong here, in this time and this place. Snape, Lily, James, Remus, Sirius, and all the others not yet born. They were all going to die and Julia could do nothing to stop it. She sobbed harder.

"Excuse me," came a soft voice suddenly. "Are you alright?"

Julia's sobs stopped and she looked up into a pair of bright green eyes that sat in a face outlined by brilliant auburn hair. Behind her stood four young men, all in Hogwarts robes with the Gryffindor crest. Julia's eyes welled up with tears again, but she wiped them away roughly.

"I'm fine," Julia said in a shaky voice. "Thanks."

"Okay," the woman said though she was obviously unconvinced. She reached out a hand. Julia took it, and the woman pulled Julia to her feet. "I'm Lily Evans, by the way."

Julia forced herself to smile. "I'm Julia Sellick."

"It's nice to meet you, Julia." A man with messy black hair and black, round glasses suddenly appeared by her side. "Who is your new friend, Lily?" he asked.

"Oh, James. This is Julia Sellick. Julia this is James Potter," Lily said, wrapping an arm around James's waist.

"Nice to meet you," Julia said softly, not looking him in the eye. James nodded.

"What year are you in? I've never seen you before," James said.

"Seventh. I just started. I went to an American school until a couple weeks ago," Julia replied numbly.

Another man appeared beside James. He was extremely handsome. "Hi," he said. "I'm Sirius Black." He held out a hand.

Julia took his hand. "I'm Julia. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you," Sirius said. "So, why did you choose to come to Hogwarts?"

"I didn't want to stay in America. My parents were killed in a car accident a few weeks ago. I don't have any close family, and since I'm of age, I took off on my own."

They all looked horrified. "Oh, I'm sorry, Julia," Lily cried.

"I didn't mean to pry," Sirius said.

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine. I've grieved and moved on, literally," Julia said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

The other two men had come forward, and Lily introduced them. "This is Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Remus, Peter this is Julia. She's new to the school."

They smiled and shook her hands. Julia had a hard time concealing her dislike of Pettigrew, but she managed. "What house are you in?" Remus asked.

Julia hesitated. "Slytherin," she said finally. "But I don't understand why. My parents were half-blood and when they were killed, I was adopted by Muggles. I'm not a Slytherin by any means, and I don't get why the hat sorted me there."

"I thought your parents died just a couple weeks ago," Sirius said bluntly. James elbowed him. "Sorry," Sirius mumbled.

"My Muggle parents did. My real parents died when I was an infant. Some magical experiment gone wrong or something. My Muggle parents were killed in a car accident a couple weeks ago. It's all rather confusing."

"Seeing as you seem to be a pretty nice girl, we won't hold it against you that you're Slytherin," said Sirius jokingly.

"Well, thank you," Julia said sarcastically. "I appreciate that."

They laughed. "We were just heading down to the Great Hall for dinner. Would you like to join us?" Lily asked.

"Sure," Julia said. They all headed off towards the Great Hall.

* * *

"I will consider your request, Severus. I have one last thing to ask you. Miss Sellick, the young woman you met just a little while ago, has had a difficult time of late. She has lost her parents twice."

"Twice, sir?" Severus asked, intrigued against his will.

"Her magical parents were killed when she was young, and her adoptive parents were killed in a car accident a few weeks ago. Anyhow, if you would try to help her transition, I would feel more at ease."

"Why me, sir?" Severus asked stiffly. "In case you haven't noticed, I am not the most social person."

"I understand that, Severus, but I got the distinct impression, that Miss Sellick is no more social than you. She would probably feel more comfortable around someone similar to herself. She is also a member of your house, so you have easy access to her."

Severus' eyes narrowed. "And, Slytherin's are not the most welcoming people. Fine, sir. I will try to help her out, but I cannot promise success."

"All I ask is that you try, Severus." Dumbledore smiled and his eyes twinkled.

Severus nodded, stood, and left the office.

* * *

Julia didn't stay in the Great Hall for long. There were too many eyes on her. Being someone new brought Julia unwanted attention. Her bulky winter coat also caught attention or at least, that was what Julia thought. She thanked Lily and her friends, and left, declining their offer to show her around. She could find her own way around, well enough. More eyes followed her as she walked out of the Great Hall. The pain in her stomach and leg were becoming unbearable. She needed to find somewhere deserted to check her injuries.

She had long since learned that the library was a safe place to go during a meal. She spent most of her lunches in the library at her high school. No one beside the librarian was around, and he didn't bother her. Rather, he hadn't bothered her. It didn't seem right to think of what should be the present in the past. It wasn't hard for Julia to find the library because its entrance was ornate.

She found a deserted spot in the library and removed her coat. She was expecting to find her shirt bloody and torn, but it wasn't. She made sure no one was around before lifting the hem of her shirt a couple inches. She gasped. Her entire abdomen was covered in a dark purple bruise. She didn't have to look at her leg to know that it was in similar shape. She couldn't take her horrified gaze off of her stomach.

"Merlin," came a shocked voice. Julia gasped, dropped her shirt, and looked up. Her heart flipped and constricted at the same time. Severus Snape was standing a few feet away, staring at her in surprise. "What happened to you?"

"The accident," Julia responded immediately. "My parents were killed in a car accident. I was in the backseat and avoided death. I did however injure my abdomen and leg."

"Why not heal it? It's a simple spell." Severus stared at her as if she was incompetent.

Julia glared at him. "Because my wand snapped in the accident," Julia snapped. "I haven't had access to the magical world since before the accident. I was in the hospital for a week in recovery. Then, I had to travel here the Muggle way."

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Would you like me to heal it for you?" he asked robotically.

Julia stared at him in shock. Severus Snape had offered to help her? Impossible. "Um…sure," she said uncertainly. Severus stepped so close to her she could feel the heat radiating from his body. He drew his wand and gave it a flick.

The effect was immediate. The dull ache in her abdomen and leg slowly dissipated. By the time Severus stepped away, the pain was totally gone. She stared into those infamous black eyes and became completely entranced by them. The coldness in those eyes was striking, piercing Julia in the heart. His fate, his destiny weighed heavily on her mind, and Julia would have given anything and everything to change it.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked, even though he clearly didn't care about the answer.

"Not really," Julia replied with a sardonic laugh. "But there isn't anything anyone can do to help. Your name is Severus right?" His name felt unusual on her lips.

Severus nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Well, thank you, Severus…for the healing, I mean." She held out her hand. Severus looked at it for a moment and then took it. It was like an electric shock shot up her arm the moment his skin touched hers.

Severus must have felt the same thing because his eyes narrowed and he scowled at their linked hands. He quickly released her hand and stalked away, resembling the menacing man who would one day stalk the corridors of Hogwarts. Julia smiled sadly. The pain in her chest was completely emotional now, but she was done crying. No good would come of her acting like a blubbering fool. She would have to learn to deal with the pain. All of the people she had met that day were going to die. There was nothing to be done about it.

"Miss Sellick," said Professor Dumbledore suddenly. Julia looked around and saw him standing nearby. "Your room is ready, and I have talked to Professor Slughorn. He agreed to have another seventh year accompany you to Diagon Alley on Saturday."

"Okay, Professor. What student is it?" Julia asked, wondering if it was another of the condemned.

"Severus Snape. He is Slytherin's head Prefect."

_Of course,_ Julia thought. "Wonderful, sir," she said sarcastically.

Dumbledore smiled. "I'll show you to your room, if you like."

Julia nodded and followed Dumbledore out of the library. "Have you me any of the student?" he asked as they walked.

"Yes, actually. I met James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily Po…Evans," she quickly corrected herself, glancing nervously at Dumbledore.

He appeared to not have noticed. "They're a good group of students," Dumbledore said genuinely. "I suppose you already know that, though," he said with a twinkle of his eye.

"Unfortunately," Julia mumbled. They walked the rest of the way in silence. It was hard for Julia to believe that she was walking with Albus Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard of the time and one of the wisest characters in literature. It was mind-boggling. He was so…normal. Julia had to smile at herself. All the people she had met today were people of legend. She had a feeling she was still in shock, and the nerves would take over anytime soon.

They stopped in front of a plain door in the dungeons. "You can choose your password, and change it as often as needed. The door will recognize your voice only. Welcome to Hogwarts, Miss Sellick."

Julia forced herself to smile. "Thank you, sir." He walked away. She turned to the door and whispered, "Jane Austen." She opened the door and walked into her new home.

The room was plain but large. On the wall to her left was a four-poster bed with green and gray coverings. There was a nightstand next to the bed with a candle and alarm clock. On the other side of the bed was a wardrobe. Directly opposite of the bed was a fireplace and a large emerald green overstuffed armchair. On the wall across from her were a bookshelf and a desk. Next to the desk was another door, which Julia guessed led to the bathroom. The walls and floor were the same stone as the dungeons. The room was lit by flickering candles that were hanging on the wall and the large roaring fire. The heat from the fire warmed the room perfectly. Julia walked to the chair and sat down, staring into the fire. The shock still hadn't worn off, and she was enjoying her ignorant bliss. Her eyes and mind were blank as she stared into the flickering flames.

After a while, Julia shifted her position and gasped. There was a shooting pain in her stomach. Julia launched herself to her feet, and her leg throbbed with the same pain. She lifted up her shirt and stared at her stomach. Horror washed over her face. The bruise was back. She let her shirt fall back into place and rushed out of her room. She ignored the pain in her body and half-ran to the entrance to Dumbledore's office. The gargoyle stared at her expectantly.

"Please, let me up. It's an emergency," she pleaded. The panic was evident in her voice.

The gargoyle observed her for a moment and then, jumped aside. Julia ran up the spiral stairs and knocked on the door. It swung open and she hurried in. Dumbledore was standing at one of the cabinets. He turned and looked at her in shock.

"The bruises are back," she gasped without preamble.

"What bruises, Miss Sellick?" he asked calmly.

"When the car hit me, it left bruises on my abdomen and leg. Severus healed them, but they're back." She looked terrified.

"I was afraid of this, Miss Sellick. Please, child, sit down. I'll explain." He went to his desk and sat down. Julia sat, too, and stared at him.

"It is a common symptom of time travel for a person to "freeze" so to speak. By "freeze", I mean they're aging process stops."

"When will I start aging again?" Julia asked brokenly.

"My best estimate is the day that you "died"." Dumbledore looked at her with pity.

Julia's mouth dropped and her stomach churned. "I'm going to be seventeen for thirty years?" she gasped.

"It seems so. I'm sorry, Miss Sellick." For the first time, the twinkle had disappeared from his eyes.

Julia nodded numbly. "Thanks, Professor," she said through barely moving lips. She stood up slowly and walked out of the office.

She walked numbly through the castle, luckily not meeting anyone. She made it into her room before the shock wore off. She stumbled to the bed, and fell onto it. She pulled her knees up to her chest and turned her face into the pillow. Her sobs were muffled by the fabric. The pain in her stomach and legs only made her sob harder. She let herself sob herself nearly to sleep. When the tears stopped, she lifted her face away from the pillow. She yanked her jeans off and crawled under the covers. She wrapped them tightly around her, and let herself fall into a deep, dreamless slumber.

* * *

_Thanks for reading. Please review. _


	4. Diagon Alley

_Author's Note: Sorry for the wait. I had to finish Afterlife. With it finished, I can devote all my time to Frozen. _

* * *

**Frozen**

**Chapter 3: Diagon Alley**

When Julia woke up the next morning, the previous day seemed like a dream. Unfortunately, the throbbing pain in her abdomen and leg were clear signs that it hadn't been. She clenched her jaw as she rolled out of her bed. She made a mental note to learn the healing spell that Severus had used on her. She would need it for the next thirty years.

Julia pushed the knowledge of her frozen adolescence out of her mind, and walked around her new room. She went to the wardrobe first. She was glad to find clean clothing in it. She always felt coated in grime when she went for more than a day without a shower. Besides, a shower would clear her mind, and it did.

When she came out of the bathroom, Julia felt renewed. The clothes in the wardrobe were plain but they fit her well. She didn't much care about what she wore. She was more interested in exploring the castle. She had noticed the previous day that it was extremely different from what was portrayed in the films. She was eager to take a closer look at it.

The cool, damp air of the castle dungeons hit Julia when she stepped out of her room, and reminded her of her basement at home. No matter how much she loved this place, it just didn't feel right for her to be there. Despite how boring and monotonous her life had been, Julia wanted to go home. She actually missed her few friends and the safe and secure future she was headed towards.

She forced herself to stop her wistful thinking of the past…or future? It was easier and less painful to pay attention to the castle around her. She explored the upper levels of the castle first. At first, it was disconcerting to have portraits watching her, and sometimes speaking to her, but after a while, she grew used to it. It seemed that her story had made its way around the castle since some of the portraits gave their condolences about her parents.

Julia became more at ease the more time she spent exploring the corridors of Hogwarts. Even though she had never stepped foot inside the castle, it felt almost like home. At the end of each class, the corridors filled with students who eyed Julia curiously. She avoided their gaze and moved quickly away from the crowds.

When lunch came around, Julia had resolved to spend it in the library. At least that was the plan until Sirius saw her walking up the grand staircase.

"Julia!" he called. Julia winced and plastered a fake smile on her face before turning around. Sirius was running up the steps to her. "Aren't you coming to lunch?" he asked.

Julia shook her head. "I wasn't planning on it," she said.

"Why not? Aren't you hungry?" Sirius asked bluntly. If there was one thing that Julia liked about Sirius, it was his boldness.

"Yeah, but I'm tired of people staring at me," Julia answered honestly.

"Who can blame them?" Sirius said pointedly with a wide grin. "Anyway, the more they see you, the sooner they will stop staring."

Julia glared at him for being so reasonable. She really didn't need someone reasonable right now. "Fine," she snapped. "Lead the way." Sirius laughed at the miserable expression on her face.

It wasn't that bad. People stared at her at first, but they eventually grew bored with her and went back to eating and chatting with their friends. She was facing the Slytherin table and she kept glancing at one person who she hoped would not see her with her present company. She knew that Snape would not take well to seeing her with the Marauders and Lily, and she was right.

When he stood up to leave, he glanced around the Great Hall. His eyes met Julia's for a moment before looking around to see who she was sitting with. His eyes darkened with fury and his lips thinned. Julia had the urge to jump up and explain what she was doing with his greatest nemeses. She didn't, though. As much as she wanted Snape to like her, she knew it was better if he didn't. If he became her friend, it would only lead to unbelievable pain on Julia's part, so she watched him storm out of the Great Hall with a saddened expression on her face.

"Julia, what's wrong?" asked Lily suddenly. Julia looked at her and tried to cover up the sadness. She hoped Lily hadn't seen whom Julia had been watching, but by the thoughtful expression on her face, Julia was sure she had.

Julia shook her head. "Nothing, Lily. I was just thinking." Lily watched Julia thoughtfully for the rest of lunch, and when they left the Great Hall, Lily pulled Julia off to the side.

"Listen, Julia. I saw you watching Severus Snape, and I have to warn you. He is bad news, Julia. He and his group of friends are all off to join the Dark Lord as soon as they graduate. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are already Death Eaters. I advise staying away from him, Julia. If you hang around him, he'll undoubtedly drag you down with him." Lily gazed at her with concern.

Julia looked shocked and horrified like she should. "Merlin's beard, Lily! I had no idea. He seemed like an okay person when I met him. Dumbledore said he was Slytherin's head Prefect."

"Yeah, well, he's trouble. Please, stay away from him, Julia."

"I'll try, but he's taking me to Diagon Alley tomorrow to get supplies. It was Dumbledore's choice so I don't think I can refuse."

Lily looked worried. "I can talk to him. I'm Head Girl, so if I offer, I'm sure he'll let me take you instead."

"Don't worry about it, Lily. You have plans with James tomorrow, don't you? You mentioned them during lunch, and I don't want you to cancel them for me. You warned me about Severus, so I'm sure I can take care of myself."

Lily still didn't look convinced. "I don't like the idea of you being alone with him, Julia. He's dangerous."

Julia smiled slyly. "So am I, when I want to be. Don't worry about me, Lily. I'll be fine." She left Lily before Lily could argue anymore.

Julia was shaken by her conversation with Lily. She was not afraid of Snape. She couldn't see him being a danger to her. What bothered her was Lily's violent assertion of his danger. She couldn't help but dislike Lily slightly. Snape loved her more than he did any other person, yet she viewed him as a dangerous threat. He would later devote most of his life to protecting her son and die loving her. Julia thought that Lily's attitude was a bit unfair.

Julia was too distracted to explore anymore. She just wanted to go back to her room. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see a stack of books on the desk and a small bag with a note attached by her pillow. She opened the note first. It was a list of the supplies she would need to buy the next day. The bag held the money she would need. She went to the books. They were basic spell book that would help her catch up to seventh year. On the top of the books was her schedule.

She was taking Defense Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures, and Charms. Dumbledore had obviously taken her lack of magical experience into consideration for which Julia was glad. There was no way she could take N.E.W.T. level courses. Maybe someday, but not now. She had thirty years to learn all the magic she wanted.

Julia spent rest of the day and most of the night looking through the spell books. She tried to retain as much as possible. Most of the spell work seemed fairly simple, and she looked forward to testing her magic.

The next day at noon there was a knock on her door. Julia's heart thumped wildly. She didn't understand why she was so nervous. Of course, her nerves might have something to do with spending an entire day alone with the person she had fallen in love with in the Harry Potter books. Yes, that might have something to do with it.

Of course, it was Severus when she opened the door, and he looked like he would rather be anywhere but at her door.

"Come on," he snapped. He walked off towards the Entrance Hall. Julia rolled her eyes and followed him silently. They walked outside and across the grounds. When they were outside the gates, Snape turned to Julia. "Since you do not have a wand, we are taking a Portkey. You'll have to come a bit closer," he snapped. He did not look pleased at the idea of her being so close.

Julia came forward to stand directly in front of him. He pulled out an old pocket watch and held it in his open hand. Julia put her hand on it, and there was a jerk in her stomach. She was flying uncontrollably through the air and then, she landed hard. She stumbled over and landed on top of a very disgruntled Severus. Their faces were inches apart, and for a moment, Julia fantasized about pressing her lips to his. However, her fantasy was cut short when Severus said, "Would you mind getting off of me?"

Julia pushed herself to her feet, brushing dirt off her clothes. Severus did the same. He scowled at her like he blamed her for him falling. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Let's get this done as quickly as possible," he growled at her.

"Fine," she snapped. "Lead the way." He did. They went to Flourish and Blott's first. Julia would have liked to spend hours exploring the shop, but Snape's impatience was painfully obvious. She was in line to buy her books when a magical journal caught her eye. The sign said that the journal would only open for the writer. It would also never run out of pages. Julia impulsively grabbed it; she had the sudden idea to write about her story.

Then, they went to Madam Malkin's for her robes. Severus waited outside as she was fitted. Madam Malkin said to come back in a half hour to pick up the robes. In the meantime, Julia and Severus went to Ollivander's.

Julia was beyond excited to get her wand. Severus, on the other hand, looked completely miserable. He sulked in a corner of the shop as they waited for Ollivander. When he appeared around the corner, Julia's excitement spiked.

"Who do we have here?" he asked. "I do not believe I have ever met you."

"No, sir," Julia said. "I'm from America, and I got my wand over there."

"Well, that would explain it then. How might I help you, then?"

"Well, my wand snapped in a car accident that killed my parents recently. I have not had the opportunity to buy another wand, so I obviously need a new one," Julia said with a sad smile.

"Oh, dear. I am sorry for your loss, but you have come to the right place for a new wand. Let me see," he said thoughtfully. "Perhaps…" he wandered towards a shelf and pulled out a box. "Maple with dragon heartstring. Good defense wand." He handed her the wand almost immediately snatched it away. "No, that will not do."

Ollivander proceeded to have her test at least fifteen different wands. None of them passed his test, apparently. Much of the excitement had worn off, and Julia was growing impatient. How long did it take to choose a wand? She was leaning on the counter when Ollivander came back with another wand. He had a curious expression on his face that made Julia unexplainably nervous.

"It seems the common cores are not compatible with you. Maybe an unusual core will be better for you," he said coming towards Julia. She sensed Severus stir from his sulking. She ignored him and stared at Ollivander. "Willow with a Sphinx mane hair. Thirteen inches."

Julia took the wand slowly. The moment she held the wand, she knew it was the one for her. It did not feel like just a piece of wood in her hand. It felt like her arm hand extended to include the thin piece of wood. Ollivander grinned and clapped his hands together.

Julia thought for a moment. "Mr. Ollivander, why is a Sphinx such an odd core?" asked Julia curiously. Severus walked closer, obviously interested in the answer himself.

Ollivander stared at her. "Sphinx are incredibly intelligent, clever creature. It often knows what the future holds. The most famous Seers of our world have had wands with Sphinx cores."

"But I am not a Seer," Julia said.

Ollivander seemed surprised by this. "Well, there have been cases where a Sphinx wand has chosen an Unseeing witch or wizard. Usually, that person had a tough path to walk where lives and destinies were theirs to shape."

Julia's stomach churned and the color drained from her face. "So…there have been cases when people change the future?" Julia asked in a robotic voice.

"I believe so," Ollivander said vaguely. "It is not my area of expertise."

Julia bought the wand and walked out of the shop feeling ill. Severus kept glancing at her and Julia knew he was curious about the wand. There was no way he missed her reaction to Ollivander's words. They picked up her robes, and before they left, Severus stopped her. He put a stiff hand on her arm. Julia looked up at him. He was a few inches taller than her. He was looking at her as coldly as before.

"Are you okay?" he asked stiffly.

Julia was stunned. She couldn't believe he was asking her if she was okay. He had given her the cold shoulder all day, and he now decided to care? It didn't make any sense. "I'm fine," she said slowly. "Ollivander just said some things that made me think," Julia said walking out of the shop.

Severus followed closely. Julia was glad he didn't say anything else. She didn't think she could handle speaking to him. Ollivander's words made Julia think of the future and what she could not prevent. When they reached the end of the street, Severus held out the watch and they were off. Julia was able to keep her balance when they landed. She and Severus went their own ways when they entered the castle. He went up the Grand Staircase and Julia went to drop off her things in her room.

When she was finished unpacking her purchases, Julia went to the library. Ollivander's words about destinies and futures made her want to know more. She hoped the library would have something about time travel that would help her. Her hopes were answered when the librarian pointed her towards an entire section devoted to time travel. Madam Pince did not question Julia about why she wanted to know about time travel for which Julia was grateful.

Most of the books in the section were about the dangers of time travel and the intricacies of time travel. Only one caught her eye. It was entitled _Living in the Past_. Julia pulled it off the shelf and sat down at a nearby table.

It was a short book, so Julia was able to read it cover to cover in one sitting. Even though it was short, it gave Julia plenty to think about. Most of the book was about those who got caught in the past and were able to avoid meeting themselves. But near the end, there was a short chapter about those who had changed the future.

_It is a dangerous matter to attempt to change what will be. The world has a balance that is upheld through life and death, and when someone changes that balance, it can create disaster…_

_There have been cases where a person who has knowingly altered the future has lost their magical ability. It seems fitting for a person's magic to be the cost for upsetting the balance of the world. _

Julia read the last paragraph twice to be sure she comprehended it correctly. She did. For the first time in two days, Julia felt hope. She knew she could not save everyone who was to die, but if she could save one, then she could live happily. The only question was whom was she going to save? There were so many innocent lives to be lost, and even though she wanted nothing more than to save Severus, there were so many lives equally important that she should save.

Then, there were those who needed to die to bring about the destruction of Voldemort. Lily and James, as much as she hated admitting it, had to die. The world needed a break from Voldemort's reign. Dumbledore, despite his great wisdom, had to die. His death served an important faux victory for Voldemort. But, so many did not need to die. Severus. Remus. Tonks. Fred. Moody. Sirius. None of them needed to die, especially Severus and Sirius. Neither had a chance to truly live before they were killed.

Julia ran a hand through her hair and stared at the book on the table without seeing it. It was between Sirius and Severus. Then it occurred to her. If she could save one, why couldn't she save both? If she could save Sirius without directly be his savior, then she should be able to keep her magic. If she could keep her magic and save Sirius, then she could save Severus. Her magic _was_ a fitting price to save the man who least deserved to die.

However, with so many chances of failure, Julia wondered if she should try to save only one. If she lost her magic when she saved Sirius, she would probably be unable to save Severus. Then, again, she could probably convince someone to save Severus if she couldn't save him herself.

Her head started to throb from her serious concentration. Despite the seriousness of what she was contemplating, Julia knew she didn't have to decide today. She had twenty years to figure it all out; twenty years to learn enough magic to save two men who did not deserve death.

* * *

_Author's Note: I hope you liked the chapter. I'll be updating soon, I hope. Please review. Thanks for reading. _


	5. Lessons

**Frozen**

**Chapter 4: Lessons**

Julia spent Sunday in her room, practicing magic. The first spell she performed accurately, _Wingardium Leviosa_, nearly made her topple over in shock. Sometime between Saturday evening and Sunday morning, Julia had somehow convinced herself that she was incapable of performing magic. When she had successfully cast the levitating charm, Julia was overwhelmed with shock and relief.

After her first spell, Julia tested more of her magic, and was amazed at how easily it came to her. Granted, the magic required some effort and concentration, but Julia was sure it would be complex and stressful work. When it wasn't, Julia found herself skipping ahead to more complex spells.

The first thing she skipped to was a healing spell. She knew that any healing she did would only be temporary, but she wanted the throbbing ache in her stomach and leg to go away. If the pain continued, it would distract her from her work, and if there was one thing Julia couldn't stand, it was letting something get in the way of her studies.

Despite the easiness of the spells, the massive use of magic was taking a toll on her. By lunch, she was exhausted. She fell back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. She stifled a yawn and stretched her stiff limbs. Her mind had been distracted all morning by her practicing, but the moment she relaxed, her struggle from the previous day sprung to the surface.

Even though she had spent hours thinking about the future, Julia had made no headway in deciding who to save. The only thing she was certain of was that it would be Severus, Sirius, or both. Julia was inclined selfishly towards Severus. Despite his cold-shoulder attitude, Julia was as violently in love with him as before. Honestly, she had expected nothing less from the infamous Severus Snape. Most people would consider him hopeless, but Julia considered him wonderful.

She could understand his bitterness. She knew what it was like to be an outsider. She had always been the shy, odd girl in elementary school. Most of her recess was spent under a tree or in a corner, writing, and she was mercilessly mocked for it. Even though her life had gotten infinitely better in junior and senior high school, Julia had found it difficult to forgive those who had treated her so cruelly. However, unlike Severus, Julia had not let her bitterness consume her life. In her opinion, dwelling on the past cruelties inflicted on her was letting her tormenters win. Julia had let go of the grudges she held against the bullying kids a long time ago. She wished that Severus could do the same, but it did not seem very likely.

Severus would suffer for the rest of his mangled life because he could not let go of the past. He never really got the opportunity to relinquish his grudge against his childhood tormenters. He would spend seventeen years protecting the son of his greatest nemesis and the love of his life. He would have to endure being thought of as a traitor and a murderer when, in reality, he was the most loyal man the Light had.

If Severus could survive the war, then maybe he could actually have a chance to live. He would no longer have any obligation to Dumbledore or Harry. He could live his own life how he pleased without being bound to anyone. He would be free, and that was the most convincing thought Julia had. She could not imagine what it would be like to be bound to two opposing men for most of his life. He answered either to Dumbledore or Voldemort and was at their command. The independent part of Julia screamed in fury at the thought of being at another person's beck and call. Yes, the best thing Julia could give Severus was freedom.

But there was another man who deserved freedom as much as Severus, and that's where Julia's uncertainty kicked in. Sirius, while having an infinitely better childhood, had been wrongfully imprisoned for twelve years, and then he had been robbed a family. He had been robbed of giving Harry a much-needed father figure, and that was the convincing factor to Sirius's side. Sirius was a great father-figure to Harry, and Julia could relate to Harry's need for a father-figure. Her own father was a disgrace, and Julia knew what it was like to need someone else to take his place.

Besides, Sirius, despite being an arrogant arse at times, was a good man. She had seen that in the books and she could see it now. He liked to have fun, and his biggest fault was that his fun occasionally came at the expense of others. She knew that he would grow out of that and become a great man who would be Harry's best friend. It pained Julia to think that she would deny Harry the opportunity to have happiness.

However, Julia was a selfish person and she felt that she had earned the right to be. No one had ever looked out for her. Her mother was a loser drunk. Her father was an amoral criminal. The only consistent thing in her life had been her studies and her writing. She relied on them for support, not her parents.

The selfish part of Julia told her to save Severus because if he died, it would mean excruciating pain for her. She was surprised to find that she felt guilty for wanting to be so selfish. Never before had a selfish decision made her feel guilty. She mostly blamed this on not caring about anyone before. If she cared, then maybe she would feel guilty. That must mean that she actually cared about Harry and Sirius.

In actuality, she did care about them. She had always cared about them, but they had always been characters in books. She could care about fictional character without getting hurt, but now…

A knock on her door made Julia bolt up. She had been so enthralled by her thoughts that the soft knocking actually made her jump. She hurried to the door and pulled it open, wondering whom it could possibly be. She was expecting it to be Lily or Sirius, but was shocked to see Severus standing in her doorway.

Her jaw dropped involuntarily. "What are you doing here?" she asked automatically. She immediately regretted asking because she sounded as if she was an unappreciative jerk, but she was so taken aback by his being there that she couldn't help it.

Severus's impassive face immediately turned cold. "I came to see if you wanted help catching up," he said stiffly.

"Oh," Julia replied simply. Her mind was trying to comprehend what he was saying but she was finding it difficult. She never expected Severus Snape to offer her help. "Sorry," she said quickly, finally recovering. "I just wasn't expecting you to offer help." She motioned for him to come in. He walked into the room, passing incredibly close to Julia. An involuntary shiver ran down her spine that he thankfully did not see.

Julia followed him into the room and sat cross-legged on the bed. Severus sat down in the armchair. He looked exceedingly uncomfortable which made Julia wonder why he was here if he didn't want to be. An impenetrable silence grew between them. Severus was not looking at her, but she was looking at him. It was the first time that she really looked at him and took in his appearance.

He was pale and sallow like he spent hours upon hours poring over books or cauldrons in the dank, dark dungeons. His eyes were truly black. She had expected them to be dark, dark brown, but they were the bottomless black depths the books had described. His hooked nose was painfully disproportional with his teenage face, but still had an endearing quality to it or at least, Julia thought it did. By no means was he traditionally attractive, especially as a teenager, but he was, in her opinion, perfect. Her eyes roved over face, trying to memorize every detail about it. When he turned his face to look at her, Julia's eyes flicked away nervously.

Even though she longed to look into his eyes and see if they were truly like endless tunnels, Julia avoided his gaze. She wasn't sure whether he was an accomplished Occlumens, and she couldn't risk him seeing something that could endanger the future. She was suddenly struck by the fact that she was completely defenseless against mental attacks. If anyone tried to break into her mind, they would find it was an open book.

"Severus," she said suddenly. His faced turned towards hers again. "Do you have any experience with Occlumency?"

Severus seemed shocked by her question, and it took him a moment to respond. "Some," he replied vaguely. "Why do you want to know?" he asked a hint of suspicion in his voice.

Julia's eyes flashed. She did not like him suspecting her of foul play, which he was undoubtedly doing, judging by the tone of his voice. "I would like to learn," she snapped. "No one I knew in America had any experience."

Severus sighed and ran a hand over his face. When his face was visible, there was a blank mask in place of the cold façade. "Fine," he said. "I can teach you the basics, at least."

Julia gave a silent sigh of relief and smiled genuinely at him. "Thank you, Severus," she said. Severus gazed at her for a moment. Then, he shook his head as though he were dazed and turned his face away again. He stood suddenly.

"Remove the memories you do not wish me to see," he said as he strode to the door.

"Alright. When will we have our first lesson?" she asked, an ironic smile spreading across her face. It was almost like she was the student and he the professor. She stifled a sardonic laugh as Severus turned to look at her from the door.

"Monday, after classes. I'll come here at seven."

Julia nodded and he left. The smile that still played on her lips slowly slid away. The thoughts she had been thinking before she was interrupted by Severus came back to her. She could care about fictional characters without getting hurt, but when they became actual people, the chance of being hurt increased exponentially. Even if he did survive, Julia found it highly unlikely that he could ever love her as she did him, which could only mean one thing – heartbreak. She was better off keeping her distance from him to save her heart, but she had no willpower to do it. Julia groaned in irritation and slumped back onto the pillows.

* * *

Julia woke up early on Monday morning, too nervous to sleep. It was like the first day of high school all over again. Her stomach was in knots and her heart was thumping wildly in her chest. She always hated the first day of school for this reason.

When she pulled on her Slytherin robes and saw the serpent crest, Julia felt the same confusion she had felt when she had been sorted into Slytherin. She could not understand why she was in Slytherin. First of all, she hated snakes with a passion. They scared the hell out of her. Secondly, she was not cunning or scheming. She sighed and straightened her robes. There was nothing she could do about her house, so she may as well accept that she was a Slytherin.

Before leaving her room, Julia checked her schedule. She only had Care of Magical Creatures and Charms that day. She was nervous and excited about Care of Magical Creatures; nervous because she did not always respond well to animals and excited because she had always been fascinated by mythological creatures. Charms unnerved Julia a little because she wasn't sure she could compete with her fellow seventh years considering she only had about one day of magical practice under her belt.

Julia shoved her nerves away and forced herself out into the castle. She skipped breakfast, knowing that being around so many unfamiliar people would only make her more nervous. Instead, she headed straight out onto the grounds towards the edge of the forest. She caught a glimpse of Hagrid working outside of his hut and smiled.

She looked around and spotted a tree that looked like a comfortable place to sit. She settled herself under the tree and waited for the beginning of her class. Her eyes scanned the grounds as she waited. She looked out across the lake, thinking of all the future events that would play out there. Harry's Patronus. The second task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. It made her sigh sadly.

When the time came for her to go over to the edge of the forest, Julia stood up and walked briskly over. She was the first to arrive except for Professor Kettleburn. He was a tall, muscular man in his late twenties or early thirties. His face was handsome enough but had been worn by years of working outdoors with magical creatures. He came over to her when he noticed her waiting.

"You must be Julia Sellick. Professor Dumbledore told me that I would be receiving a new student." He had a heavy Irish accent.

"Yes, sir," Julia said.

"What was the last animal you studied in America? You might be a little ahead or behind depending on the curriculum."

Julia thought for a moment. "Hippogriff," she said quickly.

Kettleburn brightened. "Perfect. Your class just began a lesson on Hippogriff's. You'll be ahead."

Julia smiled and thanked him. A few minutes later, a few other students arrived. There were three Hufflepuffs, one Ravenclaw, and one Gryffindor. She was the only Slytherin. The other students noticed her house and gave her odd looks. Julia gritted her teeth and looked away.

The lesson was easy, for the most part. Kettleburn did not introduce an actual Hippogriff to them, but rather lectured for a while about the creature. Julia already knew most of what he said from the books, and was grateful for it because she was right in thinking that she was behind in spell work.

Charms was not pleasant for Julia. It could have been worse. Flitwick could have embarrassed her in front of the entire class, but he didn't. Instead, Julia had to suffer through the humiliation of having Flitwick correct her multiple times about her pronunciation and the way she held her wand. By the end of the day, Julia's pride had been severely wounded.

She ate her dinner in silence, ignoring the looks she got from her fellow Slytherin's. She was too tired and distracted to care about what they thought. She ate quickly and went to her rooms to practice her Charms homework. It took nearly an hour for her to perform the charm perfectly, and when she did, her heart swelled with pride.

Julia had completely forgotten about her Occlumency lesson when someone knocked on her door at seven. She walked to the door, wondering who is could be. When she saw it was Severus, she blinked in surprise. It took her a few moments to remember the lesson. She motioned for Severus to come in. When she had closed the door and turned to face him, he was standing in the middle of her room with his wand withdrawn.

Julia swallowed hard and wondered what on earth she had gotten herself into.

_

* * *

_

_Author's Note: :) I hope I left you in some suspense. Maybe I'll get some reviews for updates. I know, I'm evil. Anyway, thanks for reading and please, review._


	6. Occlumency

**Frozen**

**Chapter 5 - Occlumency**

Severus stared at her expectantly. "Hold on," Julia said after a moment and went into the bathroom. She locked the door and conjured a small flask; conjuring had been one of the spells she had mastered. She shakily raised her wand to her temple and pulled away the memories of that dealt with the books and the future. Julia was horribly embarrassed when she realized how many memories she has about the man standing in the next room, especially the ones that were not wholly appropriate to teenagers.

When she had filled the flasked and stored it safely in her robes, she took a deep breath and tried to clear her mind. It was a hard task, considering her heart was pounding violently in her chest because of the very man who was teaching her to control her mind. When she felt that she had a reasonable amount of control, Julia unlocked the door and felt that control slip away.

Severus was leaning on the back of the chair with his arms crossed over his chest, looking moody and sulky. Julia's breath caught in her throat. Something about Severus had made her heart skip a beat, and chills run over her arms. She couldn't understand her reaction, but she knew that she liked it.

When Severus saw her, he pushed himself away from the chair and pulled out his wand. "Are you ready, now?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes," Julia snapped. Apparently, anger was her defense mechanism whenever she was around him. From the taut lines around Severus's mouth, Julia could tell it was going to be an interesting lesson.

"I'm going to assume that you know the very basic building blocks of Occlumency and Legilimency. Control your emotions…Discipline your mind…"

Julia nearly choked as a disbelieving laugh bubbled to the surface. "Control your emotions…Discipline your mind…" She had heard both pieces of knowledge before from the same man before her. It was hard to believe that he wouldn't change at all in nearly twenty years, and Julia was suddenly seized with an overwhelming feeling of pity for him. Pushing her feelings aside to be dealt with later, Julia nodded to Severus.

"Good. Now, wipe your mind of all thoughts and emotions…"

"You make that sound easy," Julia snapped.

"It is if you have control," Severus insinuated.

Julia grit her teeth and closed her eyes. She breathed deeply and slowly regained control of her emotions. When she opened her eyes, Severus raised his wand and said, "_Legilimens."_

Julia's vision swam and memories flashed through her mind. She was eight and her mother was shouting at her to leave her alone. She was curled in a ball on her bed, sobbing after one of her mother and father's fights. She was in elementary school, being shoved around by the other kids as they held her notebook out of her reach. Most of the memories that sped through her vision she didn't even remember. She could understand why she had repressed them seeing as not a single one was happy. Severus apparently was pinpointing on unhappy memories.

When the shock of all the memories had passed, Julia forced herself to concentrate and slowly, ever so slowly, Severus started to form in front of her. Her head throbbed as he tried to go around her wall, but he found no path in. When she was able to block out the memories completely and the only thing she saw was Severus, he lowered his wand. A smug, almost proud look flittered across his face, but it was gone as soon as Julia looked closer. Nevertheless, it had been there and Julia felt a swell of pride in her chest.

"Not bad," Severus said nonchalantly. He twirled his wand in his fingers, and looked incredibly bored even though a second ago he had appeared completely enthralled by her memories.

"Thanks," Julia said sarcastically. She rubbed her temple, trying to dispel the pain pulsing there. "I don't think I can take another attack today, Severus." Her mind paused at the sound of his name on her lips. No matter how many times she said it, his name still sent shivers down her spine.

Severus sighed. For a moment, it seemed his defenses had come down. "Nor should you. Considering this was your first foray into Occlumency, you did fairly well." It appeared to pain him greatly to pay her that ghost of a compliment.

"I'm going to take that as a good thing," Julia said, smiling at him. The slight compliment from Severus was the equivalent of high praise from anyone else. She would take what she could get.

Severus' lips twitched and for a second, it seemed like he was going to smile. However, he quickly smothered it and arranged the scowl back in place. "Keep clearing your mind. Make it a habit. Sooner or later, you will naturally clear it and Occluemency and Legilimency will become easier. I will return on Thursday to test you again." He left abruptly, leaving behind a thoughtful Julia.

He had seemed so much like his future self. He had a commanding presence and the arrogant nature he would have as a teacher. He also had that annoying thought that his orders should be followed. Granted, she was technically his student, but he was by no means her professor. Had he been twenty years her senior and she only a Hogwarts student, she wouldn't be feeling so put out. Part of her grumpiness might have something to do with being treated as a child. She was as capable and intelligent as Severus. He had no right to treat her as an incompetent. While he did have more experience with magic, they were the same age and of the same maturity. There was no need for him to be so harsh with her.

Then again, his harshness was part of his charm. He didn't pretend to be someone he wasn't to gain popularity, and Julia had to respect him for that. She often wished she had the courage to truly be herself without worrying about what others thought. It never happened. She was always on her guard. She never let anyone see the real Julia, and she hated admitting it, but she was lonely because of it. She saw in Severus the kind of person she could relate to and trust.

Julia yawned, exhausted from the long school day and the mental strain from the Occlumency lesson. It didn't help that her mind was running wild with so many crazy thoughts. She gazed tiredly at the books spread across her bed. 'I can do that later,' she thought to herself, and packed her things up. She changed quickly and crawled under the covers. She was asleep the second her head touched the pillow.

She was cold, freezing cold, which didn't make any sense since she was tucked safely in her bed at Hogwarts, but when she opened her eyes, she was not at Hogwarts. She was standing in the middle of a road, her bare feet freezing in the slush. It was no wonder she was so cold considering she was wearing a thin t-shirt and a ratty pair of sweatpants. Snow was falling heavily and making her shiver more. A loud horn sounded behind her, and she spun around. She was momentarily blinded by bright lights, and then, she was standing in a eerily familiar run-down room. A hiss and a shout made her look around, and a scream of undescribable terror built in her throat.

Severus. Severus was lying on the ground, blood gushing from his neck. His hands tried to staunch the flow, but it was a futile effort. Julia tried to move but found herself incapable of taking a step. She stood and watched as his eyes searched around the room and his hands grasped at his crimson neck. His eyes met hers, and he said, "Julia...why..." His eyes went blank and his hands fell away from his neck.

Her eyes snapped open. She was lying in bed, the blankets twisted around her. Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath, but the sobs racking her body were making it impossible. Then, she realized the reason she woke up was because someone was pounding on the door. She disentangled herself from the blankets and stumbled towards the door. She shakily pulled it open, and to her horror, was staring into the face of the very man she had been dreaming of.

"What is going on?" he snapped. "I heard you screaming."

"How did you hear me?" Julia asked, her voice quavering.

"My rooms are across the hall," he said roughly. He glanced at her face that Julia was sure was red and splotchy. "Is everything okay?" he asked in the same stiff tone that he did whenever he asked a question about her well-being.

"I'm fine," she said in a monotone. "It was just a nightmare. I've had the same one since my parents died," she said, deciding suddenly to play up her story a little more.

"Oh," Severus said, looking uncomfortable. "Since everything is okay, I'll go." He strode across the hall and closed his door with a snap.

Julia sighed and closed her door softly. "Perfect," she muttered to herself. She made a mental note to find a silencing charm that would protect her from similar instances in the future. She knew that the nightmare was going to be a common experience. There was no way around it, but she didn't want Severus having to constantly pound down her door because she was screaming.

Julia crawled under the covers and sighed into her pillow. Despite the exhaustion that was overcoming her, she could not fall back to sleep. Each time she closed her eyes, she saw Severus's bloody body. His pained and panicked eyes staring at her before they went blank. Julia shuddered, even though the heavy blankets kept her plenty warm. She rolled over and caught the dim outline of the magical journal she had bought in Diagon Alley. She had yet to write anything down about her adventure, but she wanted to. She wanted to remember every little detail she could about her "new" life.

Sitting up, Julia pulled the pillows behind her and grabbed the journal. Using her wand to conjure a pen, she opened the journal and set to writing all that had happened to her. The task took most of the night because she was desperate to get every detail written down. Writing had always come naturally to her, and had been a form of expression since she learned to do it. It was like the friend she never had and had always wanted. Writing never disappointed her, and always provided her with the love and confidence a friend would have given her.

By the time her alarm would have gone off, Julia had finished writing. She showered quickly and left her rooms for some breakfast. When she entered the Great Hall, she noticed Severus sitting by himself with a book under his nose. The sight made her smile slightly. She spent most of her meals in a similar style. When she took a seat beside him, he looked up in surprise. Seeing it was Julia, the shock slipped away, and his normal scowl appeared.

"You know, if you keep scowling, your face will freeze like that," Julia said lightly as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She glanced at Severus out of the corner of her eye as she took a sip.

He sneered. "Perhaps, but if you continue to be so sugary sweet, I may have to transfigure you into a piece of candy." A comment like that from anyone else would have sounded completely ludicrous, but coming from Severus, it sounded completely sincere.

Julia smirked. "And, then what would you do? Eat me?" Julia tried to keep a straight face, and failed miserably. Her body shook with silent laughter.

Severus' lips twitched like they had the previous day. "Not me. I'm not a fan of sweets, but I'm sure Crabbe wouldn't mind," he said, smirking and jabbing a finger towards a rather large teenage boy sitting down the table.

Julia grimaced. "Really funny, Severus," she said sarcastically.

Before Severus could reply, someone sat across the table from them. He had golden blond locks and hazel eyes. If he hadn't had a cruel look in his eyes, Julia may have thought him handsome, but she only shuddered as she looked at him.

"Whose your friend, Severus?" the boy drawled.

Severus sneered. "She's no friend, Avery. She's just some new student who Dumbledore asked me to show around." His lips curled as he glanced at Julia in disdain.

Avery glanced at Julia and back at Severus. "See it stays that way," Avery said quietly. His words apparently had been for Severus's ears only because he had leaned across the table, but Julia had pretty good hearing. She had accredited it to the countless times she had listened through walls to her parents argue. Even though she had hated to hear them, she wanted to know what they were arguing about.

When Avery walked away, she turned her gaze to Severus. "Well, thanks, Severus," she snapped, sarcasm lacing every word.

Severus glared at her. "You're better off for what I said. Had I said I was your friend, he would have started asking questions. Then, we would both be in a load of trouble. I used Dumbledore as an excuse because he'd believe it. As long as he thinks I'm associating with you because of Dumbeldore, you...we'll be safe."

Julia stared at him, momentarily taken aback. "Oh," she said softly. "In that case, I guess I should genuinely thank you." Her smile was marred by the worry she was feeling, both for herself and for Severus.

They ate in silence after that, and left the Great Hall at the same time. They went their separate ways in the Entrance Hall. Julia made her way up the Grand Staircase when someone called her same. She turned around to see Lily hurrying up the stairs towards her. When she came level with Julia, Lily gazed at Julia in concern.

"What's up, Lily?" Julia asked innocently, shifting her bag on her shoulder.

"We need to talk," Lily said sternly. "About Severus."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks to all those who reviewed, especially Lady Vyxen. All your advice has been much appreciated. I take all of it into consideration as I write. I look forward to hearing from you, and everyone else. Please review and thank you for reading. _


	7. Confrontation

**Frozen**

**Chapter 6 - Confrontation**

Julia stared at Lily. For a moment, what Lily said didn't register, but when it did, the dislike and anger flared inside of Julia. However, she kept a composed and calm face.

"What about him, Lily?" Julia kept her voice monotone even though she was boiling internally.

"I told you to stay away from him," she said imperiously. "He...is...dangerous." She paused between each word as if emphasizing each word.

Julia's eyes narrowed. "I know what you told me, Lily, but I chose not to listen. I judge people _after_ I know them, not by the word of others. Anyway, from what I've seen, he's okay. By no means is he the nicest person in the world, but he has been relatively decent to me."

"Julia," Lily said, shaking her head. "I know what I'm talking about. I used to be friends with him. We grew up in the same village and became friends before Hogwarts. I stayed friends with him even though he was a Slytherin and I a Gryffindor. It worked for a few years, but then he started hanging out with some really nasty people. To put it simply, he and I separated on a bad note. He clung to his Death Eater friends ever since. I can't say it enough, Julia. He is a dangerous person. His knowledge of the Dark Arts is frightening."

"Stop," Julia snapped. "I don't doubt any of this, Lily. I can see that Severus has some serious issues, but he has done nothing _to me_. Your experience with him may have been bad, but until my experience is similar, I will not just desert him. From what I have seen and what you have told me, Severus has gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to friendship. I understand that better than you realize. He has shown me some degree of civility since I came here, and I intend to return the favor."

Lily stared at me. "He doesn't deserve it, Julia," she said stiffly.

It clicked. "You're still bitter about his treatment of you, aren't you?" Julia asked increduously. "That's why you don't want me being nice to him. You want to punish him."

Lily's jaw dropped. "That has nothing to do with it," she said defensively, but Julia knew better.

"Yes, it does. Unless, you're jealous which I can't imagine. You're still bitter and you want to use me as a way to get back at him. It may be unconciously but it's what you are doing. I don't appreciate it, Lily." Julia's eyes finally reflected the dislike and coldness she was feeling. Lily looked taken aback by the look in Julia's eyes.

"I am not jealous," Lily snapped. "And I am not trying to get back at him." Her defiance just proved to Julia that her theory was correct. "I don't want him to hurt you which is exactly what he'll do if you keep hanging around him."

"Well, I can take care of myself," Julia said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fine," Lily snapped, looking livid. She turned on her heel and stormed away.

Julia turned the other way and made her way towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. After a few moments, Severus slid into walk beside her like a snake. One moment she was alone, the next he was walking beside her. Julia's heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach.

"Did you hear all of that?" Julia asked, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. She saw him nod stiffly and repressed a moan. "I'm sorry, Severus."

The cold expression on his face dropped away to be replaced by surprise. He raised his eyebrows. "What are you sorry about?"

"About what Lily said. It wasn't fair to you."

"It's true, though," he muttered.

"That may be, but I have seen no proof of that. Until I do, I'm going to believe what I want to about you."

Julia saw his jaw clench and she wondered what was making him upset. She didn't have to ask. "You are far too trusting," he snapped at her. "She was right. You shouldn't trust me."

"Who said anything about trusting you?" Julia teased. The corner of his lips twitched. "Seriously, Severus, you have been...well, maybe not nice, but you have been civil, which is more than I can say for others."

"I know," he said softly. She could tell he was remembering her memories that he had seen during their Occlumency lesson.

An awkward silence rose between them. Julia wanted to somehow comfort Severus after what Lily said, but could think of nothing that wouldn't make him feel more uncomfortable. She chose not to sit by him in DADA because she didn't want him to think she was an idiot because of her lack of knowledge. Besides, he sat amongst some nasty looking characters that Julia was sure didn't want her there. She ended up sitting next to Sirius Black who was more than happy to keep her mind occupied. Most of the class was note taking and book work since they were starting a new topic. Julia had no problems with book work. It was easy compared to the actual magic. Fortunately, they didn't have to actually start any magic. She made a mental note to practice some of the spells that night so she was prepared for the next class.

Apparently, Lily had not told Sirius about their conversation because he was really nice to her, too nice. She knew that Sirius was a flirt but she had no experience with flirting and it made her uncomfortable. Sirius, noting her discomfort, backed off, and simply resigned himself to being kind. The period ended, and Julia was going to her rooms when Sirius stopped her.

"There's a trip to Hogsmeade this weekend, and I wanted to know if you would like to get something to eat together," he said in a rushed voice.

Thinking back to her conversation with Lily, Julia thought it wouldn't be such a great idea. She was also sure by the time Saturday came around, Lily would have told the Marauders about Julia's friendship with Severus. Julia highly doubted that Sirius would want anything to do with her after that.

"I'd like to, Sirius, I really would, but I already have plans in Hogsmeade." Honestly, she hadn't known about the trip until a second ago when Sirius had told her about it.

Sirius looked crestfallen. "Oh, okay," he said. He looked seriously disappointed, which only made Julia feel worse about lying to him. "I'll see you later, Julia," he said before shuffling away.

Julia ran a hand over her face. When she passed over her eyes and could see again, Severus was standing in front of her. Julia started and clutched her chest. "Damn it, Severus. You're like a pop-up book from Hades," she said starting to walk in the opposite direction of Sirius. It was a longer path to the Great Hall, but they ran no risk of running into Sirius.

"Thank you," Severus said sarcastically.

"Well, you are," Julia snapped. "You just show up out of nowhere. It's unnerving. Did you hear all that, too?" she asked even though she knew he had.

"Of course. You have quite a few Gryffindor friends," Severus said scathingly.

"Fewer after today," Julia muttered.

Severus didn't respond to that. Instead, he said, "Who do you have plans with on Saturday?"

Julia smiled guiltily. "No one. You want to remedy that problem?"

Severus stopped walking. Julia stopped and turned to face him. He was looking at her in shock. "What?"

Julia shrugged. "Just a thought. I don't actually have plans, and I doubt my homework will consume the entire day"

It appeared that Severus didn't know what to think. He gaped at her for a few moments, but then pulled himself together like any Occlumens would. Julia internally smiled at the idea that she could shock Severus so badly that he would lose composure.

"I don't need your pity, Julia," he said tensely.

"I'm not pitying you, Severus," Julia said increduously. "Is it so hard to believe I actually want to hang out with you?"

"Yes. After what Lily said, I expected you to avoid me like I had Dragon Pox." Again, his defenses seemed to have come down after he had talked to her for a while, and again, Julia had to smile inwardly.

"Didn't you hear me before, or were you too furious to pay attention. I don't care what she, or anyone else for that matter, says about you. I wil not judge you by the words of others. I'll judge after I see what you're like for myself."

"Why?" Severus asked curiously.

"Because I know what it's like to be judged by others before they knew me. I will not do that to someone else. I give people the benefit of the doubt, always have, always will. So, what do you say?"

Severus looked thoughtful for a moment, and Julia wished she could hear what he was thinking. What he thought about her actually mattered to her. She wanted him to like her, but his neutral attitude made it impossible to tell if he liked her or not. "Alright, but we'll have to be careful."

Julia grinned, but nodded. "Sure. I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall at noon." She walked away before he could change he could change his mind.

* * *

**Severus's POV**

Severus watched Julia walk away he stared, he could not figure out why he had agreed to go to Hogsmeade with her. He had already decided that he did not enjoy her company, and the only reason he spent time around her was because of Dumbledore's request. Even though he did not like her, for he had assured himself of that, he was fascinated by her. Nothing about her seemed to fit.

She had experienced pain and rejection akin to his own, but was nothing like him. She had no bitterness or need for vengeance as he did. She apparently held no grudges, for her memories had shown him that she befriended some of her tormentors. However, he had felt no real affection for them in her memories. He could see that she dealt with them because it was the _nice _- he mentally sneered the word - thing to do. He could not fathom how someone so tormented could be kind, yet she was. Part of him wanted to figure out the puzzle that was Julia, but another told him to close her out like he did everyone else. The latter part was just instinct for him; hurt others before they hurt you, like they inevitably would. The former part was new for him. Lily's kindness had always been easy to figure out, but Julia's was puzzling.

He wanted to solve the puzzle. When he had, he was sure he would cast her away as he should have done the moment he met her. A pit of guilt erupted in his chest at this thought, which caught him by surprise. He had for years used people for his own means; it was what Slytherins did. Now, at the idea of doing the same thing to Julia, he felt guilty for wanting to use her. He had never felt guilty, with the exception of Lily, for hurting anyone. Why should he when no one had felt badly about hurting him? Julia had not hurt him, though. In fact, she was kinder to him than anyone he had ever known. Granted, her cheefulness got on his nerves quite a bit, but besides that, she was rather interesting. She mixed sarcasm with humor and joy perfectly. He often found himself wondering wanting to smile at something she said, which was something he simply **did not** do.

He waited a few moments after Julia had disappeared before following her towards the Great Hall. He did not want her to think that he was following her. Her comment about "a pop-up book from Hades" was still fresh in his mind. Unknowingly, a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth as he thought about her comment.

* * *

_Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wrote it while I was supposed to be writing a history paper, but oh well. Thanks to all who have reviewed. Keep up the awesome work. Again, please review, and thank you for reading. _


	8. Hogsmeade

**Frozen**

**Chapter 7 - Hogsmeade**

Saturday arrived quicker than Julia had expected. Her Occlumency lesson on Thursday went fairly well. Severus had attacked her mind three times before Julia asked to stop. Well, actually she had blacked out from the constant mental strain, and then she had asked to stop. Severus had reprimanded her for not telling him she was growing weary, which made Julia smile. She had noticed his concerned gaze when she came to, and was certain that she was growing on him.

Julia was staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, grimacing slightly. As usual, she didn't like what she saw. Her pale skin was not like porcelain, and looked sickly more often than not. Her upper lip protruded over her lower lip. Her round, sapphire blue eyes were too large for her face. Her nose curved upwards, and her jaw was soft. There was no definition to it. She used her layered, wavy, caramel hair to cover it up. Her hair was her security blanket, and she felt so much safer when it was around her face.

She looked at her watch. It was still a little while before noon, yet her heart was pounding violently in her chest. She longed to have her music player to calm her down. It sat uselessly in her coat pocket. She had tried using it a few days before, but to no avail. It made her sad, but she knew it was probably a good thing. Firstly, because MP3 players wouldn't be invented for a couple decades. It would be hard to explain what it was should anyone ask. Secondly, the music was from a different life, a life that she no longer belonged to. She had to move on. Nevertheless, she often found herself humming the melodies of her favorite songs to calm herself. She only ever did this when she was alone thankfully.

Julia had gotten into a pattern. She would spend most of her evenings practicing magic, and when she grew bored with that, she moved onto writing in her journal. She wished she had all of her art supplies. At home, she spent most of her time painting or drawing or writing, and she had boxes full of her work and supplies. While she was good with school, great actually, she had no passion for it. It was creative stuff that she loved. It was harder for her, but she liked a challenge. Music, art, writing, etc. were where she was happy.

Rather than sitting around, Julia stepped out into the corridors of the castle. She had yet to explore the dungeons. Partly because she was nervous to explore the vast space, and partly because she just hadn't thought about it. As she walked through the winding corridors, she was starting to realize it was probably a good thing she hadn't explored them. After a little while, she had no idea where she was. All the walls and doors looked exactly alike. When she thought she was heading the right way, she would come to a dead end. She was sure she was going deeper into the dungeons, rather than heading out of them considering the chilly air that surrounded her.

She was about to turn back when she heard voices ahead of her. They sounded angry, and that anger almost made her turn back. However, the curiosity got the better of her and she followed the voices. The closer she came the angrier the voices sounded. She turned down a hallway and saw three figures at the end. Quickly, she stepped back and hid around the corner. She peeked around the corner and took in the scene.

James and Sirius had Severus backed up against the wall. Had she been in the same position, she would have looked terrified, but Severus merely looked livid. She was sure he could take both Sirius and James had he wanted to. Julia wondered what was holding him back. When James spoke, she understood.

"She just pities you," James said cruelly. It was the first time that Julia heard James speak with any negative emotion. She couldn't see his face, but she knew that it would be contorted into an ugly mask. "Why would she actually _like_ someone like you?" James sneered.

Severus' lipscurled. "You're letting your arrogance blind you, Potter. I don't care about Sellick."

"Oh, but you do," Sirius said haughtily. "Lily pointed it out. I watched you around her, and you like her. That's why we're here. If you didn't like her, we'd leave it go. You don't deserve her, Snape. You're an evil, Death Eater wanna be. Stay away from her, or else."

"You know, Black, your threats are starting to get old. It's the same thing every time. 'Do this or else.' What happened? Did your comeback book get too hard for you to read?" Severus sneered.

Sirius raised his wand. "Why, you..."

"Don't Sirius," James warned. "There's no telling what kind of Dark Magic he is capable of." James looked back at Severus. "Just stay away from Julia. You're not good enough for her, _Snivellus_."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" Julia said, stepping out from around the corner. She hadn't thought about stepping in. She just did it.

James and Sirius spun around. Julia was pleased to see that they both looked abashed. However, Julia's eyes were drawn to Severus. His eyes met hers, but it wasn't like in Occlumency lessons. Behind the anger and disgust, she saw pain, the kind of pain she had often felt when being tormented by her classmates. Hatred towards Sirius and James pulsed through her.

"Julia, we..." Sirius started.

"I don't want to hear it, Sirius. You have no right to decide what is good or bad for me. You don't know anything about me. A few conversations with me does not mean that you know me, but I'll give you a little insight. You and James were exactly the kind of people I hated in school. I was tormented just like you are tormenting Severus. I was the outcast just like him, so if you want to pick on him, then you have to pick on me too."

"You're nothing like him, Julia," James said.

"The hell I'm not. I'm just like him. I may not be interested in the Dark Arts, but I do have dark tendencies that would probably make your skin crawl."

"You're exaggerating," Sirius said, waving her comment off.

"No, I'm not. Besides, what gives you the right to pick on him in particular? You don't even know him."

"We know him better than you think, Julia," James said. "Lily already told you. He is dangerous. Why won't you believe us?"

"Because I have seen no evidence to suggest that he is dangerous." Her eyes flicked from Severus to James and Sirius. He had made no movement. His eyes still were locked on Julia with that same pained glare. "Severus has been nothing but civil towards me, and until he treats me differently, I'm not going to ditch him. I know what it's like to be ditched because of what others say, and I will not do that to him. If you have a problem with that, then we don't have to be friends."

Sirius and James looked shocked, as did Severus. He obviously wasn't expecting her to stand up for him or defend him so fiercely. She could also see that his pride was starting to get to him. She inwardly sighed, knowing that she would have to deal with him and his pride later.

"Fine, Julia," Sirius said in a steely voice. "But don't say we didn't warn you."

"I've been warned," she said sarcastically. Both men hurried off without another look back at Julia or Severus. Julia walked forward. "We're going to be the last ones to Hogsmeade if we don't hurry," she said kindly.

Severus didn't move. Julia hadn't expected him too. "That is the second time you have defended me," he snapped. "Why?"

Julia sighed. "I identify with you, Severus. I've experienced what you have, but I never had anyone to stand up for me. I fervently wished I did. You would probably throw yourself off a cliff before admitting that you want someone to stand up for you too because of your pride, and I respect that. I never asked anyone to stand up for me either, but if I see someone being bullied like I was, I _cannot_ stand by and let it happen. Sorry if it wounds your pride, but I'm not going to let bullying continue if I can stop it," Julia's voice rose passionately. By the end, her cheeks were bright with exertion, and with a slight blush when she realized that she had started ranting. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Let's go," Severus said suddenly. Julia looked shocked, but complied. They walked through the dungeons in silence for a few moments. Then, Severus spoke. "I can't figure you out," he said suddenly.

Julia looked over at him. "What do you mean?"

"You have been treated similarly, if not worse, than I have been, yet you are not nearly as bitter. I don't understand why. You have every right to be bitter and mean, but you aren't. I want to know why."

Julia stayed silent for a few moments. They were in the Entrance Hall when she responded. "Being bitter would make me unhappy, Severus. Now I'm not coming down on you, Severus, but I just don't think being mean to others will make me happy. Sure, they may deserve it, but I don't think I have to bring myself to their level to make myself feel better."

They walked along in silence until they were out of the Hogwarts grounds and on the path to Hogsmeade. "I can understand not wanting to be mean, but you are nice," he said. "That's what I don't understand. You are nice to those who pick on you, or people just like them. They don't deserve it."

"No, maybe not," Julia admitted. "But I don't want to be mean or ignorant because I'd feel like I'm sinking to their level. I feel better about me when I'm nice to people, and that's all that matters to me. That's probably my biggest fault. I'm selfish." She smiled at him.

They entered Hogsmeade, and for a moment Julia was distracted by the Wizard town. It was busy with bustling students, but still amazing. She let Severus lead the way since she didn't know her way around.

They ended up at the Three Broomsticks. Since it was early in the day, the pub wasn't too busy. "We're better off coming here first before it gets busy," Severus said. "After it starts getting busy, the rest of the village usually has calmed down." They sat at a table in a corner that was hidden by shadows. Julia didn't question the choice. She knew he was worried about what others would say should they see him with her. She felt a little guilty for putting him in danger.

She took a sip of the Butterbeer that had been placed in front of her. It wasn't bad. Perhaps a little sweet for her taste, but not bad. Then, she noticed Severus watching her with a frown. "What?" she asked.

"Your memories," he said. "I've noticed that you are no older than eleven in any of your memories. Why do you hide so many of your memories?"

"It's already embarrassing enough to have you see all my childhood memories, and they just get worse as I get older. I'd like to keep some things private," Julia lied smoothly.

"We've been in the same boat, you and I," Severus said taking a drink.

Julia smiled. "I suppose we are. It's a first for me."

"Me too," Severus said. The usual relaxing happened finally. It took longer than usual for him to relax. She blamed the confrontation with James and Sirius. It was comfortable between them after that. Severus asked about the memories he had seen in their lessons. Julia answered as honestly as she could, which wasn't hard. Most of the memories were in no way connected to the future. The more she shared with him, the more he relaxed. When the Three Broomsticks started to get busy, they paid and left. They ended up in a small bookshop that was practically deserted. Most Hogwarts students did not willingly buy books. Julia could tell that Severus did, though. While she liked books well enough, she read sparingly. She preferred writing to reading.

While Severus browsed the Potions and Defense books, Julia made her way towards a small Muggle books section. Most of the books were old classics, which was no surprise to Julia. Her eyes slid across the titles, searching for one in particular. Her eyes searched the high shelf, and she spotted the book she was looking for.

"Damn," she muttered.

"Which one do you need?" Severus said silkily from behind her.

She squeaked. "Bloody hell, Severus. You're like a ghost."

"I think I like 'pop-up book from Hades' better," he said with a smirk. "It's much more impressive. So, which one?" He motioned towards the bookshelf.

"Jane Eyre," Julia said, pointing to the book. Severus's six inch advantage over her made him able to reach the book without any help. He pulled the book down and handed it to her.

"Thanks," she said. "Have you read it?" she asked, peering up at him.

Severus shook his head. "Muggle classics are not my preference."

"Oh," Julia sad, crestfallen.

"I take it you have read it?" Severus questioned.

She looked up again and nodded. "It's my favorite." It wasn't the complete truth, but she couldn't tell him what her real favorite was.

Julia paid for the book and they left. They took the path back to Hogwarts. It was late afternoon, and Julia was tired. She was only getting about four hours of sleep every night. Nightmares were nightly occurrences. She had cast a silencing ward on her suite so Severus could not hear her screams or sobs. It took her a while to calm down, and when she did, she either wrote in her journal or sketched something in her journal. There were almost as many pages of writing as there were drawings in the journal. She never slept after the nightmares even though she was exhausted. The only reason she fell asleep at night was because of how tired she really was. By early evening, Julia could hardly keep her eyes open.

Severus noticed her yawn and to Julia's dismay, he asked, "Have you had anymore nightmares?" His voice was stiff and uncomfortable.

"Um...yeah. Occasionally," she said, trying to brush it off like it was unimportant.

"I haven't heard anything, so they must not be as bad."

"No, they're not. I think time is helping. I don't remember much of the accident, so most of the nightmares are my imagination. Apparently, my imagination is losing creativity," she said with a smile that did not reach her eyes. Severus noticed, but did not say anything.

They went their separate ways when they entered the castle. Severus to his rooms and Julia to hers. She collapsed on her bed, exhausted. She tried to resist sleep, but the active day had wiped her out. Reluctantly, she closed her eyes and fell asleep, hoping that the nightmares would not come.

* * *

_Author's Note: There aren't too many more chapters of Julia at Hogwarts, but there is more Julia/Severus interaction coming up. I'm not sure when I can update next, so please be patient. I will not give up on Frozen. Please review, and thank you so much to those who have reviewed. Thanks for reading! _


	9. Apology

**Frozen**

**Chapter 8 - Apology**

For the first night since she arrived at Hogwarts, the nightmares did not come. Instead, Julia had _pleasant_ dreams about Severus, rather than horrifying. She awoke shortly after noon on Sunday, getting more sleep in one night than she had in the past four nights. It was refreshing, and Julia felt better than she had in a week. Seeing as it was Sunday, Julia decided to relax in the sweats and t-shirt that she slept in. She saw no need to get dressed, seeing as she planned to spend the day in her rooms.

When someone knocked on her door, Julia thoroughly wished she had thought to at least do something more to her hair than put it into a messy bun. However, her concern about her appearance disappeared when she saw it was Sirius. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Sirius. "What do you want?" she asked roughly.

"Down girl," Sirius said with a smile. Julia continued to glare. "I came to apologize."

"Why?" Julia snapped. "I'm a Slytherin who is friends with your nemesis. Why would you apologize?"

"Honestly, I don't know, Julia. I just feel guilty. Plus, Remus gave James and I a guilt trip for what we did. James is equally ashamed, but Lily is holding him back from apologizing."

Julia rolled her eyes and leaned against the doorjamb. "Good for Remus," she said. "You guys are really arrogant pricks sometimes. You need to be knocked off your pedestal."

Sirius laughed and Julia's faced relaxed slightly. "That's probably true. So, do you accept my apology?"

"I'm not sure," Julia said doubtfully. Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I doubt that you are truly sorry for attacking Severus." Sirius grimaced. "Exactly. You see, Sirius, you'll have to get over your aversion to him if you want to be friends."

"Not in this lifetime, Julia," Sirius said. "I can't be around him and be civil. It's just not possible."

"Fine, but no more tormenting him," she reprimanded, wagging her finger at him.

"Okay," Sirius whined. Both of them started laughing after a moment. "Apology accepted?" Sirius asked between laughs.

"Yeah, apology accepted," Julia said breathlessly.

Sirius smiled. "I'd invite you to come hang out, but I'm not sure Lily would be pleased."

Julia shrugged. "That's okay. I have some work to do. See you tomorrow, Sirius."

He waved and walked off. Julia stood with her door open, staring expectantly at the door across the hall. Severus' habit of suddenly appearing made her believe he was about to pull the door open and ask her about the conversation she had just had with Sirius. She waited a couple minutes for the door to open, but it didn't. She sighed disappointedly and closed the door.

* * *

Life sped up after that. For the first time, Julia was happy. While she had not resolved her issues with Lily, Julia had accepted the friendships of Sirius, James, and Remus. They all seemed perfectly happy associating with a Slytherin. Actually, she spent so little time in Slytherin robes or around Slytherin students that it almost seemed like she were a Gryffindor. She only hung around the trio during classes or meals. Otherwise, she spent her time alone in her rooms or with Severus. Severus did not question her friendship with the Marauders, which confused Julia. She knew Severus hated James and Sirius more than he did anyone, yet he did not question her association with them.

Before Julia knew it, the Christmas holidays arrived, and Julia was left on her own. Sirius, James, and Remus all went home for the holidays. Severus remained at Hogwarts to Julia's delight. They were sitting in her rooms after an Occlumency lesson. Julia's improvement was amazing, and she no longer felt mentally strained after Severus' attacks. Severus sat in the armchair, and Julia lay on her stomach on the bed. They had been silent for a few minutes.

"Why don't you ask about my friendship with Sirius and James?" Julia asked suddenly.

Severus' head that had been staring into the flames snapped around. "What?"

"Well, I know you don't like them...okay, maybe that is the biggest understatement of this century, but you never mention it." She cocked her head to one side and looked at him curiously.

Severus looked away. His brow furrowed, which Julia knew was the sign that he was thinking hard. His jaw was tense, as well. She hadn't seen him look so uncomfortable in almost two months. Finally, he said, "I'm trying to take a page from your book, Julia." As usual, her name on his lips sent chills down her spine. Luckily, Severus was looking in the opposite direction and didn't see her shiver. "I don't understand how you do it."

"Do what?" Julia asked, furrowing her own brow in confusion.

"Be so understanding. You make it look easy, but it's anything but."

Julia sat up and crossed her legs, Indian-style. "Maybe it's not your nature to be understanding, Severus. Don't try to change yourself, because it will only make you miserable."

Severus looked at her with a piercing gaze that made her heart skip a beat. In reality, most of his looks made her heart skip a beat. "And I suppose it's in your nature to be so kind and trusting?" he sneered.

Julia shrugged, unfazed by his tone. She didn't mind his sneering sarcastic-ness. "Maybe. I don't really know my nature. I'll take your word for it that I'm "kind and trusting" though," she said offhandedly.

The corners of his lips twitched. He had been doing that more lately and she was certain she was close to getting him to smile. "You are probably too kind and trusting for your own good, Julia." Again, she shivered. This time he saw and he stiffened slightly.

"Probably," she admitted. "I suppose it'll come back to bite me in the arse someday." She smiled and shrugged one shoulder.

Severus shook his head and looked back at the fire. "Do you have some aversion to discussing the future?" he asked suddenly after a few moments of silence. He looked back at her with a speculative expression.

Julia was taken aback by such a random question. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we've talked about your past, my past, the present, and my future, but we've never discussed your future. We've never talked about your recent past, either," he noted.

Julia's defenses immediately went up. "Am I not allowed to keep some things private?" she snapped. Her eyes narrowed, but not at Severus. She glared at a spot over his shoulder, trying to ignore the panicked feeling that had erupted in her stomach.

Severus raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I was just curious," he said loftily. "Keep whatever you want private. I don't care."

Julia knew otherwise, though. He did care. If not about her person, he cared about having something to distract him. She immediately felt guilty for her outburst. "Sorry, Severus," she muttered, looking down at her hands in her lap. "I guess the unknown scares me a bit." Actually, it scared the hell out of her. She feared nothing more than the unknowable. "And I don't like remembering the recent past for personal reasons. Isn't it enough to know everything else about me?" she asked, looking up at him with an apologetic smile.

"For now," he mumbled. He probably hadn't meant for her to hear it, and Julia pretended she didn't. "Fine," he said. "I'd better go." He stood up and walked to the door.

"I really am sorry, Severus," she said, her eyes pleading with him to accept her apology.

Severus turned at the door to look at her. "Okay," he said stiffly, but she could see the acceptance in his eyes.

A corner of Julia's mouth lifted in a crooked smile. "Thanks," she said. He nodded and left. As if emphasizing his acceptance, he closed the door softly, which he wouldn't have done had he been angry or upset. Julia sighed contently and fell back on the bed. She really couldn't have handled him being angry with her. When he was upset with her, it was as if the world was being consumed by darkness. When they were on good terms, everything in her life felt right.

As Julia stared at the ceiling and started imagining a familiar face in the texture of the stone, she knew she was more madly in love with Severus than she ever had been. Time with him had only served to make her love grow and only served to make it harder to think rationally about the future. She had known that this would happen, yet she had ignored her conscience. Now, she was seriously debating about saving only him. As much as she liked Sirius, the thought of Severus dying felt like someone was wrenching her heart and stomach out of her body. It hurt to think about Sirius dying, but the pain was nothing compared to the pain that Severus' death would cause her.

Julia groaned and rolled over. She buried her face in her pillow and tried not to think about Severus. She had little success. She did successfully postpone thinking about the future. As usual, she convinced herself that she had the next twenty years to think about everything. Eventually that excuse would run its course, and she was not looking forward to the day that it did.

* * *

_Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter, but if I had continued to where I wanted to stop, the chapter would have taken me a week to write. It's a long one, or at least it has a lot of important pieces. I'll probably post a few shorter chapters rather than post one giant one. Thanks to **cloudstrifefan** for all your wonderful advice. And thanks to those who reviewed. They are really appreciated. Please keep up the reviews. Thanks for reading. _


	10. Meeting

**Frozen**

**Chapter 9 – Meeting**

When the Christmas break ended, Julia could sense a palpable tension in the faces of all the seventh years. Julia knew that look and did not question Severus when he informed her that their Occlumency lessons would be put on hold. N.E.W.T. exams were fast approaching and nearly every student was desperate to do well. After all, the grades received on the exam were the deciding factors in their future careers. Julia was forced to remember the panic she had before the SATs, and the anticipation afterwards for her scores. While she understood Severus' seclusion, it did not prevent her from missing his company.

Julia was not in the least bit concerned about the exams. Considering she had only started using magic a few months before, there was no chance of her passing her exams. At home, that would have sent Julia into a frenzy of studying and cramming, but here, she was completely calm. It didn't bother her that she wasn't going to do well. For the first time, she had not been labeled "the smart one". It was a weight off her shoulders, and she was enjoying it too much to fall back into the pattern of her old life.

She spent most of her time in the library, pouring over spell books. Rather than studying for exams, though, she was searching for spells that would come in handy in the future. Household spells were easy and useful. They would save hours of cleaning and cooking for Julia, which were two tasks she despised. She also looked for warding spells that she could use to protect herself when she was on her own.

The idea of final exams had sent a sense of panic through Julia. The future was completely and ominously blank, and it terrified her. She had no idea where she would go after Hogwarts. She needed to talk to Dumbledore, and she had sent him a note a few days after the holiday ended. He had yet to get back to her, which made Julia fret even more. The longer she had to dwell on the future, the more nervous and panicked she became.

For the time being, her changing the far away future was put on hold. She had to figure out the immediate future before she could commit her time to figuring out how she was going to keep Sirius and Severus alive, and she _was_ going to save both of them. She was quite adamant about that. No matter how much she loved Severus, Sirius deserved a chance at life as much as Severus. While she had finally decided to save them both, how she was going to do it was a total mystery to Julia. Her knowledge of defensive magic was mediocre at best, and then there was the problem of timing. She had to be at the right place at the right time, and she knew that was going to be easier said than done.

* * *

Julia was sitting at a table in the library, flipping through the pages of an advanced defensive magic book. Her eyes drooped and she stifled a yawn. Julia paid them no mind considering she was still only getting about four hours of sleep a night. She shook her head and forced herself to concentrate on the book.

"_Advanced Defense?"_ came a silky voice beside her. Julia squeaked and jumped in the chair. She turned her head to the right and saw Severus leaning over her shoulder to look at the book. He had an eyebrow raised in speculation.

"Damn it, Severus. I swear that you scare me on purpose," she muttered, snapping the book closed. Severus pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. "Why aren't you studying?"

"It's nearly midnight, Julia," Severus said. "I was just doing my rounds," he said off handedly.

Julia furrowed her brow. As a prefect, Severus had to do rounds every night to make sure no students were out pass curfew. However, Julia knew that his areas of the castle were the dungeons and the first floor. He never did the upper floors. She did not question him, though. She knew it would make him uncomfortable to talk about it.

Instead she focused on the lateness of the hour. She hadn't realized it had become so late. She had not noticed the empty library or the darkness of the night sky. She wondered why Madam Pince hadn't forced her out of the library, but Julia assumed that since her table was in the very back of the library, Pince hadn't thought to check the back tables; they were rarely used because they were so far from useful books. Most of the books around Julia were ones on ancient history or divination. Not many students were interested in either subject.

Julia started packing her things up. Severus watched her pensively. He often had that look on his face when he was around her. She wondered what it meant, and she longed to know what he was thinking. When she had finished and stood up to leave, Severus finally spoke.

"Why were you reading _Advanced Defense_?" he asked, walking along side her.

Julia shrugged her shoulder. "Defensive magic fascinates me," she said nonchalantly. "Why were you patrolling the library when it's not your area?" she countered, lifting her eyebrows as she looked at him.

Severus looked straight ahead. "You never came to your room, and Dumbledore wanted me to give this to you." He held out a folded piece of parchment. Julia took it from him and opened it. It just said that she could meet with him on Monday at 7:00.

Julia looked up at Severus. "Thanks," she said.

He nodded. "What's going on?" he asked, indicating the note.

"I just need to talk to him about something. It's nothing." She shrugged.

They walked along in silence until they reached their rooms. Severus looked at her as if he wanted to say something, but he shook his head and went into his rooms. Julia stared at his closed door curiously for a moment before shaking her head, and entering her rooms.

The room was warm from the roaring fire. She smiled and sat down in the armchair to warm her hands by the fire. She hadn't realized she was cold until the heat had started to warm her. Even though she wouldn't trade being so close to Severus for anything, she did not care for the cold and damp air of the dungeons.

The note from Dumbledore had calmed Julia considerably. It felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest. The fatigue she had fought off for so long was quickly taking the place of her nerves. She curled up on the armchair, too tired to walk to her bed. Turning her face into the fabric, she unconsciously took a deep breath. A wonderful scent assailed her nose, and she drifted off into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

Sirius found her in the library the next day during their free period. She wasn't surprised to see the gaunt lines on his face caused by the strain of exams. However, he seemed to be fairing better than others. The lines were barely noticeable and he had his usual easy going smile on his face. He sat down next to her and looked at what she was doing. Fortunately, she was actually writing an essay for Professor Kettleburn, and was able to avoid any questioning about her curious taste in reading.

"What's up, Sirius?" Julia asked, setting down her quill. She leaned back to stretch her stiff back.

"There's a Hogsmeade trip in two weeks," he said, lounging back and linking his hands behind his head. "Would you like to go with me?"

"Two weeks..." she thought, her eyebrows coming together in thought. "Two weeks from Saturday is Valentine's Day," she stated.

Sirius nodded. Julia sighed. "I'd like to Sirius, but first of all, I think that you and I going to Hogsmeade together on Valentine's Day might give off the wrong impression. Second of all, I hate Valentine's Day. It should be called Single's Awareness Day. Why should one day of the entire year determine how much someone loves you? It's stupid, unimaginative, consumerist-oriented, and an entirely arbitrary, manipulative, and shallow interpretation of romance holiday." She spoke very fast, as was her habit whenever she started ranting. She smiled abashedly at Sirius when she had finished.

He gazed at her in surprise for a moment, and then, started laughing hysterically. "I can see you really love Valentine's Day," he said, grinning.

"Oh, yes," Julia said, rolling her eyes. "I just love it."

"Being the case, I suppose that you wouldn't go to Hogsmeade with me if I were the last wizard at Hogwarts?"

"No," Julia said seriously. "Probably not."

Sirius' eyes sparkled with amusement. "Alright, then. Maybe next time," he said, and stood up. He was gone for less than ten seconds when someone else slid into the seat beside her. She didn't need to look up to know it was Severus.

"You know, if I didn't know you, I would say you were stalking me," she said, biting the end of her quill as she flipped through the pages of her book. "So, you heard?"

"Of course, and I am not stalking you. I just seem to be in the right place at the right time," he said smoothly. "Do you really hate Valentine's Day that much?"

Julia finally looked at him. "Yes, " she said. "It's by far the most ridiculous holiday there is. Do you actually enjoy it?"

"Merlin's beard, no," Severus said exasperatedly. "I cannot stand the holiday. I've just never met a girl who doesn't like it."

"Well, now you can't say that," Julia said, returning to her books. Severus stayed next to her. She could feel his eyes on her, and it was extremely distracting. She glanced over at him. "Is there something else, Severus?"

He shook his head. "No, I still don't understand you is all."

"Good. I'd be boring if you knew and understood everything about me." Julia smiled at him, and he looked confused. He always seemed to be confused whenever she was cheerful. Julia knew he didn't understand how she could be so happy even though she had explained it all when they were in Hogsmeade. She supposed his curiosity was what kept him around, and she was not complaining.

The weekend passed without incident. She spent most of it alone, considering everyone was studying. She was starting to grow lonely, and missed Severus' company horribly. She was glad when classes resumed. She may not have spent much time with him during classes, but at least she could see him. It was a normal response for her pulse to spike when she saw him, and no matter how many times she saw him, the reaction was still as violent as the first time.

Julia had not forgotten her meeting with Dumbledore and was eager as well as nervous to speak to him. Eager to relieve the stress she was feeling, and nervous to figure out what the immediate future might hold for her. At five to seven o'clock, Julia knocked on the Headmaster's door. It opened of its own accord, reminding Julia irresistibly of the day she had come to Hogwarts. She had not thought about her old life much lately. It hurt her too much to dwell on it.

Dumbledore was at his desk writing on a sheet of parchment. Julia took a seat in the chair opposite his desk and waited for Dumbledore to finish writing. When he had finished, he looked at her with those twinkling blue eyes. Julia was again struck with how incredibly her situation was. She was sitting across from the most powerful wizard of the age and one of the most beloved characters in literature.

"It's nice to see you, Miss Sellick. I trust that you have adjusted well to your new life."

Julia smiled genuinely. "Better than I could have expected, sir."

"I'm glad to hear it, Miss Sellick. However, I doubt the reason you asked to speak with me was because you simply wished to chat. What is on your mind, my dear?"

Julia shifted nervously. "I've been thinking about the future, sir. The immediate future, I mean. I don't know what I'm supposed to do after Hogwarts. Obviously, I cannot get a magical job considering I'll have had about nine months of magical training. I can work in the Muggle world, of course, but I would really like to advance my magical education. I can do that on my own, but..." She was rambling, and she only rambled when she was nervous. Dumbledore was smiling at her indulgently.

"My dear, do you honestly believe I would send you out without any preparations? I'll make arrangements for you. I will find you a job and a home, so you need not worry. You have a few more months to relax. As far as furthering your education, you have plenty of time to do that."

Julia smiled bitterly. "Yes, I know. I try not to dwell on that," she said.

"It's a good take on life, Miss Sellick. I hope you can impart some of that perspective on Mr. Snape, as well," he said with a knowing smile, his eyes twinkling.

Julia blinked in surprise. "How did you... On second thought, I'd rather not know. Severus is his own person, Professor, and I'm not trying to change him. Goodnight, sir." She stood up and left the office. Dumbledore's last comment had given her something to think about.

Could it be possible that her association with him had changed Severus? He had become a bit more civil towards her, even bordering on nice. She wondered if she had something to do with it, or if it was just Severus warming up to her. Either way, she was involved. Severus seemed to be a different person around her in that he always relaxed his stiff facade and treated her almost like a friend. He had even shared a little of his past with her, which Julia was sure was a sign of trust. Julia hoped this was true. She needed Severus' trust to accomplish what she was trying to do. She knew it was going to be a long, hard path, but she was willing to brave the rough road if it meant Severus would survive the war and be free.

* * *

_Author's Note: Only a couple more chapters at Hogwarts. I'm not sure when I can update again, so I hope this will hold you over for a little bit. Thanks for the wonderful reviews. Keep up the good work. Thanks for reading. _


	11. Final Exams

**Frozen**

**Chapter 10 - Final Exams**

With the stress of the fate of her immediate future off Julia's shoulders, the days of February passed by. She was so consumed by her life at Hogwarts that she had nearly forgotten her life in America. Nearly. There was one occasion at the beginning of March that she put on her coat and stuck her hands in her pocket to find her student I.D. Fortunately, she had been alone and no one had seen the tears roll down her cheeks. It was unbelievable how much emotion she had been blocking out, and when she had seen the card, all that feeling had been unleashed.

Since that moment, Julia had had a difficult time forgetting again. It was as if a dam had broken, and she couldn't put it back up no matter how hard she tried. Instead of writing or studying, Julia would spend hours remembering. Sleep was still evading her, but the nightmares weren't only about Severus anymore. She was dreaming about old memories that she had long forgotten. These repressed memories only added to the arsenal of horrors of her life.

To make matters worse, Julia saw less and less of Severus. He stopped showing up unexpectedly, and had not been coming to meals for some time. The only time she saw him was in class, and she never dared speak to him there. Besides, the haggard and gaunt look on his face prevented her from approaching him whenever she saw him by chance in the library. It hurt her heart to think that she would only be around him for a few more months. After he graduated, Julia knew that she wouldn't see him again for possibly for quite a few years. Because of this, Julia supposed that spending time away from him now was a good thing. It would make the future separation easier.

Julia had not forgotten about her meeting with Dumbledore and as March passed into April, Julia was starting to worry again. She did not like leaving the fate of her future in another person's hands. However, if there was anyone she could trust, it was Dumbledore. Each morning when the owls arrived with the mail, Julia would look up hopefully, but no note came from Dumbledore.

It wasn't until the end of April that Julia heard anything from Dumbledore. It was a Thursday evening and Julia was in her room, dozing by the fire. It was reaching the point in the evening that the lack of sleep started to catch up with her. Her head was resting on the back of the chair and her eyes were half-closed when there was a knock on her door. She shook her head and walked to the door, still a bit disoriented. She was slightly surprised to see Severus standing at her door when she opened it. He held out a piece of paper.

"Dumbledore asked me to give this to you," he said smoothly. Julia blinked her bleary eyes a couple times before taking the piece of parchment. "What's is it about this time?" Severus asked curiously.

"The same thing as last time," Julia said vaguely, opening the note. She was to come to Dumbledore's office tomorrow after classes. She looked up at Severus. He was glaring at her. "What?" she asked.

"You can be incredibly annoying sometimes," he growled.

Julia rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know, but just think how miserable your life would be without my annoying-ness."

A corner of Severus' lips lifted ever so slightly, and Julia grinned. As usual, Severus looked taken aback by her cheerful reaction. She mentally rolled her eyes. She looked back at Severus and noticed he was frowning. His eyes roved her face and his lips pursed.

"What is it, Severus?" Julia asked curiously.

"You're not sleeping." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, I am," Julia replied too quickly.

"Liar," Severus snapped. His eyes met hers and suddenly she was seeing the nightly thrashings and screaming. She was watching her sobbing and shaking as she recovered from the nightmares. Fortunately, the only nightmares that Severus saw were the ones of her repressed memories. Before he could get too far into her mind, Julia put her Occlumency lessons to good use. Severus snapped into her line of vision.

Anger and terror pulsed through Julia's veins and made her glare at Severus. "How dare you!" she hissed. "What makes you think you have the right to invade my private memories?"

Severus' eyes blazed with fury. "Your health was at stake!" he snapped. "I believe that gives me the right to see if you are in danger." He stormed across the hall to his rooms and slammed the door.

Julia stared at the closed door in utter disbelief. The fear and anger she had felt slipped away, and she was overcome by unbelieving shock. He had been...worried about her. He had let it slip out considering his furious disappearance. He didn't intend to tell her the truth, apparently. Slowly, a small smile lifted the corners of Julia's mouth, but her eyes reflected a different emotion. Sadness and pain.

She closed her door slowly, her eyes never leaving Severus' door. If Severus did actually somehow care about her well-being, then it could mean nothing good for Julia. While she was overjoyed that Severus might like her, even as just a friend, Julia knew that the whole thing could only end in heartbreak.

Julia sighed tiredly and rubbed her eyes. She snatched her journal from her bedside table and sat down in the armchair. After a couple hours of writing, Julia set down her pen and stood up to stretch. A sound outside her door made her stop. Instinctively, Julia pulled out her wand and walked to the door. She pressed her ear to the door, but there was no more sound. Slowly, keeping her wand raised, she opened the door.

There was nothing in the hallway, or rather, there was no one in the hallway. When she glanced down, she saw a small wooden box filled with ten vials of some potion. Considering she had no experience with Potions, Julia had no idea what they were by mere appearance. A closer look revealed a label on each bottle that said _"Dreamless Sleep Draught"_ in a snaky calligraphy. She smiled at the door across the hall, though she knew Severus could not see her. For the rest of the year, Julia would find a case of Dreamless Sleep Draughts outside her door in ten day intervals. She never mentioned it to Severus, but she knew it was him. She just knew.

The day after the incident with Severus, Julia could hardly concentrate on her classes. She was eager to know what plans Dumbledore had made. As always, the door swung open on its own when Julia knocked later that day after classes. Dumbledore was speaking softly to one of the portraits when she walked in. He quieted when he turned and looked at her.

"Hello, Miss Sellick," he said, walking over to his desk and sitting down. He indicated for Julia to sit down. When she did, he spoke. "Well, I have had some luck in finding you a job and home for the summer at least. I quite agree with you that you should work in the Muggle world for the time being. I'm sure you will be capable of working in the Wizard world shortly, though.

"I have leased you a Muggle flat for the summer and found you a job in a Muggle grocery market. The village is small, but safe. I'm sure you will find it perfectly accommodating. You may move in as soon as the term ends."

Julia grinned. "Thank you, Professor. I am eternally grateful for all you have done for me."

"I am happy to help, Miss Sellick. Your predicament is not an easy one to handle and I'm glad to assist you in any way possible."

"You have done plenty, sir. I don't know what I would have done without your help."

"I'm sure you would have been fine, Miss Sellick," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

Julia recognized the cue to leave and wished him a good night before exiting the office. She had a light, free feeling in her chest as if a heavy weight had been lifted. When she arrived at dinner, Julia got a strange look from Severus whom she sat across from. She realized she was grinning widely, and the moment she realized it, the grin slipped from her face. Severus looked mildly surprised to see her sitting across from him, and Julia remembered the spat from the night before.

"So, how is the studying going?" she asked Severus as she put some food on her plate.

He was silent for a moment and then said, "Fine."

Julia looked at him closely and could see he was anything put fine. Actually, as she looked closer she could see dark circles under his eyes, but more troublesome was a faint bruise along his jaw. Julia's brow furrowed. "What's on your jaw, Severus?"

Severus twitched involuntarily and turned his face away. "It's nothing," he snapped, glaring at the plate beside him.

"Liar," she growled. "Let me guess," she hissed. "It was Sirius and James." Severus looked at her. "I figured. How long has this been happening, and do not lie to me!"

Severus sighed and ran a hand over his face. "A couple months," he said in a low voice.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Julia asked softly, her eyes filled with sympathy.

"It's nothing, Julia." Julia opened her mouth to argue. "It's been happening on and off for seven years, and I didn't expect it to stop because you told them to. Don't make a bigger deal out of this than it is."

"Severus," Julia snapped. "They are beating you! Why won't you let me help?"

"Because they wouldn't listen. It would only make it worse. They would use you as an excuse. I told you because I couldn't handle it anymore," he sneered.

"Why don't you fight back, then? You are ten times more powerful than both of them combined."

"They would run straight to McGonagall. It wouldn't matter that they have spent seven years attacking me. If I attack them, the Perfect Duo, then I would be expelled."

"I can't imagine Dumbledore being so unfair, Severus." Severus snorted and Julia rolled her eyes. "Fine. If you don't want me to do anything, I won't, but I'm not happy about it."

"That's a first," Severus said silkily. Julia's lips twitched and a small laugh rocked her frame. The mood was lightened, for the time being.

After that, life was a whirlwind. Julia was finally stressed about finals, and spent quite a bit of her time cramming like the rest of the seventh years. Since she had found out about the attacks on Severus, Julia had not spoken to Sirius or James. She knew if she did that she would bring up what they were doing to Severus. However, they didn't seem to notice because there was really no time for socializing.

When the exams came around, Julia was expecting the results. Care of Magical Creatures went pretty well. It was easy as far as classes went, so the exam wasn't too bad. Astronomy wasn't too bad either, since Julia knew the night sky even before she came to Hogwarts. Charms and DADA, on the other hand, were horrible. The written section could have been worse, but the practical was terrible. She paled everytime she thought about them, but she tried not to think about them.

A collective cheer passed through the fifth and seventh years when the final exam finished. Julia was relieved to be finished, but she felt an undeniable pain in her heart. Her time with Severus, Sirius, James, and Remus was coming to a close. It was incredibly possible she would never see James again, and she probably wouldn't see Sirius, Remus, or Severus for almost twenty years.

She felt completely alone as she walked through the corridors of Hogwarts. No one else had to deal with living as a seventeen year old for the next thirty years. Her would be eighteenth birthday had just passed, and Julia had felt miserable the entire day. She normally enjoyed her birthday merely for the reason that she was one year closer to freedom. Now, it didn't matter. She was mentally eighteen, but she wouldn't start physically representing her age until 2007. Julia was not in the habit of pitying herself. She disliked her life but she never felt sorry for herself, until now.

She slumped into a chair in the library and stared moodily at the books on the shelf. She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot on the floor.

"Most people enjoy the end of exams," said a voice behind her. She turned and felt a wave of disappointment when she saw Sirius. She was expecting and hoping it was Severus.

"I'm glad their over," Julia said crossly.

"It doesn't seem like it," Sirius said, sitting down beside her. "What's wrong?"

"I've been secure here, and now I have to leave. I don't know what I want from life, and it scares me. At home, my path was set, but my parents dying kind of messed up that path."

"If life were easy, it would be boring. It's a test, Julia, and fate wouldn't have thrown you this curve-bludger if you couldn't have handled it. You'll be fine, I'm sure. I'd like to stay longer but I'm supposed to meet James and Lily in the Gryffindor Common Room for a celebration party."

"It's okay, Sirius. I'm fine, and thanks," she half-smiled. He walked away. After a few moments, Julia said softly, "Severus?"

He stepped out from behind a bookshelf. "How do you do that?"

Julia shrugged. "Everytime I speak with Sirius alone, you seem to pop up. You follow him, don't you?"

Severus sighed and took the vacated seat beside her. He turned to face her. "Yes. I don't trust him, Julia."

Julia smiled at him. "I know, Severus. What are you doing after Hogwarts?"

Severus shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know," he said stiffly. "I'm spending the summer at home, but I don't know what I'm doing after that."

Julia nodded. "Again, we are in the same boat. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life."

"What was your plan before the accident?" Severus asked.

"I was going to become a writer, but now..." Julia shrugged and shuffled her foot miserably.

"Why can't you do that now?"

"Writing does not provide a steady income, and my parents were going to front some money for me to be able to live. When they died, all withstanding debts were paid off with what money they had, which left me with hardly anything."

Severus nodded but said nothing. He probably didn't know what to say. He stood up and walked away, looking thoughtful. Julia sighed and waited a couple minutes before following after him.

* * *

_Author's Note: Sorry for any grammatical mistakes. I didn't get a chance to review this before posting. And sorry if the chapter feels a little scattered. I had a bit of a tragedy this weekend and I needed a distraction. Please review and thanks for reading. _


	12. Welcome Home

**Frozen**

**Chapter 11 - Welcome Home**

The last few days of classes went by with unfair speed. Julia spent as much time with Sirius, James, and Remus as she could, seeing as she would probably not see them for a while; James she might not see ever again after the summer started. She tried not to think about that when she was around them. If she did she would tear up, and then, they would be concerned and curious. Their concern would only make it harder for her, so she tried to enjoy her time with them.

When she wasn't with the trio, she was with Severus or on her own. She would talk with Severus at meals and between and during classes, which were pretty much free periods after the exams. He never approached her at night to hang out in her room. Julia was slightly hurt that he didn't seem to have much time for her anymore outside of classes. She knew that she shouldn't be so upset, but the time they had spent together had been the happiest of Julia's time at Hogwarts. She would miss him painfully when the summer came.

The day before the students left, Dumbledore sent her a note. It said that he would apparate her to her new home after the students left, and not to worry about packing her things. He would have them sent after he took her to her apartment.

Julia looked at Severus, who had delivered the note. "Dumbledore found me a job and apartment," she explained to him. He walked into her room and sat down in the armchair, like he always did. Julia walked over to the bed and sat down cross-legged.

"Where at?" Severus asked.

"I don't know actually. He's going to apparate me there tomorrow."

"Shouldn't you find out?" Severus asked scathingly.

Julia shrugged. "I'll figure it out when I get there." Severus rolled his eyes. "What are you doing this summer, Severus?" Julia asked raising her eyebrows.

Severus shifted uncomfortably as he always did when she brought up the future. "I'm going to be at home for the summer," he said bitterly. "Then, I'm going to get a job at the Ministry or in Diagon Alley."

Julia nodded, even though she knew he was lying. "Sounds exciting," she said sarcastically.

"Yes, about as exciting as your summer, huh?" he said in a harsh voice.

Julia laughed. Severus shook his head at her. He seemed not to understand her happiness, and Julia was starting to get annoyed with it. He needed to get over his obsession with her happiness. She was happy, so what? Why couldn't he accept that she enjoyed life? She opened her mouth to ask him, but instantly shut her mouth. She didn't want to argue with Severus, not the day before they had to separate. She'd save that conversation for a later date.

As per usual, thinking of the far future made tears come to Julia's eyes. She wiped them away roughly, avoiding Severus' disturbed glance. He was obviously uncomfortable with her emotional instability. Hell! _She_ was uncomfortably with her emotional state. She became depressed or upset without any warning. She would cry for hours at night and spend hours gazing into the fire, in an empty stupor. It was incredibly annoying, and Julia hoped it wouldn't last.

Severus left not long after her near breakdown. Julia couldn't blame him. He probably didn't want to deal with her if she had a complete breakdown, and he undoubtedly had no idea how to handle a emotional teenage girl. She couldn't help but wish he would comfort her. She needed it, and she wanted Severus to be the one to do it.

Julia laughed to herself. Severus would never comfort her. He was too cold and stiff. Plus, he had no interest in her. She was just a distraction for him. Julia shook her head at her foolishness, but it didn't stop her from fantasizing about Severus wrapping his arms around her as she let herself breakdown. It was a comforting fantasy and made her feel a bit better.

The next day was one of the worst of Julia's life. She said goodbye to her Gryffindor friends first. It was the first time she was in close contact with Lily, and Julia was surprised at how civil she was to her, nodding to Julia in farewell. She received hugs from Remus, James, and Sirius, who hugged her the tightest and longest. As she stared into his strikingly handsome face, Julia's heart clenched. The next time she would probably see him would be in the Daily Prophet when he was sent to Azkaban. The same was true for James and when she looked into his face, tears came to her eyes. The full reality that she may never see him again struck her, and it took all of her self control to keep from telling him everything. With one last whispered farewell and hug, they walked off towards Hogsmeade. A couple tears leaked from her eyes as she watched them walk down the path.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and turned to go back down to the dungeons. She hadn't seen Severus come out of the dungeons yet, and she hoped he was still in his rooms. He was just stepping out of his door when she came around the corner. He looked at her, and Julia was sure he looked relieved when he saw her. She stopped when she was close to him, and looked up into his eyes. Behind the cold emotionless eyes, Julia could see some sadness and regret.

"I'm glad I came to Hogwarts," Julia said suddenly.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Why would that be?"

"Because I met Sirius, of course," Julia teased, smiling up at him. Severus scowled. "I'm kidding, Severus. I'm glad because I met you, and that's the truth. I doubt I would have enjoyed my short time if it hadn't been for you. I'm..." she hesitated, but made herself continue. "I'm going to miss you, Severus." She reached out and tentatively wrapped her arms around him for a moment. Severus immediately stiffened from the show of affection. She had never shown him any affection in the past, so this was completely new for the both of them. Julia pulled away quickly, not wanting to make him too uncomfortable.

Severus did not relax his stiff frame for a few moments. After a minute or so, he relaxed and he breathed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. Julia had a flashback of the first day they met when he had offered to heal her. He had pinched the bridge of his nose then, too, and looked equally uncomfortable. When he finally looked up, his eyes shifted nervously, and he said, "I'm...going...to...miss...you...too," he whispered in a broken voice. His tone was robotic, but it made Julia's heart skip a beat. His words made Julia's heart soar and sink at the same time. While she was overjoyed that he was actually going to miss her, this was also what she had feared. She would actually come to mean something to Severus, and it would be almost impossible to separate herself from him. At the moment though, Julia was too happy to care. All that mattered to her right now was that Severus was really going to miss her.

Julia beamed up at her, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile. It was the first time he had allowed himself to smile at her, and even though it was only a half-smile, she would take what she could get. A simple half-smile from him sent Julia's mind and body into overload. Her skin prickled and her heart thumped painfully in her chest. Her breath caught in her throat, and for a few seconds she couldn't speak.

Finally, she managed in a breathless whisper to say, "I hope you have a fun summer, Severus."

The smile fell from his face and the scowl returned. "Yes, it'll be wonderful," he said sarcastically.

Julia rolled her eyes. "Enjoy your freedom while you can, Severus. The real world is not fun." Severus didn't realize how loaded those words were really were, and it hurt Julia to think of the pain he would suffer in the future.

Severus nodded stiffly. "I should go. The train's leaving soon. Goodbye, Julia," he said in a strained voice. The last two words he said slowly and almost sadly.

Involuntarily, a tear leaked from the corner of her eye. "Goodbye, Severus." She wanted to say so much more like she'd write to him or she'd see him soon, but she couldn't promise any of it. Merlin only knew when she would next see him.

Severus sighed and hesitated for a fraction of a second before passing her in the corridor. Julia turned and watched him walk away feeling a dull ache spread in her chest. A lump formed in her throat and her heart constricted painfully. When he had disappeared, Julia walked into her rooms. She was barely inside the door when she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. She didn't allow herself to sob, but she allowed the tears to fall.

When the tears had stopped, Julia stood and wiped them away feeling pathetic and weak. She always felt weak after the cried. In her opinion it was like she was giving up. She hated giving up in anything, especially when it came to internal battles.

She sat alone in her room for about half an hour before someone knocked on her door. She opened it and was unsurprised to see the Headmaster.

"Hello, sir," Julia said, stepping into the corridor.

"Miss Sellick," Dumbledore said with a nod. "I trust your parting farewells were not too difficult." The twinkle in his eyes suggested he knew otherwise.

"No, they could have been worse," Julia said miserably.

"It'll all work out in the end, Miss Sellick," Dumbledore said knowingly, his eyes sparkling.

Julia narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but did not question him. He knew something, and he was not telling her. It was annoying. She followed in silently through the halls and out onto the grounds. They stopped outside the gates.

"Grip my arm tightly, Miss Sellick, and please, whatever you do, do not let it go." He raised his right arm. Julia nodded and took hold of it tightly. The painfully uncomfortable claustrophobic feeling of her chest being compressed consumed her for a few moments, and then it was gone.

Julia released Dumbledore's arm and looked around. They were standing in a plain and small living room. There was a coffee table, sofa, and armchair, but no other decorations. The small kitchen was connected to the living room with a small counter that made it possible to look out the living room window in the kitchen. Julia glanced behind them and could see three doors. One she was sure to the bathroom, the other to her bedroom, and the other the exit of the apartment. While it was plain and dully colored, it was far more than she had expected. It was spotlessly clean and smelled like fresh air as if the window had been recently open.

Julia beamed at Dumbledore. "It's wonderful, sir. Thank you so much!"

Dumbledore smiled at her kindly. "I'm glad you like it, Miss Sellick. The landlady lives in the apartment below you, and I have told her of your situation. She has asked me to let you know that you are welcome to come to her should you need anything."

Julia's heart swelled at the woman's kindness. She hadn't met many people who would be so kind to a stranger they had never met. "Thank you, sir. I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"No repayment is necessary, Julia. I am more than happy to help. Your situation is unique and I never expected to force you out on your own. It would be cruelly unfair." Dumbeldore glanced at the pocket watch in his robes. "I'm sorry to rush off, but I have an appointment. Your work schedule is on the counter, as is a copy of your lease and a couple other pieces of information. I wish you the best of luck, Miss Sellick." With a nod, he disapparted, and Julia was left to explore her new home.

As she expected, her bedroom and bathroom were plain, but she didn't care. She could add her own personal touches as the summer progressed. After checking out her new home, Julia looked at her work schedule. She worked six days a week about seven to eight hours a day. It was a full schedule, but she didn't mind. She needed the distraction that work would bring. Among the other papers was a map of the town. She was able to find the market easily and was glad to see it wasn't a far walk. At most, it would take her ten minutes and that was if she walked slowly. She also noticed on the map that there was a park nearby. Julia made a mental note to check it out. Parks served as a perfect opportunity to find drawing subjects.

A few hours after she arrived, her belongings popped into her room. She unloaded her clothing into the small dresser, and moved her books into the living room. She set up her parchment and quills on the coffee table. She planned to use her free time that wasn't occupied by writing and drawing, studying. Before leaving Hogwarts, she had subscribed to the Daily Prophet and the newspaper always had ads for books. That way she could get new books whenever she advanced her magical knowledge.

She was so busy preparing her new home that Julia had nearly forgotten Severus. Well, she had merely put him in the back of her mind where it didn't hurt so much to think about him. By the time it grew dark, Julia's mind returned to him. She missed him horribly. It felt unusual to not have him next door. She felt almost unsafe. She made sure to put up her silencing charms before she crawled into bed. She didn't have the Dreamless Sleep Draughts anymore, and she wasn't sure what to expect that night.

To Julia's absolute shock, she was awoken not by her screams but by the alarm clock on her bedside table. She hit the clock to stop the alarm and rolled onto her back. She rubbed her bleary eyes and stared at the ceiling. It took her a few moments to realize that she had slept through the whole night. When she did, she bolted up and stared around her room, not seeing it.

She was too shocked to form any coherent thoughts about her dreamless sleep. She numbly got up and showered. She quickly ate breakfast and left her apartment. She followed the stairs down to the bottom floor and stepped out into the town. It was fairly quiet considering the early hour. There were a few people around, and they gave her curious looks. Julia smiled politely at them and continued on her way until she found Maihle's Market.

She opened the door and saw a young woman behind a counter. Julia walked up to her nervously. "Hello," Julia said to her when she looked up. "I'm Julia Sellick. I'm supposed start working here today."

The woman smiled genuinely at her. "Hello, Julia. I'm Alayna Maihle. C'mon into the back, and I'll set you up." Julia followed her through the aisles into the back room. Alayna handed Julia a card. "You'll punch in when you get here, when you leave, and when you take breaks." She handed Julia an apron with Maihle's Maket on the front. "The uniform, obviously," Alayna said with a smile. "You can wear what you like underneath the apron so long as it is appropriate." Julia nodded. "You'll be working in the front room. I'll have you stock shelves today, but you'll eventually work as a clerk. I'd teach you today, but I had a last minute cop out." Alayna sighed. "I hope you're not like some of these other teenagers. They can't get out of bed before noon."

Julia laughed. "No need to worry about that. I'm an early riser."

Alayna smiled. "That's nice to hear. Start with putting these boxes on the shelf. The number on the top of the box refers to the aisle it goes in. It's pretty self-explanatory after that. Put the new stuff behind the stuff already on the shelf. Etc. Etc."

Julia smiled. "I think I've got it."

"Good. Some of these kids need everything explained to them. Welcome to Maihle's Market, Julia." Alayna left Julia to her work. It was extremely easy, but Julia didn't care. Eventually, a few other teenagers showed up. They were around Julia's age but completely childish. She tried to be friendly but found herself snapping at them occasionally. At the end of the day, Julia hung up her apron and punched out her card. Alayna came through the doors just as Julia was about to leave.

"How was your first day?" Alayna asked.

"Good. Tiring but good," Julia said.

"Were the others nice to you?"

"More or less," Julia said with a shrug. "But it's okay. I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to work. If I happen to make friends along the way, so much the better."

"I like your attitude, Julia. I'm glad to have you on the team. Have a nice night." Alayna went back into the store and Julia left. Julia walked along the sidewalk slowly. She passed her apartment building and headed out of town. The park she had wanted to visit was on the outside edge of the main part of town. It wasn't hard to find. It was deserted which was understandable. It was dinnertime and the children were undoubtedly at home eating. Julia wasn't hungry and entered the park.

It had the usual playthings that parks had. Swings, teeter-totter, slides, sandboxes, etc. Julia took a seat on a bench in a far corner of the park that was shaded by a line of trees behind it. The setting sun lit the park with a golden sheen. The deserted and golden park gave off a lonely but beautiful feeling. Julia breathed deeply and stared at the empty park until it turned dark. Then, she finally stood and walked home.

The next two weeks passed in a similar fashion. Julia would work for most of the day and then go to the park after she finished working. Occasionally there would be a stray family here and there, but most of the time the park was empty. She started to bring her journal with her to sketch the sights she saw, or write. She found the park peaceful and comforting. She would stay until it turned dark, and then would go home. She had no more nightmares and was getting full nights' sleep, which did wonders for her.

She would spend most of her day off reading and studying. She gained more on that one day of solitary study than she did in a week at Hogwarts. It had always been that way. She learned better when she taught herself. She could learn at her own pace. If she understood something, she could move on. If she didn't understand something, she could focus on it more.

For two weeks, Julia continued on in this pattern without interruption. Her days were spent working and occasionally socializing with Alayna. Her evenings were spent in the park and she spent the night in restful sleep. It was a comfortable yet monotonous pattern. Julia was starting to get restless. She needed some kind of change.

Just when she thought she would have to go out and try to find change, change found her. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and she had just finished her shift at the market. She was going to the park with her journal in hand, paying no mind to her surroundings. She maneuvered her way through the park towards her usual bench. When she reached it and looked at it, she froze. There was already somebody there. His legs were stretched out in front of him and he had his arms crossed across his chest. Julia's eyes met his eyes, and her heart stopped. The man jumped to his feet in shock.

Her journal slipped from her grasp and fell to the ground with a muffled thud, as she stared into his shocked eyes with absolute disbelief.

"Severus!"

* * *

_Author's Note: I must thank everyone for their wonderful reviews. I loved them all. They are so greatly appreciated. Please keep them coming. I update faster when I know there are people who really want me to update and give me feedback. Thanks for reading._


	13. Summer Pattern

**Frozen**

**Chapter 12 - Summer Pattern**

Julia was sure that the shock in Severus' eyes mirrored her own. Beyond the shock, she was feeling pure elation. A wide grin spread across her face, and before she knew what she was doing, Julia launched herself at Severus. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she laughed out loud.

"It is so nice to see you, Severus," Julia said as she hugged him fiercely. When she let him go and stepped back, Julia saw his eyes were still filled with shock.

"What...What are you doing here?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"This is where Dumbeldore got me a job," Julia said informatively, and suddenly, Dumbeldore's suspicious behavior clicked into place. He had known that Julia and Severus had become somewhat friendly, and he had planned this. The suspicious look in Severus' eyes confirmed that he was thinking the same thing. "I guess that explains why we're both here," Julia said, chuckling.

Severus scowled. He muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like "meddling fool". Julia grinned and sat down on the bench behind Severus. He sat beside her. They both stared ahead without saying anything for a while. Julia was in heaven. For two weeks, she had been missing Severus with ever fiber of her soul. Now, it was like they had never been apart. They both seemed content to remain silent, but Julia was curious about why he had been in the park. It didn't seem like a normal hangout for someone like Severus.

Finally, her curiosity got the better of her and Julia asked, "Why were you in the park?"

Severus glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I live close by," he explained.

"And?" Severus quirked an eyebrow at her. "I doubt you came to the park merely because you like near by."

"My house is not a pleasant place at the moment," he said stiffly.

"Are your parents fighting?" Julia asked bluntly. She knew what it was like to have her parents fighting and the need to escape from that environment.

Severus nodded. "What were you planning to do? Spend the night in the park?" Julia's voice was not mocking, merely curious.

Severus didn't answer, but Julia knew that he had intended to stay out in the park all night. Julia had done something similar when her own parents used to fight. She would sneak out her bedroom window and spend the night lying out under the stars. She only did it during the summer because she didn't have school to distract her. After a moment's hesitation, Julia related to Severus that she had experienced the same as he had.

"I'm not trying to minimize what you have experienced, Severus. I just want you to know that you are not alone. I've been there, and I know how horrible it can be," she finished. Severus had remained silent and emotionless during her entire tale. When she finished, he looked at her. Julia could not determine what he was feeling. His face betrayed nothing.

"You are the most peculiar person I have ever met, Julia," he said after a moment of silence. "How on earth can you be so annoyingly happy? We have experienced basically the same things, and yet you are so bloody cheerful." His voice was bitter.

Julia shook her head. "Severus," she said exasperatedly. "Why are you so consumed by my happiness? Is it such a bad thing? Does it really annoy you that much?" By the time she finished speaking, the pain in her voice was undeniable.

Severus finally turned his face to look at her. "No, it's not a bad thing. I just don't understand..."

Julia's stared at him, and it hit her. "You want me to be like you," she said suddenly. Severus' eyes snapped to hers. "We have lived through so many similar things, and you want me to be like you. You don't want to feel like you're the only one like you." Her voice was awed. She couldn't believe that she hadn't seen it before.

Severus eyed her fiercely. He stood up and glared down at her. "I do not want you to be like me," he snapped. "And I don't want you to pity me, either," he growled. He turned to storm away but Julia reached out and grabbed his hand. He turned back to her, his eyes still fiery. The physical contact with Severus immediately affected Julia. Her pulse raced and the blood rushed to her face. She let his hand go instantaneously, but he remained facing her.

"I don't pity you, Severus. I empathize with you. I know what you are feeling, but I react differently. And, yes, you do want me to be like you, but I understand that. I wish I could say I want the same for you, but I don't." Julia stood up and looked him in the eye. "I don't want you to be like me because you are who you are meant to be, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You are meant to be Severus Snape and I am meant to be Julia Sellick. Don't try to change that, Severus."

Severus gazed at her like she was something completely foreign. He shook his head. "You don't know me, Julia. If you knew everything, you _would_ wish I was like you. You are innocent and naïve, everything I am not."

Julia interrupted him. "And you are brilliant and strong, everything I am not," she said. _And we complete each other_ she thought.

Severus shook his head. "You think too much of me, Julia. I am not the person you think."

After a moment of silence, Julia asked, "Are you going to explain that statement?" Severus shook his head. "I didn't think so, and until you do, I will choose to think well of you."

"You are the most stubborn person I have ever met," he said in exasperation.

Julia smiled. "I know," she said. "But if I gave in every time you tried to push me away, I would have left you alone the first week I came to Hogwarts. Is that what you wanted?"

Severus' eyes narrowed. "That's a trick question. If I reply no, you're ego will expand. If I say yes, you'll be angry with me. Either situation puts me into a problematic situation."

Julia laughed. "I guess I'm more Slytherin than I thought," she said slyly.

A corner of Severus' mouth lifted into that crooked-smile that he had given her when they said goodbye two weeks before. Julia's pounded painfully in her chest and a shiver ran down her spine. "Are you hungry?" Julia asked suddenly.

"What?" Severus asked, clearly taken aback.

"I'm starving," Julia said. "I live only a little ways away. Would you like something to eat?"

Severus nodded stonily, and Julia led the way to her apartment. He stayed close to her, and Julia's heart fluttered like a hummingbird's wings the entire way. Only when they entered her home and Julia stepped away from Severus did her heart slow down. She entered the small kitchen and took the necessary items for sandwiches out of the refrigerator. Severus leaned on the other side of the counter, looking into the kitchen. It was disconcerting to have him watching her as she made the sandwiches. She could feel his eyes on her and the blood in her veins raced. When she finally finished she set a plate in front of him and leaned on the opposite side of the counter from him. She fingered the sandwich on the plate in front of her, her eyes watching Severus' hands as they picked up his sandwich.

"I thought you were hungry," he commented after a moment.

"I am," Julia said, not looking up. She took a bite to prove her point. She finally looked up and saw Severus staring at her. He looked almost comfortable. "You know," she said without warning, speaking quickly. "If you ever want to get out of your house like tonight, you can come here. I'm more than happy to have you."

"Why?" he asked plainly.

"Because I would have liked to have had somewhere to go when my parents fought," Julia said looking away.

Severus didn't say anything, and Julia wondered if he took her seriously. After they ate, Julia and Severus sat in silence in the living room. It wasn't an awkward silence. Instead, they sat comfortably. Julia wrote and Severus picked up one of the books lying on the coffee table. It was around midnight that she finally closed her journal. She lay her head back, and nodded off without a second thought.

She was standing in the Great Hall. The four house tables were gone. In their place were cots, over one hundred of them. Bodies, some bloody, some pale and motionless lay on the cots. Julia's eyes roved around the Great Hall. Her eyes fell on someone who was undoubtedly Draco Malfoy who was coming towards her followed closely by who Julia was sure his father. Draco gripped her arms tightly, his eyes pained. "Come on, Julia," he said hurriedly, trying to push her out of the hall. He wasn't turning her around, but rather pushing her backwards. "We need to go, now," he said his voice panicked.

"What's wrong, Draco?" Julia asked, apparently familiar with the boy. She looked at Lucius. "Lucius?" she asked, also seemingly to be familiar with the older man.

"Go, Julia," Lucius said, his eyes concerned.

Julia shook off Draco's hands. "No," she snapped at them. "Where is Severus?"

Draco glanced at his father nervously. Julia grabbed Draco's robes and shook him. "Where. Is. Severus?" she asked slowly, panic overtaking her mind.

Lucius nodded at his son, who said, "I'm sorry, Julia. There was nothing anyone could do."

"Where is he!" she screamed, tears coming to her eyes. She was shaking Draco violently, her chest clenching painfully. Draco grasped her shoulders and slowly turned her around. His arms wrapped around her, as a scream sounded through the hall.

Severus was lying lifeless on a cot, his eyes closed and looking peaceful enough to be asleep. The gash on his neck had been cleaned up, but he was without a doubt dead. Julia's screams and sobs went on and on. She was shaking violently. Someone was calling her name.

"Julia!" Severus shouted. Her eyes snapped open. Her cheeks were wet with tears. Severus was leaning over her, his hands on her shoulders. His eyes searched her face, filled with concern. Seeing him alive was too much for her. She reached out and put her arms around him. Her face buried in his chest as tears streamed down her face. Severus' entire body stiffened from the contact, but after a few moments, he relaxed. A tentative hand pat her back awkwardly.

It had been the worst dream she had ever had. This one actually felt real. It seemed like it was a prophecy for the future, and that was what made it so horrible. All the other dreams had felt disconnected and like a bit or piece of what could happen. This was the first time she had had a dream where an entire scene had played out for her. It terrified her almost as much as if Severus had really lay dead in front of her.

She didn't know how she did it, but she fell asleep after she had calmed down. She thought that being so close to Severus and knowing he was safe might have had something to do with it. Anyhow, the next thing she knew, she was waking up to a gentle shaking of her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and she stared up into Severus' eyes.

"Your alarm was going off, so I thought you probably needed to get up," he said rigidly.

Julia sat up, rubbing her stiff neck. "Um...yeah. Thanks," she said blearily. She stood up and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling uncomfortable. "Um...I'm sorry about last night, Severus," she mumbled. "I didn't mean to do that."

"It's fine," Severus said. "Why didn't you tell me that you still had nightmares?"

"I haven't," Julia said. "Not since that night that you confronted me about not sleeping. This was the first time since then."

Severus nodded and looked thoughtful. Julia was sure he was planning to make her more Dreamless Sleep Draughts, and sure enough, that day when she got home from work, a small tray of vials was sitting outside her door. She smiled, and took them inside.

From that day on, there was something different about Julia and Severus' friendship. Julia could not pinpoint what is was, but she was sure the nightmare had been the cause. Severus never brought it up, but she was sure he was keeping something from her.

Severus also took her up on her offer. Nearly everyday when she came home from work, Severus was waiting for her outside her door. She ceased going to the park, and instead, spent most of her time in her apartment with Severus. There were times when he would be gone for a couple days at a time, and when he came back, he looked worn and pained. Julia was sure he was attending Death Eater meetings and it took him a couple days to recover from them. Julia never asked about where he went. She knew he would lie about it, and she didn't want to stress him anymore.

About a month passed without incident. It was a comfortable pattern for both Julia and Severus. Severus and Julia talked mostly about magic, which Julia was becoming more knowledgeable about every day. The more she discussed magic with Severus the more she learned. She took the Dreamless Sleep Draughts every night. She had a theory about the nightmares. Only when she was around Severus did they happen, but she didn't have the strength to stay away from him. She's take whatever potion she had to, to repress the nightmares and be able to spend time with Severus.

It was late one night that Julia's peaceful life crashed around her. She had finished eating and was washing dishes when someone knocked on her door. She was sure it wasn't Severus. The knock was too soft. It might be Melinda, her landlady, but she couldn't see why she would be visiting at nearly eleven o'clock. When Julia opened the door, a body fell against her. The familiar scent of Severus' aftershave or whatever he wore assailed her nose. She gripped his lax body. He was still standing, but most of his weight was leaning on her. She helped in over to the sofa. He fell onto it with a groan. His face was shining with sweat and was a horrible gray color. His eyes were shut tight and she could see his entire body was tensed up in pain.

"Severus," Julia gasped. "What is it? How did this happen?"

"Cruciatus," he said through gritted teeth. His eyes remained clenched shut. "_Relaxare Corpus_," he murmured.

Julia sprung to life at the words. It was one of the healing spells Severus had mentioned once. She had never had the need to use it. She raced to get her wand, and when she returned, Severus had lay down on the sofa. His eyes and fists were clenched still. Julia's mind was blank except for the spell he had muttered to her. She knew the theory behind it. Kneeling next to the sofa, Julia placed the tip of her wand on his forehead and clearly said, "_Relaxare Corpus_." She waved her wand slowly down to Severus' feet and he immediately relaxed. His fists unclenched and the muscles in his face loosened.

"Rest, Severus," Julia murmured softly. His breathing evened and so did Julia's. The shock was beginning to wear off, and exhaustion was starting to take its place. She slumped into the armchair, her body shaking all over with an internal chill. She wasn't cold, but she couldn't help trembling. The sheer horror of what had happened set in. Severus had been brutally attacked at a Death Eater meeting. She knew he had attended them before, but this was the first time he had come to her. She wanted to know why. She wanted to know what he had done to deserve such a punishment, but it would have to wait. Severus needed time to recover, and then he would have to answer questions. There was no room for evasive answer anymore.

* * *

_Author's Note: So the next chapter may be entirely in Severus' point of view. I'm not sure yet, but I think there needs to be a chatper explaining what Severus is thinking. Anyway, thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming. thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. I apoligize for any grammatical errors. I didn't get a chance to revise this chatper just yet. It will be done soon. Again, thanks for reading._


	14. Explanation

**

* * *

**

Frozen

**Chapter 13 - Explanation**

Severus did not regain consciousness until late the next afternoon. Even with so much rest, Severus' body screamed in protest. It wanted nothing more than to stay asleep, but Severus knew he needed to awaken. He sat up slowly, his eyes squinting against the brightly lit living room. He looked to the armchair for Julia, and was shocked to see she was no where. A fierce tidal wave of disappointment washed over him, taking him by surprise. He was not used to such emotions.

Ever since the night he had shaken Julia awake from her nightmare, Severus was experiencing new and foreign emotions. He never brought up that night or what he had heard. He knew that Julia had no idea what she had screamed in her sleep. Even now, her voice screaming, "Severus! No! No! Severus!" made his blood run cold. The undiluted agony and terror in her eyes when she woke haunted him. It was not in her nature to be miserable, and to see her so pained had made his long still heart clench. That night seemed to serve as a catalyst, and ever since, Severus' thoughts about Julia had changed.

Severus tried to stand, but fell back onto the sofa with a groan. A small gasp from the kitchen made Severus freeze. "You're awake!" Julia cried softly, and a moment later she was kneeling before him, staring searchingly into his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

Severus snorted derisively and clenched his jaw as his muscles tightened painfully. "Wonderful," he muttered sarcastically.

Julia smiled. "Good," she said humorously. She handed him a glass filled with clear liquid. Severus eyed it suspiciously. Julia sighed. "It's water, Severus," she said in an exasperated voice.

Severus glared at her. "It could be Veritaserum," he said, eying the glass cautiously.

Julia chuckled and he glanced at her. He was no longer taken aback by her cheerful responses even though he didn't fully understand why she was happy. No matter how many times she explained it, her reasoning made little sense to Severus. If it was as easy as Julia said it was, he should be as pleasant as she was. He grimaced at the thought of being so joyous. It was a sickening thought.

"I have no skill whatsoever with Potions, Severus. I could no more make Veritaserum than a Dreamless Sleep Draught," Julia said knowingly. Her eyes sparkled mischievously. Severus' eyes snapped to Julia's face. She had a laughing smile on her lips that Severus found quite appealing. Severus blanched. It had become normal for him to think that Julia's appearance was appealing to him, and he did not like it. The only other person that he had ever found physically attractive had been Lily. Of course, there had been pretty girls at Hogwarts, but Lily had always been the only one Severus noticed. It had been Lily's kindness and compassion that had attracted Severus. Over the years, he had come to revere Lily as something more than human. She was an untouchable angel that he wanted more than anything.

Lily was kind, gentle, tender, graceful, intelligent, and sympathetic. She had been his first and only true friend, and he cherished what she had given him. For almost seven years Lily had been the only shining star in his dejected existence. It was enough for him to never want or need anyone else. Well, the pain of their lost friendship had been so tortuous that he never wanted to love anyone else because it would only lead to more pain. Besides, no one could ever compare to the wonderful person that Lily was. Even after the end of their friendship, Severus had no hard feelings for her, and couldn't blame her for wanting nothing to do with him. He had been nothing more than a crutch for her, and she was better off without him.

As he stared at Julia though, a vague stirring of that old attraction he had had for Lily occurred in his chest. It had been happening more often over the past month, and each time, he pushed the feeling down deeper. He didn't want to care about Julia because of the experience with Lily. It would be a torment to him when she left him, which she would undoubtedly do. He didn't want to face that misery again. It would also bring Julia down just as it had Lily. Being his friend and being close to him would only make it more difficult for the other person. Besides, he loved Lily too much to ever feel anything similar for anyone else. She was everything he could ever want, and if he couldn't have her then he didn't want anyone else.

Severus did grudgingly appreciate what Julia had done for him over the past several months. He had had no idea all those months ago when he walked into Dumbeldore's office that he would end up with a...friend. He had no admit that Julia had become a real friend to him. He did not feel the need to behave a certain way around her as he did with the other Death Eaters. To them, he was the expert on the Dark Arts, and while he enjoyed studying the subject, he did not enjoy performing the magic as they did. He taught them the magic because they accepted him, and the Dark Lord found a use for him. However, the Dark Lord was far from finding Severus a trustworthy servant, and he often found a reason to torture Severus. Severus thought it might have something to do with his half-blood status, which had somehow leaked amongst the Death Eater ranks.

The Dark Lord had been in a "playful" mood the night before and saw it fit to use Severus as a "toy". Severus shuddered at the memory of the constant stream of pain that had been afflicted upon him. Julia saw the shudder and the smile slid off her face. She sat down in the armchair and gazed at him in concern. He turned his face away from her caring eyes.

"Severus," her soft voice inquired. "What happened to you? Who tortured you?" Severus' gaze slowly moved back to her face, unwanted worry pulsing in his veins. How could he explain to her why he had been tortured? As he stared at her, her face was thoughtful, and gradually, comprehension lit her face. "Lily told the truth, didn't she?" Julia said in astonishment. Severus' blood ran cold in his veins. "You're a Death Eater."

It was not a question. She stated it in an assured tone, and her eyes stared at him knowingly. Severus stared back into her eyes uncomprehendingly. He didn't know what to do. He was, of course, a Death Eater, and to lie to Julia was not easy. She had been honest with him about the pain she had suffered in her life, and he felt unwillingly guilty about lying to her.

Severus nodded. "Yes," he murmured. He looked down at his hands, not wanting to see Julia's horrified face. He was sure that their friendship was over. There was no way that it could survive a blow like this. He heard her shift off of the chair and was sure she was going to begin shouting at him. The yelling never came. Instead, he felt the sofa beside him sink a little and a hand came into his field of vision. It rested on one of his hands on his knees.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered. "I thought we...we were friends."

He refused to look into her eyes, fearful of what he would see there. "We are," he said without thinking, and they were. They had become close friends, and that's what made discussing his shameful life so difficult. Had it been anyone else, he wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. He could see how truly good Julia was, and he knew she deserved an equally good friend.

"Why didn't you trust me, then?" Julia asked. The hurt was evident in her voice. Severus finally looked at her. She was staring down at her hand on his. Her brow was furrowed and she was biting her lip.

"It has nothing to do with trust, Julia," he said slowly. "What would you have thought of me if I told you I was a Death Eater?" he asked bitterly.

"Well...I would have wanted to know why, but as I got to know you, I can understand the reasoning behind wanting to be a Death Eater. It's an acceptance thing. You want to be part of a group and have friends. I get that because I want that too. I think everyone does. But the thing I want to know, Severus, is do you enjoy being a Death Eater?" She spoke into her lap and Severus was amazed. Again, she was understanding. Merlin's beard! What he would give for her to once blame him for his actions!

When he didn't answer her, she looked up at him. Apparently the look on his face was answer enough because she said, "That's what I thought. I'm sure you were expecting me to scream and shout at you. You probably thought that I wouldn't want to be friends anymore. Well, I still want to be friends if you want to be." Her eyes squinted with a smile and glittered like sapphires.

"Why?" he asked bluntly. "Why would you want to be friends with a Death Eater?"

Julia sighed. "Because you don't truly enjoy what you do. If you enjoyed it like some Death Eaters, I would probably never speak to you again." He could tell she was teasing, but her words still stung a bit. She continued. "The fact that you don't find a sadistic pleasure in being a Death Eater proves there is some good in you, even though it is buried deep. I'm not giving up on you until I'm sure there is no good left in you, and I don't see that happening anytime soon. At least, not while I'm still around." She grinned at him, but there was still concern in her eyes.

Severus knew she was trying to comfort him. Julia had an uncanny ability to sense when he was stressed, and she always tried to make him feel better. She usually did, and this time was no exception. He relaxed against the sofa and leaned his head back. It usually took him at least two days to recover fully from the Cruciatus Curse. Julia must have realized he was tired because she stood up, removing her comforting hand from his.

Before walking away, she turned and looked down at him. "One last thing, Severus. Why did they torture you?"

"I'm half-blood," he said, closing his eyes.

"Oh," was her soft reply. She walked away, leaving Severus to rest in peace.

* * *

Julia left for work not long after Severus fell back asleep. She had called Alayna to switch to a later shift. She had said that she had an emergency and a friend needed her. Alayna switched her shift with Julia's, so she was just punching out when Julia came in. She smiled at Julia as Julia punched her card.

"Is everything alright?" Alayna asked, hanging up her apron.

Julia nodded. "Yeah, everything is fine. My friend got into an accident and I just felt that I should be there. Thanks for trading shifts with me."

"It's no problem. You haven't bailed at the last minute like some others. It was the least I could do when you've been such a reliable employee." Alayna smiled and left Julia to start her shift.

She and Lucy were working registers tonight. Lucy was one of the girls who annoyed Julia to no end. She had a nasally voice, bleached hair, and a tiny intellect. About an hour into her shift, David came over to Lucy, and they started talking about some kind of party that was going to happen that weekend. Julia ignored them, and stared blankly off in the other direction.

"Hey, Julia," came Lucy's voice. Julia turned to look at the annoying girl. "You should take a break from the convent and come to the party on Saturday," the girl sneered.

Julia smiled sweetly but when she spoke her voice was steely. "Oh, I'd love to, Lucy," Julia said snidely. "But I think doing laundry would be more entertaining than spending an entire evening with you lot."

Lucy glared and David laughed. Lucy turned her gaze to him and Julia turned away. She smiled smugly at herself. The smile fell off her face a moment later when a familiar voice spoke from behind her.

"Julia!" a male voice gasped in shock. Julia spun around, her eyes widening in absolute astonishment. "Oh my god! It's so great to see you, Julia!" Sirius said, rushing over to her and crushing her in a hug. Julia caught the sight of a stunned Lily and James a little ways away. Sirius released her and looked down at her with pure joy.

"What are you doing here?" Julia asked Sirius numbly. She was still in shock and didn't know what she was feeling.

"James came to visit Lily. I tagged along," he said with a shrug. Lily and James had walked over to stand beside Sirius. James looked happy to see her, and Lily looked stunned. "What are you doing here?" Sirius asked.

"Dumbledore found me a job and an apartment," Julia explained. She was mentally slapping herself. She had totally forgotten that Severus and Lily grew up in the same town. It hadn't seemed important when she had moved here and first seen Severus.

"That's a coincidence," Lily said stiffly.

Julia's eyes snapped to Lily and blazed with anger. "I think Dumbledore set it up," Julia responded, knowing full well that Lily would grasp the meaning of the statement. Sure enough, Lily's brow furrowed and she frowned slightly.

"We should get going," Lily said to James. "Mum and Dad will be expecting us back soon."

James nodded. "Sirius," he beckoned.

"I think I'll stay here and catch up with Julia," Sirius said, smiling at Julia. Julia smiled back. She had missed Sirius' sense of humor and bluntness.

James nodded. "I'll see you later, then," he said, patting his best friend on the back. James smiled at Julia. "It's nice to see you, Julia." Julia smiled at him and he and Lily left.

Sirius kept her mind occupied for the rest of her shift with endless questions about what she had been doing since he last saw her. How he could question her so incessantly about her very mundane life was beyond her. She never mentioned Severus, and asked him about his summer. He had spent it with James. Lily had spent most of her time with James at his home, which explained why she hadn't seen Lily before now.

After her shift, Sirius insisted on walking Julia home because it was so late. As they walked, Sirius stayed close to her. It wasn't an uncomfortable closeness, more like a protective stance. To onlookers it might look like they were "together". Julia and Sirius laughed at some sarcastic comment she made when they approached her apartment building. Looking up at the door, she froze, horror washing over her laughing features.

Sirius noticed her face. "Julia, what is..." His eyes fell on the person standing at the door to Julia's apartment.

Staring at the two friends with a stony gaze filled with fury and hatred was Severus.

* * *

_Author's Note: So, I didn't think an entire chapter in Severus' POV was necessary. There will be sections throughout the story in his POV to help explain what he is thinking and feeling. Also, if you haven't caught on, I like cliffhangers. When I write cliffhangers, the updates come faster. Don't aske me why cause I have no idea. _

**_To:_**

_**Cloudstrifefan: **The truth about Julia will come out eventually, but not for a while. Obviously, she can't explain she is from the future because everyone she told would want to know what would happen. Thanks for the review. _

_**GoDudette: **I know Severus must be attached to Lily, but I also think it's important to realize that his devotion to her really comes from guilt after she is killed. He blames himself for her death and feels he must repay the debt. Also, after she dies, Severus creates an almost goddess-like image of Lily in his mind. A lot of his attachment comes from a changing opinion over time. _

**_Lady Vyxen:_ **_Julia doesn't have a roomate. She has a landlady who owns the building, but rents the apartments out to tenants. Also, Lily spends most of her time with James. She and James are married not long after their seventh year, so it makes sense for her to spend time with him._

_Thanks to everyone else who reviewed! They really inspire me to write. Thanks for reading. Please review. _


	15. Summer's Over

**Frozen**

**Chapter 14 - Summer's Over**

Julia stared at Severus, too frightened to move. What was making her so scared was the look on Severus' face. Pure and undiluted hatred was etched in every line of Severus' sallow face. His lax body that had been leaning against the door jamb went rigid as he gazed at Sirius. Julia risked a glance at Sirius. His face was stony and mirrored the hatred in Severus' face.

"Julia," Sirius said through barely moving lips. "What is he doing here?"

"He is my friend," Julia snapped, disliking Sirius' tone.

Sirius' lip curled at her response, but he continued to stare at Severus. "How could you be friends with this scum?" he said in disgust. He was looking at Severus as if he were a piece of filth on his shoe. Julia's eyes glanced at Severus, whose blazing eyes were narrowed on Sirius. She could see the battle within him, and she feared what he would do if she didn't step in. Besides, Sirius' insult rang in her ears like a bell. Before she knew it, Julia had whipped out her wand and thrust it under Sirius' chin. Both Severus and Sirius looked equally shocked by her sudden violent reaction.

"Never insult Severus in front of me," she growled. "I am sick of this ridiculous school-boy hatred. It is childish. If you cannot accept that I am friends with both of you, then maybe we shouldn't be friends at all." She wrenched her wand away from Sirius and stormed down the hall, shoving past Severus. She opened her door and slammed it shut, furious.

Julia slumped into the armchair and stared moodily at the door. The sudden flare of anger had confused her. She had no idea where such violent fury had come from. Of course, she had every right to be angry with Severus and Sirius, but to be so angry that she contemplated attacking Sirius was not warranted. As she thought about it, her reaction made less and less sense. Her anger made sense, though. They were being so childish! Her violence did not make sense. She was not violent by nature. In fact, she hated violence. Why hurt someone physically? It only led to more pain. Logical reasoning made more sense.

The flare of fury ended almost as quickly as it came, and Julia was left feeling ashamed of her actions. She had not needed to freak out on Sirius and Severus. While they deserved a good curse, she was supposed to be their friend, and a few moments ago, she hadn't acted like it. She _should_ be grateful for their friendship. For the first time in her life Julia was blessed with real friends and she may have ruined it over something as minute as a stupid school-boy rivalry. She felt like the pathetic one now. Julia had to continuously tell herself that she had the right to be angry and that she had nothing to be sorry for. After all, she hadn't actually attacked Sirius, merely threatened.

Julia groaned loudly at her foolishness. Why?! Why did she have to be so wildly emotional!?! She stared moodily across the room, as a darkness clouded her mind. She thoroughly hated herself at the moment. Julia had never been one to throw a tantrum when she was upset, but at that moment, she entertained the idea of stomping around her flat, slamming things, just to make herself feel better. However the sensible part of her mind told her that would only serve to upset her more, and concern her neighbors.

The darkness in her mind made her think back to the last time that she had felt it. It had been in her junior year when... Julia shook her head. She hated to think of the specifics of that horrible time, but the only thing that had helped had been writing. There had been a few years where her love for writing had been suppressed by a desire to fit in, but in those black months, her desire had been put aside. She had turned to pen and notebook as therapy, and had never looked back. Anytime that darkness threatened to take over again, which was more frequent than Julia would care to admit, she picked up a pen and would write whatever came to mind.

As she recalled the vague details of her high school, Julia could not help but to compare her current life to her old one. Without a second thought, Julia summoned her journal and began to scrawl words across the page. Each word she wrote about her high school was filled with loneliness and pain, and as she read it over, Julia's eyes welled with tears. After writing about Hogwarts, she knew how truly empty and depressed she had been in America. Her words also frightened her. Her life at Hogwarts was not dominated by school as her life in America had been. It was dominated by a person, whose every written action sent Julia's heart pattering.

The fact that Severus had come to hold the primary slot of importance in her life scared Julia. Merlin knows why, but Julia trusted him. She wanted to run to Severus whenever she had a problem or was upset. It was always Severus that she thought of in the morning, during work, and at night before she slept. Julia knew though that her love for Severus would only bring her pain.

"_Always"_ still rang clearly in her mind. Severus would and could only love Lily. Julia could not change that, and she would get no where trying to. She could love Severus as he did Lily – secretly...couldn't she? She had done well enough so far. The impending years of perpetual adolescence made her think so. She would eventually have to extricate herself from Severus, at least for a little while, until she could safely reveal everything. While the thought of separation was painful, the thought of Severus' disgust of her situation was even more painful.

So long as Severus was alive and relatively content, Julia could live with loving him in secret. She didn't need her love returned to continue loving Severus. All that mattered to her was his survival. She was essentially a selfish creature, after all. While she wanted Severus to live for his own happiness, the pain that his death would cause her was the predominant motivation.

Julia groaned again. It always came back to the same thing – Severus' and Sirius' survival. Anytime she came to these thoughts, Julia would shake them away. She **did not** want to think about the distant future. It was too much for her to deal with right now. Julia was sure that time would help, and Merlin knew that she had plenty of it to use thinking about rescue attempts. Just under twenty years was more than enough time to perfect her plans for Sirius and Severus.

It was this vaguely comforting thought that calmed Julia enough to fall asleep that night and sleep without waking once. When she woke, the previous night felt like a dream, and Julia hoped it had been. But when Severus was not waiting for her when she came home from work, she knew for sure that it hadn't been. Her shoulders sagged as she unlocked her door and tossed her bag on the counter.

She passed by the window and glanced out. She froze and did a double take. Yes, that was definitely Severus staring at her apartment window from across the street. The moment she was sure it was Severus, she sped out of her apartment, down the stairs, and out onto the sidewalk, nearly tripping as she caught her foot on the sidewalk. Her eyes searched the sidewalk on the other side of the street. Severus wasn't staring at her apartment anymore. She searched up and down the street, and just caught the sight of him rounding a corner.

Julia took off running without a second thought. She maneuvered as well as she could around the people on the walkways, but could not help but hit some of them. She ignored their scathing remarks, too intent on finding Severus. She turned the corner in time to see Severus walk through the gate of the park. She had been so consumed with finding Severus that she hadn't realized she was taking the path to the park. It was nearing dusk, so the park was deserted.

"Severus!" Julia called. He was walking slowly so she caught up to him quickly. She stood back from him. He had stopped near the bench where they had seen each other for the first time that summer. Her heart hammered from her sprint through the town and from being in Severus' presence. "Severus...please..." she gasped, slightly out of breath.

"I don't have time for this, Julia," he snapped, still with his back to her.

Julia glared. "Damn it, Severus. I'm sorry!"

Severus twisted around to stare at her, his brow furrowed. "What?"

Julia sighed. "I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't mean what I said last night. I just..."

"Yes, you did," Severus growled, but the glare slid from his face and his eyes softened almost imperceptibly. "And you were right," he said grudgingly.

Julia's fidgeting stopped. "What? Did you just admit that I was right?"

Severus glared at her. "If you take this as a compliment, I will personally see to it that..." he stopped, apparently unable to continue.

"What?" Julia snapped. "See to it that...what?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, c'mon, Sev." The nickname slipped off her lips before she could stop it. She had refrained from calling him "Sev" only because it was the nickname Lily had used. She figured Severus would not care to be reminded of it. However, the subtle relaxation of his features said that the name was welcome. Julia smiled slightly. "What were you going to say?"

"Nothing," he growled. "Just drop it, Julia." He sat down on the bench. Julia followed suit.

"So...am I forgiven?"

Severus crossed his arms over his chest. "Nothing to forgive," he mumbled.

Julia sighed in relief. "Good. Um..." she said nervously.

Severus glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "What?"

"What happened to Sirius?"

Severus stiffened. "He stormed off after you slammed the door," he said rigidly.

Julia nodded and said nothing more on the subject.

"What _did_ happen last night?" Severus asked suddenly.

Julia glanced at him. "I don't know," she whispered. "I just...kinda had an emotional overload I think. It was partly because of Sirius and you, but there were a lot of other things I was thinking about. I guess Sirius' insult acted as a catalyst, and my emotions just exploded. That's the best explanation I can come up with," she said, shrugging. "Hey, would you like to come back to my place and get something to eat? I'm starved." She stood up and started walking away. She expected Severus to follow her like he normally did.

"I'm sorry," mumbled Severus' voice. Julia stopped dead in her tracks and wheeled around on her heel to look at Severus. He was still on the bench, his arms crossed. He was glaring at the ground.

"Who are you? And what have you done with my friend?" Julia asked. Severus looked up at her, still glaring. "Why are you apologizing, Severus?"

Severus shifted uncomfortably and looked away from her. "If I had been a decent friend, then you wouldn't be so strained," he said.

"No, Severus," Julia said shaking her head and sitting down next to him. "It's not your fault, definitely not your fault. I let my emotions build up until I can't contain them anymore. It's always been that way. Usually it ends with me breaking down, but last night it was just a bit different. You are a great friend, Severus." He gave a derisive snort. "You are," Julia insisted. "Maybe not the perfect friend, but in my opinion, you are great." Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm serious!" Julia groaned. "Am I going to have to give you a pep talk? Bring out the cheerleader pompoms?"

Severus' face blanched. "Don't you dare," he growled.

Julia laughed. "Do you actually know what pompoms are?"

"No idea, but they sound horrifying."

"They are," Julia said with a nod. "So are you hungry or not."

"Yes," Severus said.

"Good," Julia replied, grabbing his hand, and pulling him off the bench. She didn't release it as they walked back to her apartment and Severus did not pull it away.

For a week, everything returned to normal. To Julia's disappointment, she did not see Sirius, and therefore could not apologize for her wretched behavior that had made her feel so guilty. The only slight difference was Severus' attentiveness. It was unnerving how he was constantly by her side. He was waiting outside of the market everyday when she got off work, and spent the nights on her sofa. It wouldn't be so unnerving if he actually spoke to her. Instead, he watched their surroundings like a hawk like he was expecting something. There was a growing feeling of unease in the pit of Julia's stomach

Despite her unease, Julia was content. Severus' constant company was by far the most enjoyable thing in her life, and considering he was always around, her spirits were at an all-time high. There was nothing romantic between them and Julia couldn't imagine anything romantic happening in the near future. She was slightly disheartened by this, but knowing that Severus was almost always close was enough to keep her content.

Her calm and content existence fell apart late one night when she and Severus were relaxing in the living room. Julia sat cross-legged on the chair with the coffee table pulled up close. She was playing a game of solitaire, and Severus was watching. He was dully absorbed in the game. Julia's movements were languid from exhaustion. She had decided to go to bed after the game was over. She picked up a six of hearts to put of a seven of clubs when Severus hissed and jumped up. Julia started and stared panicky at Severus. His hand gripped his left forearm tightly, and all the color drained from Julia's face.

"Go," she whispered. "Before he gets too angry."

Severus gazed at her through a haze of pain. "Stay in your flat," he growled through gritted teeth. "And don't open the door unless you are certain you know who it is."

Julia nodded stonily, unsure of what his words meant. When she nodded, Severus disapparated, leaving Julia alone to be seized with fear. It had been the first time that Severus had been summoned in her presence, and she did not like it. The pain and hidden fear in his eyes made Julia sick. Knowing where he was and what he was doing made Julia shake with fear. Who knew what could happen to him. The last time she had seen him after a meeting he was completely out of character, which unnerved her. Severus was a stubborn and strong man, and to see him so weak and pained that he couldn't move terrified her.

For over three hours, Julia sat in her armchair, staring at the cards on the table unseeingly. Horrible thoughts raced around her mind. Fortunately, because of the books, she knew he would survive. Nevertheless, he was still in danger, and Julia was scared to death for him. She leaned against the arm of the chair with her forehead resting on her palm. Her eyes were closed but she was wide awake.

It was nearing four o'clock in the morning when there was a knock on the door. Julia's eyes snapped open and she jumped up. Completely forgetting Severus' words, she rushed over to the door and opened it. The relief that had sprouted in her heart was instantly frosted over by alarm. Two men stood in her door, leering at her. Julia's blood ran cold as she recognized both men. The one with golden-blond locks was Avery and the other plain man was Evan Rosier. Both were Death Eater friends of Severus.

It took Julia only a moment to react, but it was a moment to late. Just as she moved to slam the door, Rosier pushed it back roughly sending Julia stumbling into the room. And then, her arms were pinned behind her back by Avery as Rosier looked her over. His disgusting leer made Julia shiver. Avery twisted her arms painfully, but Julia only gritted her teeth. Avery's cruel laugh made her shudder.

"Looks like we found ourselves a silent mouse, Rosier," Avery daunted.

Rosier gripped Julia's chin and turned it to the side. Julia saw him examining her from the corner of her eye. "We certainly found ourselves a plain mouse," Rosier chuckled. "Or perhaps we should credit Snape with this mouse's discovery." He released her chin. Julia glared up at Rosier. "Oh look at that! She's angry!"

Avery laughed. "Snape doesn't have the balls to know what he has in his hands," he jeered. "So who will be the first to play with the mouse?"

"I'll take her first," Rosier said. Julia's comprehension of what they were saying signaled the start of her struggling. She took Avery by surprise and was able to release her arms. She made a break for the door, but was hardly free for a second before she was grabbed by Rosier. He whipped her around and landed a fierce blow to her face. She cried out in shock and pain. A warm trickle of blood dripped from her lip and she tasted the metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

"Bastard," she hissed, her eyes narrowing at Rosier.

Rosier smiled evilly. "Look at that, Avery. Our mouse has a voice, after all."

"We'll have to see if we can make her scream before we leave," Avery replied and Julia began to tremble. She could see no way out of this, but that wasn't going to stop her from fighting.

Julia struggled violently against the grip of Rosier as he dragged her into her bedroom and flung her onto her bed. She rolled in an attempt to escape, but Rosier grabbed her. He turned her over and straddled her hips. He grasped her wrists and held them above her hands. He pulled his wand out and waved it. Her hands were secured above her head by magic. Tears started streaming down her face.

"Say a word to this to Snape, and we will see to it that he does not return," Rosier growled.

"It's probably better off if you leave entirely. It is not wise for Snape to associate with mudblood filth," Avery said from the side of the bed. Julia made no effort to correct their assumption of her blood-status. She was supposed to be half-blood, but she was in truth muggleborn. Nevertheless, Avery's words stung because they were true. Severus had been endangering himself by associating with her. Despite her hurt feelings, Julia battled against Rosier.

Her struggling was in vain, though. Over three hours later, Julia was curled up on her bed, bloody and bruised. Her face was coated with tears and blood. Loud and violent sobs racked her frame. Slowly and gingerly Julia stood up and pulled the dirty sheet around her. She walked numbly to the bathroom where she proceeded to spend an hour washing herself. No matter how hard she scrubbed, Julia could not get the feeling of them off of her. Finally giving up, Julia walked out of the steamy bathroom and collapsed onto her bed, too exhausted and numb to move anymore.

* * *

Severus groaned and opened his eyes. He was on his bedroom floor where he had collapsed after the Death Eater meeting. His body screamed in agony from the contracted muscles caused by the Cruciatus Curse. He pulled himself to sit on his bed and held his head in his hands.

His mind was running at half-pace and he could only concentrate on one thing at a time. At the moment he was fully concentrating on remaining conscious. He fell back onto the bed with a groan. He was forcefully reminded of the last time he had to recover from the Cruciatus Curse. His eyes snapped open at the thought of Julia.

"Damn," he murmured. She must be worried, and he didn't like to think of Julia worrying. She was already stressed enough. Even though she never spoke of the immense stress she was under, he could still see it in her eyes. He hated to admit that he was concerned for her, but he was. He didn't want her to be anything less than happy, and he could see that she was not.

With a moan of pain, Severus stood and walked out of his room. His new found devotion to Julia's safety made him walk out of his house and towards her flat. He was sure he looked dreadful by the looks people gave him, but he was more concerned with making it to Julia's. He knocked on her door and waited. There was no answer and no movement inside her apartment. He hadn't realized what time of day it was and realized that she was probably at work. As per usual, he went to the market to wait for Julia.

The day passed in impatience. Severus leaned against the wall outside of the market until dark. As the day progressed, the scowl on his face deepened. Finally closing came around, and the manager exited the market, locking the door behind her.

"Excuse me," Severus said stiffly, both from pain and discomfort. The woman turned around and looked at him warily. "Where is Julia?"

The woman's eyes narrowed. "She never showed up for work," she said suspiciously. "Who..." But Severus was gone. He sprinted down the street and into her apartment building. Without thinking he blasted down Julia's door and flew in like a specter. He froze and looked around the apartment in horror.

It was utterly and completely empty. There was no trace of anyone living there at all. The living room was barren of the sparse decorations that Julia had placed in the room. He rushed to the bedroom, and Severus' stomach rolled. It was as empty as the main room, except for one thing. On the empty bed was a book. In the air above the bed were glowing silver letters. They said _I'm sorry..._

Severus clutched his stomach as he walked forward to pick up the book on the bed. A strangled sound escaped his lips. The book was _Jane Eyre_. A violent shout of rage erupted from Severus' throat but was soon overcome with an anguished cry. He fell to his knees, no longer caring what happened to him. He had not realized until she was gone how much Julia meant to him. She was gone. It was his fault.

"Julia..." he whispered in a watery voice, a single tear landing on the cover of the book in his hands.

* * *

"Welcome to Blackwood High School, my dear. How can I help you?" asked a squat, kind woman behind a desk.

Julia set a folder on the desk in front of the woman. "Yes," she said solemnly, brushing her magically lightened hair from her eyes. "I would like to enroll as a junior, please."

* * *

_Author's Note: So, I know this was not a great ending to the summer, but it was necessary. Please forgive me. I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to update again. The next chapter is quite detailed as far as psychological effects are concerned. Thanks for the reviews. Keep up the great and spectacular work. Thanks for reading and I hoped you enjoyed._


	16. Bring on the Future

**Frozen**

**Chapter 15 – Bring on the Future**

Julia groaned and rolled over. She hit the alarm clock on her nightstand to silence the annoying ringing. She stared at the ceiling and rubbed her bleary eyes. It had been just over two weeks since she had moved into her new home, a lavish apartment that she had "convinced" the landlord to let her stay in. The Imperius Curse really came in handy when trying to convince Muggles.

A few minutes passed before Julia swung her legs out of bed and stood up. She shuffled around her room, grabbing a short tank-top, flannel shirt, and pair of bell bottoms. As soon as she was dressed, she washed her face and released her hair from its loose bun. It fell around her face in wavy strands. The sandy blond color still caught Julia's eyes when she walked by a mirror. She was not a fan of the color but, along with the slight alterations to her face, she was hardly recognizable to her old self.

Even though she disliked her knew appearance, it was necessary. She was thousands of miles from Hogwarts or the village, but she still couldn't help but feel nervous. She had no idea if there were any witches or wizard in the area. In addition to growing depressed during the past two weeks, Julia had became slightly paranoid. She was no where near Stalin-level paranoia, but she still looked over her shoulder when she walked down the street or whipped her head around when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.

It wasn't like Julia actually enjoyed her new attitude. The events of two weeks before seemed to have broken the fragile balance of her mind. Rather than go towards the side of numb acceptance as she had so many times before, Julia had leaned towards the side of nervousness and instability. Fortunately, she was stable enough to realize the problem. However, she did not have the strength or willpower to resolve the problem. Resolution would require her to think about and face what had happened. She had done a decent job of repressing the horrible night that she left.

The only time she was faced with any kind of details of that night was in her dreams. Screams and sobs echoed through her warded apartment. It was like those first months at Hogwarts all over again except this time the dreams were events that had actually happened. This fact only served to make the nightmares all the more horrifying.

Julia stared into the mirror for a moment more before turning away from it. She grabbed the folder on the dining room table that the secretary had given her. It had her schedule, a school handbook, and some other information. She also grabbed her journal which had served as the only comfort she had during the past two weeks.

As usual, Julia was looking forward to school, but not for her usual reasons. Instead of wanting to escape her parents, Julia wanted a distraction. School would take her mind off everything, she hoped.

The school wasn't far from her apartment. She was pushing open the large front door of the school after only ten minutes. She kept her head down and clutched her books close to her chest. Despite her depression, her true personality couldn't help but show through. Nerves were more powerful than dark thoughts apparently.

Julia pushed herself through the throngs of students and went straight to her homeroom. She lounged lazily in her chair, stretched out, looking bored. She doodled idly on the corner of the folder on her desk.

"Interesting design," said a feminine voice beside her. "Does it mean something?"

Julia turned her head to look at the girl sitting beside her. She was stunning. She had pin straight chocolaty colored hair and crystal clear green eyes. Her clothing were that of the classic seventies chick; bell-bottoms, a spaghetti strapped tank top, and a fringe vest.

When Julia didn't respond, the girl pointed toward her folder. "Well?" she inquired.

Julia looked at the folder and paled. The doodle was the Slytherin crest.

"Um...no," Julia said, smiling falsely. It convinced the girl, though because she smiled at Julia and extended a hand.

"I'm Alex, by the way," she said.

"Julia," Julia responded, shaking the girl's hand.

"You're new, right?" Alex asked. "I've never seen you in previous years."

Julia nodded. "I moved here over the summer from Pennsylvania," Julia lied. Pennsylvania would gain less attention than a European country like Scotland. She didn't need any unwanted attention.

"So you aren't too far from home?" Alex said.

Julia shook her head. "I guess not."

Alex smiled. "So, there are a bunch of us hanging out after school at David's house," she said indicating a boy at the front of the room. "Would you like to join in?"

Julia glanced at the boy and then back at Alex. She smiled apologetically. "Sorry, but I can't. I'm going job-hunting after school." She hadn't planned on getting a job, but she didn't think using the Imperius Curse to get everything she needed was a wise idea.

"That's awful. Why get a job?"

"I'm on my own," Julia responded. "I need cash."

Alex nodded, opened her mouth to respond, but a bell interrupted her. "Time for first period," she groaned.

Julia smiled, stood up, and left Alex to go to her first class. Her schedule was pretty basic. History, English, French, Algebra II, Gym, and Art. Unlike her old high school, Blackwood High had block scheduling. She only had French, English, and Gym, in that order. Like usual, the first day was boring. The teachers outlined the syllabus for each class, passed out books, and that was it. Gym was boring and moronically simple. They didn't have to change, but the teacher Coach Hayman passed out uniforms. Julia blanched at the outfits. Bright red t-shirts with Blackwood High on the front and a pair of extremely short black shorts. She was not looking forward to gym at all now.

When the final bell rang, Julia was one of the first out of the building. She walked straight home, glad to be safely back in her apartment when she opened the door. However, the moment she looked around her apartment, Julia regretted declining Alex's offer to hang out. Sitting on the windowsill was a large owl with a letter attached to his leg.

Julia reluctantly let the owl in. She knew it wouldn't go away until she took the letter. Just because she took the letter, though, didn't mean she had to read it. However, she couldn't help but glance at the parchment in her hand. The writing on the front caught her eyes. She was expecting to see Severus' snaky calligraphy. Instead, the writing was familiar from a different person. Only this person could have written something that made Julia rip open the parchment and read the parchment.

_Julia,_

_It has come to my attention through a mutual acquaintance that you have left your job at Maihle Market and vacated your home. My source has the suspicion that you left against your will or were threatened. If this is the case, I must insist that you return to Hogwarts so we may sort out some details. However, if you left of your own will, I must confess my concern for you. If this be the case, I will not insist on an explanation. Your reasons are your own. Neither will I force my presence upon you. I do truly wish that you will entrust with the information of your circumstances. I do believe, however, that one person would very much like to receive an explanation from you. Please, remember that you are not alone and have someone to turn to in myself, as well as others. _

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Ddumbledore_

The parchment in Julia's hand shook. Tears streamed down her cheeks and sobs racked her body. She didn't understand why she was so emotional. Dumbledore's letter was formal and polite. There were no emotional pleas for her return or anything that should send her into an hysterical fit. Nonetheless, the words on the paper brought sobs from her chest. Only one response made sense to her. She stumbled to her desk and pulled out some paper and a pen.

_Professor Dumbledore,_

_I assume that the mutual acquaintance you mentioned was none other than Severus. I must insist that you do not tell him I was in contact with you. My reason for leaving is simple, sir. Severus was in danger because of his association with me. While there was a catalyst to my leaving, but it is not necessary to discuss. I am physically fine and safe. Severus need not know where I am or that I have had contact with the Wizard world. It would only serve to endanger him more. As I am sure you are aware, Severus is a member of the Death Eaters. Should he know that I am in contact with you or know of my whereabouts, Severus would be distracted from his Death Eater duties and thus, be in danger. As you know, I know of Severus' future, and he will survive this. My presence only hinders him and endangers him. I only wish for him to be safe and survive. Please, sir, do not tell him I have been in contact with me. I wish him to live his life like he did before I entered his life. I appreciate your concern, sir, but it is unnecessary. I am doing fine. _

_Sincerely,_

_Julia Sellick_

Julia attached the letter to the owl's leg and it was off. Julia watched it fly away until she could no longer see it, and for almost a week, Julia could think of nothing but Dumbledore's letter. She kept imagining Severus in Dumbledore's office, desperately pleading with him. Tears sprung to her eyes every time she thought of his face. Dumbledore's letter had sent Julia spiraling into a deep abyss. She would go to school, stare numbly towards the front of the room, and then come home and sleep. Nightmares no longer made her scream. She had grown accustom to the horrible dreams.

It was during the late afternoon while she slept, that a light tap on the window woke her. Julia sprang up, eager for the first time in nearly a week. She let the owl fly in. It landed and flapped its wings to shake off the water. The stormy sky was eerie. Julia took the letter from the owl, who tucked his head in his wing to take a short nap. Julia ripped open the letter and read it with fervor.

_Julia,_

_I was pleased to hear that you are safe. However, I must insist that you return to Hogwarts. While you are of age, you are still young, and I believe it wise for you to be safe at Hogwarts. I understand your concern for Severus. It is an honorable sentiment, but he is frantic to know that you are safe. He has been to see me nearly everyday since your disappearance. His fervent attempts to find you have not waned in three weeks. I doubt they will wane anytime soon. It would do him a world of good to know you are safe. However, I will abide by your wishes, and will not mention our contact. I do wish you would change your mind, though. I will continue contact with you, Julia, for I think it is wise to keep in contact with the Wizard world. I only wish for the best for you. _

_Sincerely,_

_Albus_

Julia didn't have to think before sitting at her desk to write a response.

_Professor,_

_I understand your insistence that I return, but I cannot. At least, I cannot return yet. Someday, I will. For now, Severus is better off without me. His desperation will wane. He will eventually accept that I am gone. I would very much like for you to keep my apprised of the happenings of the Wizard world, especially the happenings of one wizard in particular. I am surviving, sir. That's about the best I can tell you. It will get better and I appreciate your concern. Thank you, sir._

_Sincerely,_

_Julia_

The owl slept until dark, and then was off. Julia spent most of the night staring at the clouded dark sky. Thunder and lightning shook and lit the sky. Her mind wandered to what Severus was doing. She wished she could see him just once, to know he was okay. She knew though that seeing him once would make it almost impossible for her to leave again. Besides she risked the chance of him seeing her.

Julia leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Severus," she whispered, a tear leaking from her eye.

* * *

_Author's Note: So, I know this chapter is a bit short, but the shorter the better whenever there is no Severus, right? Anyway, I hate writing without Severus. It makes me sad. Okay, so I need some advice. Do you want me to spend a lot of time on Julia's time in high school or would you like me to time skip through a couple years at a time. It would speed up the story, but still establish Julia's mental state and emotional state. And what do you think of Dumbledore's letters? I think it's a good way to establish the point in the Harry Potter series. Like when Severus starts teaching, James and Lily die, etc. etc. Anyway, I need some advice for the future of the story. Just so you know, if you want me to write more details about Julia's high school life, updates will take longer. I have to research the time period (1970s) because I grew up in the 90s and know nothing about the 70s. Okay, thanks for reading. Please review. _


	17. The First Few Years

**Frozen**

**Chapter 16 – The First Few Years**

Something woke Julia unexpectedly from a perfectly calm sleep. She rolled over and buried her face in her pillow with a groan. She had only gotten about three hours of sleep and ached from exhaustion. She clenched her jaw and tried to remember what woke her. Her head snapped up when she realized it had been scratching on her window that had woken her. Julia shot out of bed, getting her legs caught in the blankets, and stumbling onto the floor. Had this been any other time, Julia would have found her situation comical, but she was too eager to get to the window to laugh.

Julia finally made it to the window and let the owl in. He flew through the window and landed gently on Julia's outstretched arm. It had been nearly a year since he had first visited Julia, and the owl had grown used to her company. Julia smiled softly at him, stroked his beak, and grabbed the letter tied to his foot. The owl fluttered over to a perch that Julia had constructed for him where a small dish of water sat for his refreshment.

Julia read as she walked toward her desk.

_Julia, _

_I have some unexpected yet exciting news that I believe you would find interesting. It has come to my attention that Lily Evans and James Potter eloped only last week. Sirius Black was James' best man. According to my source, it was a small and private affair. I thought you would like to know as I know you were close with James, Sirius, and Lily. _

_I must also tell you that Severus has visited my office at least once a week this summer, asking if I had any news of your whereabouts. I highly doubt he will ever give up hope that you are out there. Therefore, I must insist that you return to the Wizard world, or at the very least, permit me to tell him that you have contacted me. On the same note, Sirius Black has been visiting recently, asking about you. Of course, I have said nothing per your request, but you must know that you are greatly missed by these two gentlemen. _

_However, I must trust that you know what is best. Of course, you know far more than I do in matters of the future. Whenever you are ready to return, though, I will be more than willing to aid you in whatever way I can. _

_Sincerely,_

_Albus_

Julia stared down at the letter. Jame and Lily were married? She was expecting it eventually, but she had no idea when. Just seeing it put down on paper was shocking. Julia's mind immediately went to Severus and how he was dealing with it. She couldn't imagine he was dealing well. As usual, the thought of Severus made her throat clench. Julia shook her head and focused on the rest of the letter.

It wasn't so different than the other letters Dumbledore sent to her. At the end of every letter, he would include a little tidbit about Severus. The only difference this time was the inclusion of Sirius. Dumbeldore had made no mention of Sirius in the past year, and hearing he was looking for her made Julia feel immensely guilty for never apologizing. She wouldn't get to apologize until he escaped from Azkaban.

As usual, Dumbledore insisted on her return or letting him inform Severus that she was contacting the Headmaster. Julia would always answer the same: no, but Dumbeldore's insistence never waned. This time would be no different.

Julia pulled out a piece of parchment and started to write.

_Albus,_ (she had been addressing him by his first name for almost six months)

_While I am not surprised to hear that Lily and James were married, I was surprised to find out they eloped. From the little I saw, Lily and James were close with their families and had many friends who would have loved to be witness to their wedding. Anyhow, I am glad to hear that they have been married. They are perfect for each other. _

_I am not surprised to hear that Severus has visited you, but I was shocked to hear that Sirius has. As usual, I must insist that you say nothing. It will all make sense in the future, but for now, that is all I can say. I do have one inquiry, though: has Severus not asked you to say nothing about his visits to ask about me? It is in Severus' nature to hide any positive qualities his actions might show. _

_I will not return for a while, though. When I do wish to return, you will be the first to know, sir. I hope all is well. _

_Sincerely,_

_Julia_

Julia allowed the owl to rest for a while. When it had flown off, Julia went to the bathroom to shower and get ready for work. She worked as a waitress at a twenty-four hour diner where she worked the graveyard shift. The tips sucked, but the job kept her awake and concentrating on something other than Severus. Because of the job, Julia's hours were off. She slept most of the afternoon and stayed up all night and most of the morning. The start of school in a few weeks was going to really mess her up.

And so it did. When she went back to school, her grades plummeted. Not to say that they were spectacular to begin with, but Julia gave her studies no effort whatsoever. She had ceased caring about her grades since she would not be attending college for quite a few years. Julia had decided to forgo her college education until she started aging again, so she could put her entire effort into her schooling. For now, she was simply going to survive. That was pretty much the most anyone could ask of her at the moment. Time had done nothing but numb the sadness and pain she was feeling. She had ceased having nightmares and no longer sobbed herself to sleep. Now, she resembled one of the walking dead.

Months passed, and Julia continued to sink deeper in a blank abyss. She was blissfully numb. The numbness was interrupted by periods of excitement and anxiety brought about by Dumbeldore's occasional letters. They served to give Julia something to live for and look forward to. The most exciting news she received in those letters were about Severus. Dumbledore revealed that Severus had made him promise not to reveal his questioning about Julia, but Dumbledore didn't think that Severus meant for that to apply to her even though Julia was sure it had. There were times when she would live only for those letters. Deep down Julia felt ashamed for her dismal actions, but she didn't have the will to care.

For the first time in her life, Julia didn't have something to work towards. Underneath the depression, she felt useless. She had always had a purpose up until this point. For most of her life she was working towards college and a career. At Hogwarts, she practiced magic and enjoyed her time living in a fictional world. Now, though, there was nothing. There was no college to work towards and magic did not appeal to her. Every time she tried to practice, she was reminded of those summer nights with Severus, and she had to stop. She hoped that it wouldn't last because she needed to practice magic. If she was going to save Sirius and Severus, then she would need to know some extensive magic.

A few weeks before summer, Julia dropped out of Blackwood High School. She didn't want to experience a graduation ceremony until she started aging again. She was saving everything for when her life was back to normal.

However, she was going to take advantage of the years of ageless-ness, and travel to all the places she had always wanted to see. She had made that decision months before and had made plans ahead of time. She was going to leave at the beginning of June and travel until the following June. A full year of travel was probably all she could handle. A year of seeing sights and experiencing places completely foreign would take their toll on her. She had decided to spend the next year traveling around the United States, starting in New England and finishing on the east coast.

And that was exactly what she did. She saw Hartford, Guilford, Litchfield, and New Haven in Connecticut. She went to Boston, Lexington, and Salem in Massachusetts, along with countless other historic towns in New England. She traveled to the South where she saw the historic southern plantations. She spent a week in New Orleans, fascinated by its unique culture. She spent weeks in the massive national parks in the eastern part of the country. She went to Hollywood, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and dozens of others. She rounded off her year long venture in the Olympic Peninsula, making sure to see Portland and Seattle.

At every stop she made, Julia had her journal out and was writing down every detail of everything she saw. She made no note of her emotions or lack thereof. Everything she wrote about and occasionally sketched would be used in the future. For what, Julia wasn't sure of, but she was sure she would use it all.

During those long months of travel, a small semblance of Julia's old self started to shine through. With a renewed sense of purpose, Julia started to feel alive again. She started to enjoy herself, and even socialized from time to time. Only a dark ring around her thoughts reminded her of what had happened and what she had lost. Many times she would find herself writing to Severus in her journal. It was at those times that her writing was at its most detailed and interesting.

Despite her refreshed mind, sleep was still evading Julia. In her dreams lay the horrible memories that would bring her back to the empty abyss that Julia was so frightened of. Being exhausted was a fair price to remain stable and sane.

If there was one thing she regretted in those months of travel, it was the loss of Dumbeldore's letters. She had informed him at the beginning of her traveling that she would be hard to contact and not to worry since she was simply traveling around the United States. Without Dumbledore's letters, Julia felt that she was more alone then ever before. Without any friendly contact for a year, Julia realized how much she did rely on people. She didn't like it one bit, and over the year, she tried to convince herself that she was happier without people without much luck.

Julia returned to a normal life in Missouri at Mark Twain High School. She enrolled as a junior again. While she didn't want to repeat high school over and over again, Julia saw no other choice. She couldn't pass for an adult; she had always looked young for her age, and even the secretary at Mark Twain High questioned her age when she said she was seventeen. Of course she could have used magic to age herself, but she already had numerous appearance altering charms on her to make her unrecognizable. Aging spells her complex and draining, too. No, it was better and easier to repeat high school even though it was mundane and taxing.

A week after moving into her new apartment, that she had honestly paid for this time, she received her first letter from Dumbledore in over a year. The relief and excitement she felt could only be matched by seeing Severus probably. It was like the owl had delivered her very life.

_Julia,_

_I trust you have returned safely from your travels. I imagine you much enjoyed the experience to see your home country. I hope someday you will relate what you have seen to me. I am greatly interested in the world, but have not had the opportunity to see as much of it as I would have liked. _

_I don't imagine this would be news to you, but James and Lily are due to have their first child in only a few short weeks. I do believe they mentioned naming him Harry, but I cannot be sure. Severus has not ceased in his unwavering efforts to inquire about you, although his visits have become farther apart, but I attribute that to Voldemort's growing trust in him. He has not told me of Voldemort's actions, but it is plain that the Dark Lord has been relying on Severus more than he has in the past. I do not wish to worry you, but I believe you were correct to believe Severus is in danger. I do not believe he is truly evil. He is merely confused, and without your sensible presence, he continues to stray down the Dark path. I must as usual insist that you return, if not for your own sake, then for Severus'. Please, Julia, remember that I want what is best for both of you, and I truly believe your return in the best course of action. I hope you are well._

_Sincerely, _

_Albus_

_Albus,_

_Of course, I am not surprised that James and Lily will be having a son, and I do believe his name is Harry. That is all that I will say, though. No one needs to bear the knowledge of the future and the pain it will bring besides myself. Telling anyone, including you, sir, would bring unfair pain to too many people._

_I must tell you that it is not fair for you to try to manipulate me into returning because of Severus' danger. He would be in greater danger if I were there. Please, sir, trust me. I know what my actions will do, and I will say this: my absence will assure Severus' safety. He is a strong man and can handle what life throws at him as long as he tries. As I have said before, I will return when the time is right. When that time will be, I am not sure. _

_Everything is well with me. I will be returning to school in a few weeks and hopefully be returning to some sense of normalcy._

_Sincerely,_

_Julia_

Julia watched the owl fly off into the night sky. When it had disappeared from sight, Julia turned away from the window and towards her new life.

* * *

_Author's Note: So, I know this wasn't the best chapter, but it was mostly filler. I'll be spending a few more chapters on Julia's time on her own. Then she will return and things will get exciting again. Once I get passed this filler stuff, things will get better, I promise. There may be a treat in the next chapter, maybe not. You'll just have to wait and read. I know, I am completely evil. _

_Thanks to the many reviewers who gave their wonderful advice. It really helped. I would love to continue to hear more feedback from everyone. It really helps me as I write. Again thank you. _

_**Cloudstrifefan: **__Julia was raped by both men, but I didn't want to describe it in detail. It would detract from the story. Severus' feelings for Julia have developed towards love but he isn't in love with her. He does deeply care about her, but he is still very attached to Lily. _

_**Rock Royalty:**__ Julia was in New Jersey. Sorry for not mentioning it before._


	18. Shocking

**Frozen**

**Chapter 17 – Shocking**

_Albus,_

_If there is one good thing to my frozen state, I am able to experience the different teenage cultures that I wish I had in my fleeting high school years. For the first time in my life, I am able to freely express myself. I no longer care about my peers' thoughts and it is refreshing! I got my first tattoo only last month, on my would-be birthday. I had always wanted one, but had never had the courage to do it. _

_Did I tell you of my plans for after this school year? I will be traveling around the United Kingdom, like I did in the United States. I am a bit concerned about being so close to Hogwarts and the center of the Wizard world, but I am sure I am well disguised enough to remain unseen. _

_How is Harry? I imagine he looks a bit like James. Lily and James surely have their hands full with a newborn boy. I do hope they are doing well. _

_Sincerely,_

_Julia_

* * *

_Julia,_

_I am deeply sorry for the long wait between letters, but there is much I must tell you. To begin with, Severus has begun teaching at Hogwarts. The circumstances of this arrangement I am sure you are aware. To that end, I am deeply sorrowful to inform you of the deaths of Lily and James, as well as the disappearance of Voldemort. Harry has gone to live with his aunt and uncle, of which I am sure you are aware. I deeply regret also having to tell you that Sirius Black has been arrested for the murder of thirteen people. Whether this is true or not, I cannot be sure. _

_Regretfully and sincerely,_

_Albus_

* * *

_Julia,_

_I am sorry for my previous letter. I did not have the opportunity to explain in detail the events of the beginning of the term. I do not expect that you need them, though. I do not wish to pain you anymore, as I am sure James and Lily's deaths and Sirius' arrest have caused you much pain. Once again, I am most sorry. _

_On a slightly less regretful note, with Severus' employment at Hogwarts, he has not ceased in questioning about your whereabouts. I must admit, though, he was quite distressed in the death of Lily. However, not a day has passed that he has not queried about you. Also, I must ask you if the book _Jane Eyre_ means anything to you or your relationship with Severus. I often see him with a worn copy of the book, but he never reads it. He merely holds it close, or stares at the cover..._

But Julia could read no more due to the tears that were welling in her eyes. They spilled over, splashing in little pools on the letter. Julia fell to her knees onto the hard floor, her body locking as violent sobs ripped from her throat. The letter fell from her fingers as her arms wrapped around her empty chest. The sobs, held back for years, were released and her body shook with violent tremors. She clutched at herself with all the strength she had, in a vain attempt to hold herself together. The pain both physical and emotional was crushing her. The empty void in her chest exploded like a firecracker and swallowed her whole, sending her into an empty abyss.

Julia came to not in her apartment, but laying on cold grass. The scent of grass assaulted her nose and brought her around quickly. She pushed herself to a sitting position, releasing her tightly wrapped arms only long enough to steady herself. The emptiness that she had succumbed to was bearable, and beyond the haze of pain, there was a vague sense of surprise. Every time she hit rock bottom and could feel nothing any longer, something always managed to come along and send her spiraling further into emptiness. There would come a time when the hollowness would be too much and she would be unable to return.

Julia shuddered at the thought and looked around at her surroundings. Her entire body locked again, but this time in shock and panic. She was laying in front of the gates of Hogwarts. She stumbled to her feet, and went closer to the gates. She stared up at the magnificent castle and the hysteria nearly overtook her again. She forced the hysterics away and stared up at the facade of the spectacular castle. She was immensely comforted by the knowledge that Severus was so close. He was only up the hill and through the doors. It would be so simple to go to him, ask him to forgive her, and for everything to return to normal, but no, she could not do that.

First of all, Severus would still be in danger, but no, he wouldn't be. Voldemort was gone. Severus was free for the time being. What was more, he was suffering from Lily's death and he needed a friend, but she couldn't return. How could she explain her appearance? Easy. Tell him the truth, but withhold the fact that she knows the future.

"No," she growled softly to herself. She could not return, but her excuses were running out. The realization that she was running away from where she most wanted to be because she was afraid of what others would think of her became an unwanted reality.

Julia turned away from the castle reluctantly and walked towards Hogsmeade. She came to rest in the sparsely populated Hog's Head. The gruff barman, who Julia vaguely recognized as Aberforth Dumbledore, took her order for Firewhiskey. She had never had alcohol, but this seemed like the perfect moment to start. The hot liquid burned her throat and stomach, but it was not an unpleasant sensation. It warmed her cold body and mind.

She continued to drink slowly, staring into the orange-red liquid, without paying any mind to the goings on around her. She was unaffected by being back in the world that she had long been away from. However, she believed that had much to do with the haze that the Firewhiskey had caused.

The scraping of the door opening did not make Julia look up, but the barman's voice did. The words sent a cold pool of icy shock from the top of her head down to her toes.

"Welcome, Professor Snape. The usual?" the gruff Aberforth inquired. Every muscle in Julia's body tensed. The glass shook in her hands and her head lifted slowly to look towards the entrance. Her heart stopped. Her eyes met the pitiless black orbs of Severus, who glared back at her with no recognition.

He was so different! and God, had she missed him! Just the sight of him had filled her hollow chest. He had aged so much and while some may have said the years had not been kind to him, Julia saw him as the image of the man she so admired for so many years before meeting him.

Seconds passed that felt like forever, and were broken by a cold retort from Severus. "What?" he snapped at her. Julia heart hammered back into beating, painfully so. Her head snapped back down, but her trembling did not dissipate. She felt him walk by her and resisted the urge to look back at him. Julia pulled out the only Wizard money she had left, a single copper Knut that she kept on her at all times for sentimental reasons. She lay in on the table and stood, suddenly aware that her Muggle clothing stood out.

Julia turned to leave but almost walked into the barman. She said a soft "Pardon me," and rushed out of the pub. She had barely stepped out of the door when a hand gripped her upper arm tightly and whipped her around. She was face to face with a livid Severus who was staring down at her, searching her face. The sight of his imploring eyes caused Julia's throat to clench and tears to well in her eyes.

"Julia?" he croaked, his voice breaking. Had this been anyone but Severus, Julia would have sworn that he was tearful. Staring into those black eyes that had haunted her dreams was more painful than all of the past five years combined. Every fiber of her soul longed to reach out, wrap her arms around him, and return to him. However, mustering her strength, Julia pulled her arms gently from his grasp.

"No," she said, adding a southern accent to her voice. "My name is Miranda. I'm sorry."

The agony that flitted into Severus' eyes lasted only for a moment, but Julia had seen it without a doubt. It was quickly covered up with a menacing look. He straightened up and strode away, back into the pub, leaving Julia alone.

Before she lost it in the street, Julia turned on the spot and walked back to the gates of Hogwarts. She stared up at the castle, attempting to think of a way to get Dumbledore's attention. She had no way of returning home, and she could not stay here especially with Severus so close. She racked her brain for something. Her eyes widened at an idea.

"Fawkes," she said loudly and clearly. She watched the castle closely, and sure enough, not a minute later, the beautiful bird soared through the sky and landed gently on her outstretched arm. "Fawkes, can you let Albus know that Julia is at the gates?"

The phoenix blinked and nodded his head. He flew off and not ten minutes passed when Albus came striding across the grounds toward the gates. Julia smiled. He was a comforting sight.

"I almost didn't believe it when Fawkes informed me that Julia was at the gates," he said with a chuckle, unlocking the gates and allowing her through.

Julia smiled, but said without preamble. "I am not here to stay, Albus. I need a way home and do not have a wand or a apparition license."

Albus looked shocked. "Let us discuss this in my office," he said, trying to lead her towards the castle.

"I don't want to go in, Albus. If I went in, I wouldn't be able to leave. Besides, there is a risk someone else may see me."

"Who else has seen you?"

"Severus," Julia said, her throat clenching. "He didn't recognize me, though, but I can't take the chance that someone else may recognize me. Will you please send me home?"

Albus sighed, obviously disliking the idea. "Of course I will, my dear, but you will have to explain how you came to be here without a wand."

"I don't know, Albus." Julia chuckled lightly. "Your letter and _Jane Eyre_ sent me into hysterics and I fainted. The next thing I know, I'm here." She shrugged.

Dumbledore looked curious, but did not question further. "Very well, Julia. I'll give you a portkey to return home. I truly wish you would stay, though, but I know you will not. You are nearly as stubborn as Severus. Anyhow, it has been wonderful to see you again, even if you look quite different." His eyes sparkled even in the darkness. He pointed to a twig. It jumped into his hand. He said, "_Portus," _and handed it to Julia. A moment later, she experienced a tug behind her navel and then, she fell onto the floor of her apartment. She crawled over to her bed, where she fell asleep instantly, exhausted by the events of the past couple hours.

The next morning, Julia withdrew from Mark Twain High School, packed her things, and moved to a city where she found herself a full-time job. She did not enroll in school, too tired of the tedious pattern. She was going to work full-time for the next few years to save some money. At least, work would fill her with some sense of usefulness.

The next two years followed a different pattern. She worked during the day, practiced magic in the evening, and slept through the night. Sleeping pills helped her stay asleep for the entire night. It became easier to practice and improve her magic. She came to adore the hours she spent practicing magic. She couldn't but imagine that Severus would be proud of her. What Severus would have done was her inspiration. She did everything to make him proud. Otherwise, she would probably sink into the abyss again.

Albus' letters were a constant reminder of what she was working towards: the survival of Severus and Sirius. His letters kept her connected to the world that had become almost fictional again. It was a weak connection, but a connection nonetheless.

After two years in Seattle, Julia quit her job, beginning to feel restless. She wanted to travel and see new things, so she did. Rather than tour the UK, Julia spent a year taking a trip down the Nile. The sights and knowledge were the most rewarding of her life, and as usual, everything was recorded in her journal, again writing as if to Severus.

This exact pattern continued until the year of her birth. In 1990, Julia decided to settle down for a while in her old hometown. For the first time, Julia assumed an alias, taking the name Jane Hollow. She enrolled as a junior, altered her appearance, and set herself up for another depression. She could not understand why she returned to the pattern that had almost killed her. She awaited the emptiness and void to return, but to utter disbelief, they didn't come. It was also in her hometown that she met Landen.

* * *

_Author's Note: I must apologize for the long wait between updates. It's the final stretch in school and I only have two weeks left. Yay! Anyway, I must also apologize for this chapter. I didn't like it one bit, but I couldn't think of a better way to write it. There is only a couple more chapter until Julia's return and I hope the Severus appearance in this chapter was enough to tide you over. Thanks to all the excellent reviews. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed even though it was bloody awful. _


	19. Landen

**Frozen**

**Chapter 18 – Landen**

Julia stared at her reflection in her bathroom mirror, turning her head from one side to another. She was attempting to find any similarity to her true appearance, but could see none. Since she was at "home", she had altered her appearance to the point that she looked like a completely different person. Looking into the mirror and seeing her new self was unnerving.

Julia's normally long brown hair was cut short, just above her shoulders. It was changed to a deep auburn color and kept pin straight. Her usually pasty skin was tanned from the hours she spent in the sun that summer. Her blue eyes had been magicked to a dark brown. Her face was lengthened and every minute detail had been changed.

So many times she had wished to look different, but staring at her reflection, Julia realized that her appearance was something that defined who she was. The stranger in the mirror was not her. It was Jane Hollow, someone Julia didn't know.

"Jane," she whispered softly. Her voice sounded odd. She had magicked it as well. After the incident with Severus she realized that her voice was too recognizable. Julia couldn't help but smile at the name "Jane". It had always annoyed her that her friends had nicknamed her Jane, but she realized that it came in handy. She responded to Jane without hesitation and it served as the perfect alias.

Julia finally turned away from the mirror and strode into her bedroom, where an outfit she had picked out the night before lay on her bed. She slid the skinny jeans over her leg, mourning the fact she couldn't wear a skirt. The wretched bruises caused by the accident that was so long ago were still visible. Even if she cast a healing charm, which she did quite often, the bruises returned a couple hours later. It was too risky to wear a skirt. She could forget to cast the spell and that would produce bad results.

She slid the emerald green, v-neck, cap-sleeved t-shirt over her head. It was long and ran no risk of riding up too far to reveal the bruises on her abdomen. She had grown used to the dull throb caused by the bruises and was no longer phased by it. Neither did she flinch whenever she accidentally bumped against the contusions. It was as if the numbness in her heart had spread to her skin.

Julia snapped a black cuff bracelet on her left wrist to cover the small Slytherin crest that was tattooed there. The Slytherin crest had been her second tattoo. Her first was two serpents in the shape of the letter "S" on her right shoulder. She had longed to have tattoos since she was a young teenager. She always thought they were the perfect way to represent a passion she had. Her intention was to have at least five small ones by the time she started aging again. Julia made sure to put them in places where they could be easily hidden. It would be difficult to explain the Slytherin symbol or the initials on her back.

She tied her black Converse lowtops on her feet. Julia was aware that heels would probably be more appropriate with her outfit, but she had never worn heels. She was always in tennis shoes or flats. In other words, Julia always wore shoes that made running easier. She was always prepared for an attack. Years of being left on her own had done nothing to calm her fear or paranoia that at any moment Death Eaters or some other danger would be upon her.

As soon as she was done getting dressed, Julia grabbed a plain black purse that held her money, ID, and wand. While she rarely used it, Julia felt so much safer having her wand nearby. Her magical powers and knowledge had increased exponentially since she had moved to her hometown. She spent most of the time she should have been doing schoolwork on practicing magic.

Ever since she had started reading about dueling, she longed to try it out. She wanted to learn to fight against Dark wizards. It was essential! To assure Severus survived, Julia would have to fight for him. The thought made her smile slightly.

Julia locked her door swiftly the moment she closed it behind her. It was a pointless move actually, since a Muggle lock would be no obstacle for a Wizard. Julia had just tucked her key safely in her pocket when a tight arm wrapped around her neck and another snaked around her waist. Her heart spiked in panic and instinct took over. Julia balanced herself, spreading her feet apart to shoulder width. She grabbed the hand that was around her waist and yanked back on it hard. She did the same to the arm around her neck. The grip around her loosened, but she was still held tightly. In one quick movement, Julia kicked backward, nailing whoever was holding her in the groin. The person holding her gasped, and loosened their grip on her enough for her to ripped the thumbs on both back to release her from their grasp.

She whipped around to look at her attacker and laughed.

"Landen! You ridiculous bastard! What the hell were you thinking?" Julia reached out a hand to Landen who had fallen to one knee and was breathing deeply. After a moment, he looked up shaking his chestnut hair out of his face. He smiled, revealing his bright white teeth. He pushed himself to his feet.

"Testing you. You passed with flying colors," he said, shaking his hands. "You have really improved. Your strength has increased incredibly."

Julia beamed up at him. "Thanks," she said. "But I can't take all the credit. I had an amazing teacher." Julia gazed at her self-defense teacher. Not long after coming to her hometown, she had decided to start taking self-defense classes. It had not occurred to her until she saw a sign for classes on a bulletin board at the local park. She ended up in Landen's class, and quickly impressed the tutor.

Julia had never thought herself an athletic person, but she found she enjoyed practicing self-defense. She had asked Landen for advice to improve her skills. He had told her to lift weights to improve her strength, which had been pathetically weak. She joined the recreational center for the college and followed his advice, often times meeting up with him at the rec center to lift.

It wasn't long after that they started meeting up outside of the gym. They went to lunch, saw movies together, and just enjoyed being in each others company. Julia vaguely recognized that Landen was quickly becoming more to her than she ever hoped or wanted. She was starting to like him, perhaps not in a romantic sense, but nonetheless, she was becoming attached.

Many times when they were watching movies at his or her place, Julia would realize how similar it was to spending time with Severus. Of course, Julia never reacted the same to Landen that she had with Severus, but she still enjoyed his company. Deep down, she was feeling guilty for betraying Severus and for leading Landen on. It wasn't fair to him because their friendship could never evolve to anything more. It made her sad whenever she saw the admiring look Landen would give her whenever they practiced.

He liked her, in a more than friendly way. She didn't need Legilimency to know it, and somewhere is the deepest, darkest, most hidden part of her heart, Julia liked him too. It was the hardest thing Julia had ever come to realize. The idea that she was betraying Severus was constantly on her mind after that. She still missed Severus more than anything, but since Landen had come into her life, some of the loneliness had subsided.

"So," Landen said. "Are you ready for the movie?"

Julia nodded, following him toward the elevator. "What are we seeing?"

"I was thinking either 'Dances with Wolves' or 'Home Alone'." They stopped at the elevator doors.

Julia looked at Landen for a moment, and then they both grinned. At the same time, nodding fervently, they said, "Home Alone!"

It wasn't hard for Julia to relax around Landen. She was able to be herself around him. She only wished she could tell him the truth because she hated lying to him. She wanted him to call her by her real name. She wished he could see what she really looked like. The idea that he liked a lie was hard for her to deal with, so she tried to be as true to her real self as possible when she was around him.

Landen had accepted her bookish nature warmly. He did not seem to mind the hours she spent on homework or writing. He enjoyed watching her, actually. She liked to have her around when she studied or wrote because she could talk with him about school and other stuff. He understood her dislike of socializing and related. He had not been popular in school, which Julia found hard to believe.

With his amazing physique and handsome face, he was exactly like the jocks she so loathed in high school. However, he hadn't always been that way. It was during college that he had decided to change everything. He started working out and taking martial arts classes. When he had finished school, he decided to stay and offer classes to teach self-defense.

Julia was pleasantly surprised when she learned that Landen loved reading. He wasn't much of a writer though. He preferred reading, and while their tastes in literature differed (Landen preferred science fiction and fantasy while Julia preferred Romance and Classics), they had plenty to discuss. They both forced their tastes on the other, many times against their wills. It was symbiotic. Landen would give Julia a book she wouldn't normally read, and Julia would do the same.

To Julia's surprise, Landen had no issue with her age. The first time she informed him that she was seventeen, he seemed shocked, but he quickly moved on. Julia suspected that the only thing preventing him from showing more romantic interest was her age. The moment she "turned" eighteen, Julia had the feeling he would start "courting" her so to speak. It made Julia incredibly nervous, yet excited. She had never had any kind of attention from a guy before. She couldn't exactly call how Severus treated her romantic interest. Sirius had just been a flirt, but Landen's attention was something different. And, despite her feelings for Severus, which had not waned in the years they had been separated, Julia enjoyed Landen's constant attention.

From November until June, Landen kept a respectful distance. He was nothing more than her best friend. They went to movies and hung out at each others places. All of it was very similar to what Julia had with Severus. Julia was struck with the idea one time that maybe she was Landen's Severus so to speak. He had feelings for her that would never be returned and Julia was overwhelmed by sadness and guilt. Sadness because she knew Severus could never love her as she loved him, and guilt because she knew that she could never have anything more than friendship with Landen. Yet, she could not bring herself to end their friendship.

She had gained in the last few months what she never thought she could have again: a real friend. She hadn't realized how much she loved having a friend until she lost and found one. As usual, her essentially selfish self overpowered her weak selfless person. She couldn't handle the pain that would surely come from ending it with Landen.

As she predicted, everything changed when she turned "18". Landen, being the great friend he was, had prepared an amazing evening: a movie night. He picked her up in the late afternoon and took Julia to his place where he had set up a whole array of movies plus popcorn, boxes of candy, and soda. Julia had never been given such an amazing birthday gift.

She turned to Landen. "This is amazing!" she cried, throwing her arms around his neck. He laughed and swung her around. A warm bubbling feeling simmered in the pit of Julia's stomach at the contact. It wasn't like when they fought in lessons. It was completely different. Like a wonderful, sweet potion warming in her stomach. The thought of potions made the feeling vanish as quickly as it had come, and she released Landen. It was hard to cover up the sadness she was feeling, but she managed. She hoped that Landen hadn't noticed anything, and since he continued on with her birthday gift without hesitation, she assumed he hadn't.

"What are we watching?" Julia asked.

Landen picked up a pile of videos and started saying the titles. "_Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Sound of Music, _and _Diehard_." He smiled wider on the last title.

"Such a sacrifice," Julia said sarcastically. "You only like one out those four."

"Yes," Landen said, pushing _Casablanca_ into the VCR and sitting next to her on the sofa. "But they are your favorites, and it is your birthday. It's a sacrifice I am willing to make."

"Aww," Julia joked. "You're so sweet." She turned to the television screen, grinning widely. It was well into the early morning when they finished _Diehard_. As usual, Julia's eyes spilled tears as she watched Hand Gruber fall to his death. Landen could never understand her interest in the villain of the film, and Julia was not about to explain. As the credits rolled across the screen, Julia turned to Landen. "What's the other one on the table?" she asked, indicating the one video he didn't mention.

"_Grease,_" he said. "I just thought that five movies would be too many. I figured you would be too tired to watch another."

"You figured wrong," Julia said with a smile. "Put it in." He did, but he had figured right. It wasn't halfway through the film that she nodded off, her head resting lightly on Landen's shoulder. The next thing she knew Landen was gently shaking her awake, the credits of _Grease_ running across the screen.

"Mmhmm?" Julia mumbled unintelligibly.

"C'mon, birthday girl," Landen said, gently pulling her arm around his neck and sliding an arm under her leg to lift her gently. Julia vaguely comprehended that she was being carried. A soft vibrating surrounded her for a few moments and then she faded into oblivion again. The next thing she knew, Julia was being lifted again and carried through somewhere.

"Are you awake, Jane?" Landen asked. "Can I set you down so you can open up your apartment?"

Julia nodded, but Landen had to hold onto her as she unlocked her door. He half carried her into her apartment and sat her on the sofa. It took a while, but she slowly gained consciousness. When she had, Landen was still beside her on the sofa. "Are you awake now?" he asked.

She nodded, stifling a yawn.

"Good. I didn't want to leave you half asleep."

"Thanks," Julia said tiredly.

Landen nodded and stood. Julia followed, unsteady on her feet. Landen steadied her, smiling. "Why do you exhaust yourself?"

Julia looked at him, her brow furrowing. She went to respond, but he said, "Never mind. You can tell me some other time. For now, please get some sleep." He stepped closer, his hazel eyes boring into hers. That same simmering in her stomach flamed again. His face was close to hers. She could smell his aftershave and it was extremely pleasant. Julia blinked blearily and smiled at Landen.

A moment later, his soft lips brushed lightly against hers. The simmering came to a boil in Julia's stomach and reached out to her fingers and toes. Julia was unable to react for a moment, but by the time she had any sense to make a move, Landen had pulled away, smiling down at her.

"Happy Birthday, Jane," he said, touching her cheek gently before leaving behind a stunned Julia.

* * *

_Author's Note: I am terribly sorry for the long wait between updates. I feel truly guilty, but the good news is that school is done. I have all summer to work on _Frozen_. I must also say that this chapter is an actual birthday present cause today is my 18th birthday! Yip-EEE!!! I'm finally legal! Enough celebrating though. Thanks for reading and please review. Also, thanks to all who review. It may not seem like it sometimes but I truly appreciate and love everything my readers have to say. So thank you so very much. _


	20. Sphinx

**Frozen**

**Chapter 19 – Sphinx**

It wasn't long after her birthday that Julia received a letter from Albus informing her that Harry was to begin Hogwarts in the fall. The news wasn't a surprise for Julia who knew that Harry would be beginning at Hogwarts, but it was unexpected. It had not felt like fourteen years had passed since she left Hogwarts, but as she examined the years in her head, it had been that long. In this letter, Dumbledore implored for her to return, insisting that her presence would be more than welcome in the castle.

The offer was more than tempting for Julia who longed to be back in the Wizarding World, but she knew that she couldn't go back yet. She wouldn't be able to sit aside and watch as Harry struggled through the years. Besides, she was not ready to face Severus yet.

Anyway, her life was good, and she was not ready to give it up. Landen had been making his intentions clear, but had been keeping a respectful distance. The only signs of his feelings were the occasional caress of her cheek, touch of his hand on hers, or very rarely a chaste kiss. Julia wasn't sure what to make of any of it. What she had seen of relationships in high school was completely different, yet she believed nowhere near as exciting as the subtle affections Landen showed her. By no means was she falling in love with him, but she did enjoy the attention he was giving her.

While she was happy with his affection, Julia was at the same time overwhelmed by guilt and sadness. More than once she found herself wishing that it was Severus that was holding her hand or kissing her cheek or forehead. Because of the pain it caused her, Julia was cautious with the affection she showed Landen. Anytime she returned his kisses or held him too long, Julia would be overcome with betrayal and guilt.

Julia told Landen that she had had a previous bad relationship that made physical affection difficult for her. She never actually told him about the rape, but it was plainly hinted at. When Landen had understood what she was saying, he never brought the subject of physical affection again, but as more time passed, Julia could sense his growing impatience.

She never spent too much dwelling on Landen's impatience because she was receiving constant letters from Albus explaining the events of Harry's first, second, and third years. With each letter came the renewed realization that she must return soon and she must start thinking about the rescue of Sirius and Severus again. The impending years of perpetual adolescence were slowly dwindling away. She only had a couple years before she must actually put her vague plans into action, and it terrified her.

Despite her wishful thinking, her Muggle life continued on. She finished high school for the third or fourth time (she had lost count), but still skipped graduation. She took a full-time job in town, refusing to attend college until she was aging again. As the months passed, the primary spot that Landen had once held became overshadowed by her constant magical practice. She would spend hours in her apartment, locked her room, and practicing spells on a dummy she had magicked to act like a real opponent.

In the summer of 1993, Albus sent along a letter that told Julia of Sirius' escape. The joy she felt for his freedom was marred only by the guilt she had from their last meeting. What she wouldn't give to go back and apologize. She just hoped he would forgive her after so many years.

"What are you smiling about?" Landen asked.

Julia's smile slipped off her face. She had been imagining seeing Sirius for the first time. She could imagine the wild grin and great bear hug he'd give her, and Remus would be there, smiling. The only people missing were James and Lily, who Julia was sure would be there in spirit.

"Nothing, I was just thinking." Julia responded, a slight sharp ring to her voice. She looked back at the notebook on the table where she was copying spells from memory.

"What's this you're writing?" Landen asked, attempting to take the notebook, but Julia snatched it away.

"It's nothing," she snapped, her eyes blazing.

Landen's eyebrows lifted and he looked angry. Julia breathed deeply and ran a hand over her face. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't sleep well last night."

"What else is new?" Landen mumbled before standing and leaving without a goodbye.

Julia glared at the door he had just walked out of. She did not need to deal with Landen's attitude. If he had a problem, he should just leave. She wasn't asking him to stay. It was HIS choice.

And yet, he continued to come back. Julia could not understand why he did. She continued to push him away and avoid his attention. No matter how much she distanced herself, he was still there. In a way, it was romantic and sweet. He obviously loved her, but Julia had made it perfectly plain that she could not love him. He was insistent, though.

The following summer, Julia received another letter bearing the news that the Triwizard Tournament would be held at Hogwarts. Julia's stomach turned at those words because she knew what would follow in a few months. Harry would be a fourth competitor, Voldemort had returned, and the Order had been reinstated. As usual there was something about Severus, but this time Dumbledore went farther.

_I am sure it come as no surprise, but Severus has been to see me. His inquiries have not wavered despite a growing look of hopelessness. I believe a part of him has given up hope of finding you ever since he believed he found you those years ago. I must insist for his sake that you come home. I assure you that the castle is perfectly capable of accommodating one more guest. _

This offer offer was more tempting than any other. With so many additional people in the castle, Julia could easily blend in without Severus noticing. She knew she was trying to hide from him. After sixteen years, how could he forgive her? No matter how close they once were, the years had hardened him against her. She could not face his rejection, not yet.

And, Julia was right. Only a couple months later she received a letter informing her that Harry had been chosen as Hogwarts' second champion with an equally tempting plea to return. She yet again refused the offer, assuring that she would be returning soon. After his letter about the Tournament, Julia tried to remember the details of Harry's fourth year, but they were fuzzy. The years of monotonous drudgery without the books had caused her to forget a lot of the details of the series.

The moment she realized this, Julia had been sent into a panic. She needed to remember every detail of the next three years the best she could, but to her relief, many of the details of the last three years were pretty clear. She spent the next few months writing down everything she could think of in addition to practicing more and more magic. She had became quite proficient at non-verbal spells and was quickly becoming what she hoped to be a master dueler.

Months passed. The next letter Julia received was the one she was most dreading. Lord Voldemort had returned, Severus was recalled to Death Eater duty, and the Order of the Phoenix was being called into action. Dumbledore implored for her to return, insisting that Severus needed her more than ever, and Julia knew he was right. Even if Severus would die before admitting it, he needed a friend who would be able to lighten the burden he was feeling.

The letter couldn't have come at a better time for her. Julia had been growing increasingly restless over the past months. She needed some kind of change. She was bored with the same routine day after day.

It wasn't long after the letter that the change finally came. Her full-time job had been at Landen's self-defense school where she helped teach self-defense and offered yoga classes. It was only during work that she saw Landen anymore. He was still as attentive as ever, but he kept his distance from her outside of the school. Julia had been holed up in her apartment during all hours not occupied with work and very often did not answer his frequent knocks on her door.

They were just cleaning up and gathering their things before closing when Julia resolved herself. She had been dreading this moment for weeks. "Listen, Landen, I think that I might be leaving soon."

Exactly as Julia had expected, the bag in Landen's hands fell to the floor. He looked stunned and hurt, and Julia had to turn away. "What do you mean leaving?"

"I'm sorry, Landen. I just need a change. I can't stand doing the same thing day after day. I'm restless. I've spent more time in this town than I have anywhere else, and I can't stand it. I am sorry, Landen," she said, pleading with him to understand.

Landen looked at her fiercely. "So you're just going to leave me, just like that?" he snapped his fingers.

"No," she snapped. "I'm telling you ahead of time, so you know it's coming. I won't just up and leave. This is not about you Landen!"

"The hell it isn't! Don't pretend that you have been ignoring me or pushing me away! I don't know what I did, but no matter how hard you try, I will still love you."

"Damn it, Landen! You shouldn't love me! I don't have anything left inside of me to love. You need and deserve someone with a whole heart that can be yours completely, but that is not me!" Julia's angry voice had become pained.

"But I want you," Landen said defiantly.

"No, you don't," Julia said softly. "You don't know anything about me. If you did, you wouldn't be able to stand the sight of me." Julia looked away, bitter tears coming to her eyes.

"I know you've been hurt before. If you would just let me in, I could help heal the pain. I'm here. Why can't you see it?"

"You don't know the half of it," she mumbled. She sighed. "Listen, I didn't want to get into this with you tonight. I only wanted to tell you that I will be leaving soon. I will give you my two-weeks notice when I know for sure." She turned away to finish putting her tennis shoes and clothes into her bag.

Landen was silent for a few moments, but finally said coldly, "Fine." His tone made her flinch, but she didn't look at him as she followed him out of the park complex. They walked in silence, neither looking at each other. Julia could feel the anger and pain radiating from Landen. She just wanted to get away, but just as she turned to walk towards her apartment building, she felt something in the air.

Maybe it was because she had been separated from magic for so long or maybe it was just a skill she had, but she could sense some kind of magical energy in the air. It was nothing like her own magic that filled her heart with a feeling of pride and hope. This was a cold chill that made her bones ache.

"Landen!" she cried, running towards him and whipping her wand from under her sleeve. Landen stopped walking towards his car, and looked at her with what she thought was hope. Julia could only feel heartbreak for a moment, before she felt a ball of that cold magic speeding towards them. She grabbed Landen's arm and pushed him down, as she flicked her wand, thinking _Protego, _and a shield surrounded her and Landen.

The shield faded away quickly, but no more spells came at her. Instead, a cackling laugh came from the darkness that sent Julia into tremors. The laugh was from her worst nightmare. She searched for the face, praying not to see it come out of the darkness, but her prayer was not answered. Moments later, the face and form of Avery stepped from the dark gloom.

Julia's entire body recoiled and her stomach turned. Bile rose in her throat as she was forced to remember his brutal attack so many years ago. Julia's eyes were glued in horror to the face that had so long haunted her dreams, and made peaceful sleep impossible. There was no fear, though, only hatred and horror. She wanted to make him suffer for what he did to her. She wanted to see him writhe in agony. The man who had forced her to separate from Severus was in front of her, and he was about to pay.

Avery flicked his wand unexpectedly, and before Julia could raise her wand, a gust of magical air blasted by her. She felt the magical charms she had placed on her appearance slip away. If it hadn't been for Landen's horrified gasp, Julia would have forgotten him, but she did not take her eyes away from Avery. An malicious smirk appeared on his face.

"Well, if it isn't my little mouse. You haven't changed a bit," he sneered.

The sound of his voice sent violent shivers down her spine and caused the bile to rise in her throat, but she ignored it. "Where's your partner, Avery?" she snapped, her lips curling at his name. She knew Rosier was dead, and it gave her some comfort. She only wished she could have been the one to finish him off. One out of two would do, though.

Avery sneered. "Dead," he said carelessly. "He wasn't smart enough to keep of the Aurors tail."

Julia laughed without humor. "And you were?"

"Clearly." His smiled widened. "And so was your precious Snape. I'm sure he would never say but your disappearance destroyed him. Most of the us could see his wavering loyalty, but when you disappeared, it was very clear that he had no interest in the Light any longer. I'm sure the Dark Lord would like to thank you for that."

Julia's lips curled into a grimace. "I'm sure he would, but he'll have to wait until hell freezes over for me to join. Besides, what would the Dark Lord want with a Mudblood like me?"

Avery shrugged, twirling his wand between his fingers. "I believe he is just curious how a Mudblood could possibly remain hidden for almost seventeen years without detection."

"Have you been looking for me for seventeen years then?"

Avery laughed. "Of course not. Only since the Dark Lord returned. It wasn't difficult. I simply searched any place with excessive magical presence that is not known as a wizard dwelling. There aren't many. I was lucky actually. This was only my fifth search."

"And what do you intend to do now that you have found me?" Julia asked, not caring much for the answer. She was simply biding her time, making it seem like she didn't want to fight. Avery would be lulled into a false sense of security.

"Take you to the Dark Lord. That's what he's ordered."

Julia laughed sardonically. "You're clueless, Avery. He has no interest in me. Why would he? I'm just a wretched Mudblood. He just wanted to get you out of the way. You must really be a screw-up for him to send you on a pointless mission."

Avery's eyes flashed. She could sense his temper coming close to it's peak. It wouldn't be long before he would attack. "If I was useless to the Dark Lord, he would just kill me. He doesn't waste his time with pointless missions."

"I suppose," Julia said not really caring. The grip on her wand at her side tightened. "But it doesn't matter either way since you will fail."

"Is that so?" Avery said, lifting an eyebrow. And then he shouted, "_Stupefy!"_

Julia silently raised a shield. The stunning spell hit the shield and ricocheted backward. It hit Avery square in the abdomen. He fell backwards onto the pavement with a resounding crack.

"_Accio wand!" _Avery's wand jumped into her hand. She walked slowly over to his stiff body, her entire form shaking. Hatred and disgust radiated from every inch of her. "_Renneverate," _whispered. Her wand remained pointed over Avery's chest, where his heart would be had he had one. As soon as he had regained consciousness, Julia spoke. "You took everything from me," she said in a low and dangerous voice. "My best friend, my life, my happiness, and my virginity. Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you now!" She pressed the tip of her wand against his throat.

"Because you wouldn't want the only thing he remembers of you to be killing someone." His eyes flicked behind Julia, who didn't look away but knew he was looking at Landen. He was still back there she was sure because she hadn't heard his retreating footsteps. "Besides, you don't have the guts to use an Unforgivable Curse."

Julia smirked. "Do you want to bet on that? _Imperio," _she said without pause. Avery stood. "You will forget you saw me and continue on your mission as if this night never happened."

Avery's blank eyes blinked and he nodded. Julia handed him is wand reluctantly, but knew that this was the better thing to do than kill him. Avery apparated away with a crack. The vengeful part of Julia screamed with fury, but the sensible part knew she had done the right thing. "For once I want to do the wrong thing," she mumbled to herself, brushing her hair out of her face. She turned around and froze. Landen was staring blankly at her.

"Damn," she muttered. She was so emotionally spent that she felt nothing as she walked towards a stunned Landen. She knew she had to modify his memory, and there was no use wasting time. "_Obliviate_," she said clearly. She wiped his memory of what happened in the past hour. His eyes lost focused then cleared.

"Who are you? Where's Jane?"

Julia had forgotten her appearance, but she knew it didn't matter. "_Imperio," _she said. Landen's eyes lost focus again. "Jane left to travel for the summer, and will not be returning. You will go on like she never existed." Her voice was emotionless and tired. Landen's blank face nodded and he walked away without a look back. Julia turned and walked away without a looking back too.

Her mind and body were numb as she walked like a zombie back to her apartment. She mindlessly waved her wand and her possessions started packing themselves. She would withdraw all her savings from her account first thing the next day. For now there was only one thing left to do before she could rest. Summoning every ounce of strength she had, she thought of Severus, and said "_Expecto Patronum!" _Her Patronus burst from her wand and landed lightly in front of her. Julia whispered softly and then the great creature soared out of the window. As soon as it was gone, Julia collapsed onto her bed.

* * *

Albus was sitting at his desk reading the Daily Prophet. He shook is head at the contents when Fawkes let out a soft cry. Albus set the paper down on the desk and looked at the phoenix. He was looking out of the window. Moments later a great silver sphinx soared into the office. The creatures human face was smiling and its mouth opened.

"I'm coming home," she said in the voice of Julia. Fawkes sang a cry again. Albus smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Finally," he said quietly, watching the Patronus fade from sight.

* * *

_Author's Note: I thought it was time to bring Julia home. What do you think? The next chapter will be full of Severus, which I'm sure will make everyone happy. Thanks for reading and please review. Hope you enjoyed. _


	21. Warm Welcome

_**Author's Note: My deepest and most sincere apology. Believe it or not, I have been writing continuously for two months, but about halfway through chapter 24, I hit a roadblock. So, I went back and reread the entire story, and when I came upon chapter 20, I noticed a very noticeable split from what I had wanted with the story. Therefore, I had to go back and rewrite chapters 20, 21, 22, and 23. I am in extreme edit mode right now, so I do not know when chapter 21 will be put up. Know that the reason for my long absence was this error in my judgment of where I wanted the story to go. I do hope that I will not be gone for so long in the future. Enjoy the chapter. See you next year. **_

* * *

**Frozen**

**Chapter 20 – Warm Welcome**

Julia drummed her fingers on the desk and she gazed moodily out of the window. She could not understand how three days could feel longer than the past seventeen years. She pushed herself away from the desk and started pacing around the room. She had been stuck inside this wretched room for three days with no company besides her own mind, which at this time was not comforting. She had little do think on except for the conversation with Dumbledore upon her return.

Albus had been waiting for her at the gates of Hogwarts. She had been dropped off in Hogsmeade by the Knight Bus. The smile on his face was as warm a welcome as the sight of the great castle behind him. Her heart had swelled in her chest at the sight of the beautiful castle.

"Welcome back," Albus had said, opening the gate to her.

Julia paused at the entrance. "Is he here?" she had asked softly.

Albus chuckled softly. "No, he is staying at Spinner's End."

Julia had followed in silence after that. They had not spoken until they were in his office.

"Well, Julia, I must say I am overjoyed to have you back," Dumbledore said after taking a seat behind his desk.

Julia smiled. She looked around the office fondly. "It's good to be back."

"I am sure the reason for your return is Voldemort's rise to power."

She nodded. "Of course. I figured the Order could use another member."

Dumbledore frowned. "I had another possible position for you."

Julia's quirked her eyebrows. "What do you mean, Albus?"

"When you informed me of your return, I assumed that you would want to be part of the resistance against Voldemort. With your frozen state, the perfect place for you would be to return to Hogwarts as a fifth year to be a close source to the happenings within the school."

"Aren't there professors in the Order, sir? Couldn't they keep an eye on "the happenings within the school"?" Julia wasn't sure what Dumbledore was getting at, but she didn't like it. Why on earth was he so insistent that she return to Hogwarts?

"Yes," Dumbledore responded. "There are professors in the Order, but none of them could become close enough with the students to determine their feelings toward the war, and possibly persuade them to our cause."

Julia lifted an eyebrow. "In other words, you want a spy within Hogwarts." Her tone was not accusing; it was amused. Of all the schemes! The position appealed to Julia. Not only would she be back at Hogwarts, where she had longed to be, but she would also be around Severus and possibly Harry and his gang. It was Severus that she longed to see, even if she had already decided on her way back not to tell Severus that she was back…yet.

Dumbledore smiled. "You have always had remarkable abilities of perception. Are you interested in returning to your old school, then?"

Julia's electric blue eyes stared at Dumbledore pensively. "Of course," she said slowly, thoughtfully. "But there are a few conditions. One: I want to be in Hufflepuff. Two: I wish to be called Jane Rochester. Three: I cannot in anyway associate with Harry. And four: No one can know I have returned."

Dumbledore remained calm through her demands, but he frowned when she had finished. "But, my dear, I thought with your return, your old friends could know that you are alive and safe."

Julia sighed. "Alright. Let me amend that: only _he _cannot know I am back."

"Why?" was the simple and direct response.

"I can't face him yet," she said, her head hanging low in shame of her cowardice. With a surge of conviction, she looked up at him, her eyes crackling with energy. "It's the only way I will return, sir."

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair to look at her with a similar pensive gaze that she had looked at him with only moments before. "You will tell him eventually, correct?"

Julia nodded. "Eventually, but I wish to be the one to choose when and where."

Dumbledore sighed. "Very well, my dear, but I must tell you that I think this is a bad idea."

A rush of annoyance shot through her. "Do not think I am taking what I am choosing to do lightly, sir." Her voice was steely and her eyes sparkled with irritation.

Dumbledore acted as if he hadn't noticed her cold tone. "There are a couple other things that need to be sorted out. I will, of course, inform Professor Sprout that a fifth year will be joining her house at the start of term. Will you be altering your appearance as you have done in the past?"

Julia nodded, still tense from her upset moments before. "Yes, I will make myself unrecognizable," was her stiff reply.

Dumbledore nodded. "Now, all that needs sorting is your accommodations. You are, of course, welcome to stay in the castle, but there is a slight risk that you would be recognized unless you were willing to remain in the same room for the duration of your stay." Julia shook her head. Dumbledore smiled. "I thought not. I will arrange for you to take up lodging at the Three Broomsticks until the start of term, if that is good with you?"

"That's fine, sir." She readied herself to leave but was stopped by Dumbledore's next question.

"What of your other friends?"

"I…I…" Julia's stuttering was cut short by the Headmaster.

"You said only Severus" – Julia winced – "could not know of your return. I am certain Sirius and Remus would be overjoyed to know you are back."

Julia hesitated. Dumbledore had trapped her in her own terms. Damn him, the old meddling fool! With a heavy, resigned sigh, Julia said, "Fine. I will tell them."

"Wonderful," he said, clapping his hands together jovially. "I will send a note along whenever a meeting can be arranged."

Julia nodded stonily. "Thank you, sir."

"It will be some time before you will be able to move into the Three Broomsticks. You are welcome to wait here, if you would like."

"Would it be okay if I go to Diagon Alley? I need to exchange my money and pick up a few things."

"Of course. You may use my fireplace to Floo there. Would you like a Portkey to return by?"

"That won't be necessary. I can take the Knight Bus back to Hogsmeade." She picked up her bag and stood up. "Thank you, sir."

"Welcome back, Julia."

Julia smiled faintly and took a pinch of Floo Powder. She said loudly and clearly "Diagon Alley!" and then she was spinning like she was on a carnival ride. She had never fared well on such rides, and she wasn't faring well now. Then, she was standing, albeit unsteadily but standing nonetheless, on solid ground. People were bustling around her and the sweet and familiar smell of books assailed her nose.

Regretfully, she had to leave Flourish and Blotts since she only had Muggle money. She pushed her way through the crowds in the alley toward the monstrous white building that was Gringotts. Once inside, Julia went to a free goblin behind the long counter. He looked up at her expectantly.

"Can you exchange Muggle American money?" Julia asked kindly.

The goblin nodded and Julia handed over half of her savings, which was a respectable amount. She had been saving for seventeen years, having few expenses besides her living expenses, food, etc. the money added up so she could live comfortably now.

Once she had her money, Julia went to Flourish and Blotts where she searched through the stacks and shelves of books for anything interesting. There wasn't much that caught her attention. There were a few volumes that she paused at and flipped through, but nothing worth buying, until she came upon _Advanced Potion-Making_.

As she held the book in her hands, she had a vivid flashback of lying in her bedroom in America in 2005 reading the _Half-Blood Prince_. Julia was surprised by the clarity of the vision; the memories of her old life had been progressively growing dimmer with time.

She gathered the textbook close to her and proceeded through the store, looking for anything else of interest. By the end of her time in the bookshop she bought, along with _Defensive Magical Theory, The Standard Book of Spells, Year 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5, Magical Theory, Magical Drafts and Potions, One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, A History of Magic, Intermediate Transfiguration, Advanced Transfiguration, Ancient Runes Made Easy, _and _Home Life and Social Habits of British Muggles._ Basically, she bought every book needed to be a Hogwarts fifth year, a detail that did not go unnoticed by the manager of Flourish and Blotts.

He had paused on _Advanced Potion-Making._ "This is a sixth year book, you know?"

Julia nodded. "I know," she responded. "I have an interest in potion-making and would like to get a head start."

The manager did not question her after that, perhaps thinking she was a little mad for _wanting_ to do schoolwork during the summer. She ignored him, paid for the books, and left the shop, making her way toward the Magical Menagerie, passing Madam Malkin's as she went. She had a deep desire to buy new robes, but the ones she had from seventeen years before still fit her fine and looked new. She hadn't changed much, or at all, in the last seventeen years.

She would rather have a new pet, a companion that had to listen to her insane ranting. She doubted a cat or owl would pay much attention to her constant fuming, but she would feel better if she think she was talking to herself. When she stepped into the animal shop, Julia instinctively wrinkled her nose against the smell, but as she walked along the shelves, peering into cages, she became less preoccupied with the smell and more fixated upon the creatures that stared back at her.

Julia was brought to an abrupt halt when she caught sight of a pair of sparkling blue eyes almost identical to her own. As she gazed in the pools of electric energy, she could sense intelligence and regal bearing within their depths. Her eyes momentarily strayed from the hypnotizing stare to look at the tag on the cage. _Unnamed male lilac-point Balinese kitten of 9 months. 5 Galleons and 10 sickles._

Without a second thought, Julia grabbed the cage and made her way toward the front desk, no longer regretting passing up Madam Malkin's. She was so joyous as she exited the shop that she had to restrain herself from skipping down the alley. She felt like a little kid again and had to forcibly calm herself as she took her seat on the Knight Bus. She turned the front of the cage towards her so she stared into the bright blue eyes. The elegant face cocked to the side as if he was examining her just like she was examining him.

"I suppose you need a name, huh?" she asked the kitten. He only blinked, but she could sense his agreement. "Okay, then. How about…Eldred?" A rumble in his throat told Julia no. "Xavier?" The same growl. "Libatius?" The growl again. "Roland?" The kitten blink and Julia heard a resounding purr reverberate through the cage. Julia smiled. "I guess it's Roland, huh?" The purring grew louder. "It's quite a regal name." There was an indignant meow was thrown at her as if he was saying "Of course! I am a regal cat!"

Madam Rosmerta showed her to a small, plain room on the second floor of the Three Broomsticks. Julia set the cage and bags of books on the bed. Before dealing with Roland, Julia took out all of her shrunken belongings from her book bag and returned them to their normal size. Julia was about to unpack when an indignant cry came from the cage on her bed. Julia laughed and opened the cage door. The kitten crawled out without any hesitation, jumped from the bed, and immediately started to examine the room.

Allowing Roland to explore, Julia went back to unpacking her sparse belongings. She dumped all of her clothing onto the bed and started folding them into neat piles. She picked up the piled and set them into the drawers in the dresser. When she turned back, she had to laugh aloud. The bag on her bed that had held her clothes was no longer empty. A pair of striking eyes stared at her from within the bag.

Julia rubbed Roland's head gently and pulled the bag to the end of the bed. She sat down at the head of the bed and pulled her new books towards her. She rooted through her book bag for a pen and highlighter and set to work marking and highlighting the spells she already knew and the ones she needed to know before term started.

She was half-way through year 3, sitting cross-legged and leaning over the book on the bed, a pen in her hand, when a soft, warm body crawled into her lap and a pair of paws started kneading her leg. "Watch the claws," she muttered to Roland who squeaked resentfully and lay his head down. She absently scratched his head once in a while. When her back became tired, she lay back on the bed with the book leaning on her chest. Roland moved to her stomach where he promptly fell asleep and Julia not long after him.

Julia had spent the past three days on the bed or at the desk looking through spell books. Roland rarely ever left her side except to go off by himself to hunt; even though she offered him cat food, he seemed to prefer to hunt. He was sitting on the bed, cleaning himself when she started pacing around the room. He paused in his bathing and watched her intently; he appeared to be fascinated by her constant pacing when she became impatient.

"Don't look at me like that," she snapped at Roland when he cried in annoyance. "If you don't like my pacing, turn around and don't watch me." Roland uttered an indignant cry and lay his head back down, but Julia had the distinct impression that he was pouting.

Julia sighed and continued her pacing, now filled with guilt as well as impatience. She finally slumped onto the bed, disrupting Roland's nap and having another angry meow thrown at her. She ignored him and continued her moody staring at the ceiling. Roland uttered another cry and pawed at her arm.

"What!" Julia snapped her head to look at the kitten. Roland was looking towards the window where an owl was hovering. Julia sprung off the bed and opened the window, allowing the owl to flutter in and land on top of the desk. Roland instantly went into attack mode. "Don't even think about it," Julia said sternly. The cat growled and sat on the bed, watching the owl with intense eyes. Julia ignored him and took the note from the owl.

_Julia,_

_I have arranged for you to meet with Sirius and Remus this evening at six at Grimmauld Place. If you would please come to the castle at a quarter to, you may use my office fireplace to Floo to Grimmauld Place._

_Sincerely, _

_Albus_

_P.S. – Do not forget the Sweedish Fish._

The shifting of her heart from hammering wildly to becoming eerily still continued until she stood in front of the gargoyle entrance to the Headmaster's office at a quarter to six. "Sweedish Fish," she said and the gargoyle sprung to life.

Dumbledore looked up from his writing when Julia entered the office. "I have already informed Sirius and Remus that they would have a visitor at six. They do not know that it is you who is coming." The mischievous twinkle in his eyes was unmistakable. "The kitchen should be empty when you arrive."

Julia tried to smile but the bubbling in her stomach prevented it. She walked to the fireplace, took a handful of Floo Powder, and said "Number 12, Grimmauld Place." She spun and clamped her eyes shut, concentrating on calming her stomach.

When she came to rest in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, she doubled over breathing deeply. Her nerves had already upset her stomach and the trip through the Floo Network had done nothing to help. A cold sweat coated her face, and her stomach heaved. She took a deep breath through her mouth, settling her stomach a bit. Then, something made her stomach resume its upset.

"Julia." The voice was stunned and soft but remarkably familiar. Julia snapped upwards, sending her stomach into a frenzy yet again. Her eyes widened when they fell upon Sirius sitting at the kitchen table with a mug in front of him. He stood up, knocking over the chair behind him almost in slow motion. Remus was in a chair across from Sirius, but he did not stand. He only stared, shock covering his prematurely lined face.

Before Sirius could move towards her, Julia blurted out, "I'm sorry."

Sirius, who had been on the verge of stepping forward, halted. "What?"

"I'm sorry." She had been going over it and over it in her head, what she would like to say to Sirius first. Considering how they last parted, Julia felt an apology was most appropriate.

"What on earth are you apologizing for?" There was laughter in his voice.

Julia frowned. "The last time we spoke, I almost attacked you."

This time, Sirius did laugh, and he hurried forward, pulling Julia into a hug, stunning her so she could not immediately respond. "You always were silly. Do you think after all this time I care about a ridiculous outburst?"

When he had released her, Julia looked up into his dark eyes. Even after all those years in Azkaban, he still was one of the most handsome boys – men – she had ever seen. "Well," she started matter-of-factly. "It was the right thing to do." She smiled.

Sirius squeezed her arms affectionately. "Merlin's beard! It's nice to see you again, even with your dry humor."

"What's happened to you Julia?" said a voice from behind them. Sirius turned about to frown at Remus. "What are you talking about, Remus?"

Remus stood and walked over to them. "I can understand how you could have overlooked the glaringly obvious fact that Julia has not aged, but I have not." It was impossible to miss the slightly steely tone of his voice.

Sirius looked back at Julia, who saw the realization of the truth of Remus' words. She knew by the look in his eyes that he was thinking the same thing as Remus.

"Oh, for God's sake!" she snapped. "I am not a vampire! You've seen me in sunlight before. I'm frozen."

"Frozen?"

"Yes, frozen." Her voice was bitter. "I was born in 1990 in America. In 2007, my final year, I was taking college courses at the university in my town. It was winter, and when I left for my class, I slipped on some ice. I slid onto the road where I was hit by a car. I can only assume that it killed me, but instead of dying, I regained consciousness here in Hogwarts. Remember the first day I met you? It was that same day that I discovered that I would appear seventeen until the day I was "killed."" She rolled up the hem of her shirt to reveal part of the black and blue bruise that had been there for almost two decades. "I have another bruise on my leg that came from the accident that will not heal until I begin to age again. Satisfied that I'm not a vampire?"

Remus nodded, his face pale. "I'm sorry, Julia, for jumping to a conclusion."

Julia shook her head. "It's okay. I can imagine how it looked when I walked in here, looking exactly the same as I did seventeen years ago."

Sirius laughed shakily. "Good lord! Has is really been seventeen years? I feel so old."

Julia laughed. "You look it too."

Sirius glared. "Annoying girl."

Julia mock glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "If I'm so annoying, then I'll just leave." She made her way towards the fire, but was stopped by a hand grabbing her arm.

"Don't even think about it. I have loads of questions and you owe me answers for the way we parted last."

Julia glared and punched his arm lightly. "Fine, but I cannot promise answers to all of them."

"Why did you leave?" Of course, Sirius would ask the one question she dreaded answering first.

Julia shook her head. "That's personal, Sirius."

Sirius face contorted with fury. "What did Snape do?"

Julia's winced visibly at the name. "N…nothing. He didn't do anything. He had nothing to do with why I left." The lie was a small one, but she knew that they would grow with every question Sirius asked. Guilt welled up inside her.

"Bull. He was no good, and he's still no good. Just stay away from him, okay? I don't want you to get hurt again."

Julia's throat clenched and she shut her eyes to push away the tears. "He doesn't know I am back," she said through barely moving lips. "He can't know I am back, okay?" She opened her eyes, pleading with Sirius and Remus.

Sirius was all too happy to oblige by her wishes, and Remus followed suit but with a little less enthusiasm. After that, it wasn't difficult for her to guide them towards more enjoyable topics – where she had traveled, for instance. Both of her friends seemed fascinated by where she had gone, and they spent the rest of her visit discussing Egypt and America.

It was nearing midnight when Julia insisted on leaving. She declined Sirius' offer to stay at Grimmauld Place. "There's too much of a risk of seeing him."

When she said she'd take the Knight Bus back, explaining that she didn't wish to disturb Dumbledore this late, Remus offered to apparate her back to Hogsmeade. Julia agreed, though she wondered why he had offered. She and Remus had been friendly whilst at Hogwarts, but they had not been extremely close. He had been busy with his studies and Julia with Severus.

"Thanks, Remus," Julia said when they had landed in front of the Three Broomsticks. Remus stopped her when she started to enter the pub.

"Julia, can I talk to you?"

Julia looked at him. "I don't know. I have a feeling that you want to talk about Severus, and in that case, I'm not sure I want to talk to you."

Remus smiled. "You are too smart for your own good sometimes, and yes, I want to talk to you about Severus."

Julia sighed, rubbing her face with her fingertips. "Okay. Talk."

"I don't know why you don't wish him to know of your return, but I am sure that it is not because he did something. I do not agree with Sirius that Severus is bad. I returned to teach at Hogwarts about two years ago, and Severus was good enough to help me with some…health issues I have." Julia nodded. "I remembered your closeness with him and asked him if he knew of your whereabouts." Julia's breath hitched in her throat. "Never have I seen such defeat and pain in Severus' eyes. I can only assume that you are, perhaps, a little afraid to face him after all this time, but I am almost certain that your return would take away that pain and defeat he is so cautious to show."

"Remus," Julia said, cutting him off. "I know all of this about Severus. Trust me, I do, and I do plan to tell him of my return, eventually. I am just not sure when that time will be. Thank you for your concern."

Remus put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Know that, even though we were never the closest friends, that I _am _a friend to you. I'm here to talk to if you cannot find someone who understands _your_ understanding of Severus." Julia caught the meaning of his words and smiled.

"Thanks, Remus. I'm sure I will see you soon."

Julia slumped onto her bed a few minutes later, exhausted. It _was_ nearly one in the morning. Roland settled on her stomach, his usual spot, and Julia, not having the heart to move him to change out of her day clothes, nodded off to sleep.


	22. The Trial

**Frozen**

**Chapter 21 – The Trial**

Pounding. Something was pounding.

Julia sat up, bleary eyed. An angry Roland growled at her as he crawled off her stomach. She looked around for the source of the noise, and realizing it was coming from her door, Julia stumbled out of bed. She opened the door to a concerned Remus who sighed with relief at the sight of her.

"I was starting to worry." He walked in when Julia motioned for him to come in.

She rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I was sleeping," she said groggily. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon." Remus looked at the bed covered with books. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

Julia stretched, gazing at the texts with weary eyes. "Trying to catch up on five years of spells so I am prepared to return to Hogwarts."

"In one night?" Remus asked indignantly, eyebrow raised.

"Of course not. It'll take at least two."

Remus laughed. "Well, at least you have a plan."

"That I do. What are you doing here? Aren't you usually off on some Order mission?"

Remus nodded. "Usually, but today was Harry's trial. He was cleared and there's a bit of a celebration going on at headquarters for lunch. Sirius wanted me to come get you. I think he wants you to meet Harry."

Julia hesitated. "I don't know, Remus." Contact with Harry was dangerous, especially at an event that was written about in the books. "Being at Grimmauld Place is a very risky business. Who knows if he should come by?"

"I thought you would worry about that, but I am sure you would be safe. Severus does not come by headquarters very often." He looked thoughtful. "Haven't you ever worried about him seeing you here? He's at the castle, and I'm sure he comes into Hogsmeade occasionally."

Julia's eyes darkened. "Dumbledore said he was staying away from the castle." Her stomach started churning and a strange prickling sensation enveloped her arms.

Remus frowned. "That's odd, but all the more reason to join us for the celebration."

She laughed at his persistence. "I fold. I will come back to Grimmauld Place with you."

"Good." He held out his arm, and Julia grimaced. The trapped, confined feeling of having her body squeezed into a too small space was not a comfortable or appealing one. She sighed and took his arm, immediately encased in that iron band that constricted her air passages. She was released outside Grimmauld Place, hurriedly following Remus up the stairs and through the door.

The "celebration" was more of a festive lunch, as the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place were excited for the positive outcome of the trial, most of the inhabitants at least. Remus was no fool. He had known that Sirius would not be overjoyed with Harry returning to Hogwarts. Under normal circumstances, Julia would have been irked at being so blatantly used, but at the sight of her down-trodden friend drinking Butterbeer moodily at one end of the table, Julia could not feel very angry towards Remus.

Sirius had not seen them enter, and he glanced over without any interest when Julia sat beside him. "Don't look so happy to see me." Her tone was sarcastic but the smile on her face said plainly that she was not in any way perturbed by Sirius's unpleasant greeting.

As soon as he recognized Julia, his face brightened. "What are you doing here?"

"Remus came by and dragged me along to join the celebration. He said Harry was cleared of all the charges. You don't seem so pleased, though."

Sirius's smile fell a bit. He looked away from her and to the boy sitting at the other end of the table, who Julia assumed was Harry based on his eerie resemblance of James. "He could be James' twin." Sirius looked at his godson wistfully. "Except for the eyes."

"Lily's eyes." Julia had not meant the words to sound so bitter and cruel, but the vision in her head was not one of her old friends. She was seeing Severus grasping Harry's robes in his last moments of life in a desperate attempt to look into the eyes that were identical to the woman he loved.

Sirius' shocked eyes were knives to Julia's heart. He frowned thoughtfully. "I never understood why you two didn't get along."

"One word and not one you like to hear."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "My mother? I didn't know you and Lily had any connection to her.

Julia laughed and smiled at him gratefully. They both knew to whom Julia had referred. Apparently, Sirius was just as reluctant as Julia was to bring up Severus.

Thinking of Severus, Julia recalled what Remus had said. She stood suddenly, anger erupting within her. "I need to talk to Dumbledore. He needs to explain something."

Sirius looked stunned. "You only just got here," he protested. "You need to meet Harry."

Julia smiled. "I will." But she secretly vowed to prevent it for as long as possible. "But I _need_ to speak to Dumbledore."

Sirius nodded, disappointed. "Use the Floo Network."

"Thanks, Sirius." She hugged him briefly, waved to Remus, and went to the fireplace. "Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts."

Dumbledore had stopped in mid-sentence when Julia came through the fireplace. Seeing her angry face, he frowned. "What is wrong, Julia?"

"You lied to me," she growled, her voice venomous. "He is in the castle."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Would you have come into the castle if I had told you he was here?"

Julia was about to respond, but her mouth snapped shut. She glared furiously at Dumbledore. "You still should have told me."

Dumbledore nodded. "I probably should have, but you have not seen him these past seventeen years. You have not watched the hope slowly drain out of him, or watch him give into the heartbreak and depression. If I could give him a chance to relieve some of the guilt that has eaten at him, I was not about to pass it by."

"Oh, don't pretend to care about him," Julia snapped darkly.

Dumbledore's stunned expression shocked Julia out of her dark mood. "Do you believe that you alone care for Severus?"

"For Severus exactly as Severus is? Yes. For what he can offer? No."

Dumbledore frowned, and Julia knew he understood. "If you care for him so much, why do you hide from him? Do you think I have exaggerated these seventeen years? He comes to me weekly, desperately asking if I have heard from you. He has not ceased in his desperate attempts to locate you."

"I don't believe you. We were kids when we parted. I know Severus, and his pride would never allow him to plead."

Dumbledore sighed. "There is something you need to see. Follow me." He went to the door of the office. Julia hesitated. "I promise you that he is not here."

"Where is he?"

"On Order business," he replied vaguely.

Julia frowned. "Okay." She followed Dumbledore reluctantly out of the office and into the castle. She instinctively shielded her eyes when she caught the eye of the curious portraits, some of which recognized her. "Where exactly are we going?" She had not meant to snap, but her anxiety was consuming her.

"You will see."

Dumbledore's vague answers were starting to bother her. She was about to tell him so when they stopped. It took her a moment to realize where they were. When she did, her stomach flipped and the color drained from her face. "Why are we here?" Her voice was full of numb disbelief.

"You need to understand." The vague answer would have bothered her if he hadn't opened the door.

She was staring into the room that had once been hers, but rather than being empty and blanketed in the dust of seventeen years of absence, the room had been stopped in time. The sparse belongings that had decorated the room were all in the same places. The armchair was at the same angle towards the fire. A book even sat open on one of its arms.

Julia did not feel herself walk forward, but she was suddenly picking up the book. She knew the title without looking, but she had to reassure herself. Looking at the cover, Julia nearly dropped the battered copy of _Jane Eyre_, the copy she had left behind so many years ago.

"I believe Severus thought the book would lead him to you. He has been picking it apart for years."

Her hands shook fiercely as she slowly lowered the book back to the chair's arm. The betraying tears stung at the back of her eyes. Desperate to escape the agony coursing through her, Julia shut her eyes tightly and forced herself into the black, calm sea of numbness.

Without a word, she turned her back on the frozen room and walked past Dumbledore. He did not try to stop her, and Julia only vaguely registered his sad face as she walked through the castle and on to the grounds. She walked through Hogsmeade and to her room, not feeling the pelting rain hit her. Only when she was safely locked in her room at the Three Broomsticks did the cold affect her. She shivered on her bed, her thoughts empty until a warm body sat in her lap. Roland's head bumped her hand, forcing her to run a hand down his neck.

Through the numbness, there was a slight sliver of joy. "Am I being selfish?" she whispered to the feline. The sparkling eyes blinked, and Julia couldn't resist a small smile. "I know I am. He deserves to know, but I can't face him. He'll want to know why I left, and I can't tell him the truth. It would destroy him." The kitten meowed. "He'll hate me anyway for running away." The kitten growled and laid his head down, officially ending the conversation.

* * *

A week passed. And then, two. Her time was spent with Roland and the spell books. Hours that became days were taken up with memorizing and reciting. When she grew tired of the spells, Julia turned to her journal. When that became boring, it was back to the spells. The pattern became tiresome, but when she was not memorizing or writing, she was thinking. Usually her thoughts were of Severus or Sirius.

Only in the past couple weeks did Julia realize that she had mere months to create a plan to save Sirius. This awareness had sent Julia into a near panic. She spent the good part of an hour berating herself for being so foolish. There was less than a year left. She had had seventeen! It had taken her most of another hour to calm herself down from the terror and panic that had seized her heart. Only after her near-breakdown was Julia able to start thinking rationally.

The only way for her to be able to save Sirius and Severus was for her to inadvertently save Siruis, so she could keep her magic to save Severus later on. The more she thought on it, though, the clearer it became that what she was trying to do was damn near impossible. For something to be inadvertent, it could not be planned. It just had to happen accidentally. If she could somehow cause events to happen naturally so Sirius would not follow Harry to the Ministry, then maybe she could pull it off, but that plan left a lot up to chance.

Over the weeks, it occurred to her more than once, usually while she laid awake her mind spinning too quickly to sleep, that perhaps she could not save both of her friends. She started to think, in her weakest moments, that she would have to choose between them. Over and over, the guilt ripping her apart, she was forced to come to terms with the fact that she would undoubtedly pick Severus.

* * *

"Ouch!" The pounding on her door had startled her so badly that she had dropped the books she had been carrying on her foot. Limping to the door, she pulled it open, clutching her throbbing toes. "What?" she snapped irritably to her guest before recognizing who it was.

Remus was watching her curiously, his eyebrows knit together. "What exactly are you doing?"

Julia limped to her bed. Remus entered the room and closed the door. "I dropped a couple books on my foot when you knocked." She flopped onto the bed, rubbing her toes.

"I'm sorry," Remus said with a humorous smile.

Julia shrugged. "It's okay. I'm just maimed for life. Nothing to worry about. What are you doing here?"

Remus smiled, but his eyes were serious. "We've been worried about you. We haven't seen you since Harry's trial and you haven't responded to any of our owls."

Julia smiled guiltily. "Sorry, Remus. I've been a bit distracted. I'm a bit nervous about going back to…"

"I talked to Dumbledore." Remus interrupted her, his voice calm. "He told me what happened at the castle. I told you that first night when you came back that I am here if you need to talk. You don't need to isolate yourself. You have friends who love and care about you, who would listen to you no matter what it is you wish to talk about." Julia snorted scathingly. "When push comes to shove, Sirius can, with extreme effort, put aside his prejudice and be a caring friend. Your happiness is more important than some schoolboy grudge, to both Sirius and me."

Julia made herself smile, though her heart ached. "Really, Remus, I'm okay. I didn't mean to worry anyone. I was just consumed by, well, this." She swept her arm out, indicating the mess of books and papers.

Remus smiled. "I know, but it's pretty obvious that you haven't been okay. Come back to Headquarters with me, so Sirius knows that you are alive." There was humor in his voice, but Julia knew that he was Sirius and it made her sad that her friends thought she was suicidal.

"Okay," she said with no argument. She would be returning to Hogwarts the next day, and she didn't know when she would get to see her friends again.

Remus's eyebrows rose is surprise. "No resistance. I think it's a miracle."

Julia hit him playfully on the arm. "Very funny, Remus. Let's go." She took his arm and she felt the usual discomfort of apparation for a few moments.

"He's in his room," Remus said as soon as the front door closed behind them. "Fourth floor. His name is on the door. He's been a little depressed since Harry was cleared. I think he was hoping Harry could stay here. It will do him some good to see you."

"Thanks, Remus." Julia walked up the stairs slowly, taking in the hallways of Grimmauld Place. The house elf heads were disturbing to say the least, but the dark, slightly depressing hallways had a certain coolness to them. There was something interesting and unique to the house, but its dank corridors made it understandable that Sirius disliked the place.

The door swung open when she knocked. "I'll be down in a while, Molly."

"I'm not Molly, Sirius." Julia laughed when Sirius leapt off the bed and bound over to her like the dog he sometimes was. He enveloped her in a tight hug.

"I was worried about you," he said roughly.

"You worry too much." Her voice was breathless because of the tightness of his embrace. "Um…Sirius?" she choked. "I need air."

Sirius released her instantly with a laugh. "Sorry. I'm just glad to see you."

"Sorry for worrying you. I didn't think that about you or Remus when I let myself get distracted."

He smiled and squeezed her shoulder affectionately. "I know how you can get, Jules. Are you going to stay for dinner? We're celebrating Hermione and Ron's Prefect appointments."

"I suppose so. You know how much I love a party." She grimaced.

"It won't be bad. You can hide in the shadows like the wallflower you are."

"I'll just leave now if you're going to pick on me all night."

"Oh, no you're not," he said, gripping her arm and pulling her back into the room. "You're going to stay and explain what you've been doing that's been so distracting."

Julia sat in a chair. "It's pretty boring, Sirius. I've been studying."

Sirius stared. "With anyone else I would think that was a lie, but with you, I believe it. Studying what?"

"Five years worth of spells, charms, potions, etc."

"What would possess you to do that?"

"I never learned the spells, remember? I came from a Muggle life to a seventh-year student, and I've lived as a Muggle for seventeen years with limited use of my magic. I needed to catch up."

Sirius laughed. "Do you think you've prepared enough?"

Julia shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I go back tomorrow whether I'm ready or not."

Sirius frowned and Julia realized that her words could have been taken to mean she wasn't ready to face Severus, which she wasn't. "You know what I meant," she whispered.

"I know," Sirius replied comfortingly. He sighed. "Will you handle being back okay?"

Julia shrugged one shoulder. "I honestly don't know. I guess I'll find out tomorrow."

"I'm sure you'll be okay."

Julia smiled feebly at his weak attempt to comfort her. "Will you handle Harry going back okay?" she countered.

Sirius frowned. "He has to go back. Why would I have a problem with that?"

"Don't play dumb, Sirius. We both know that you were hoping Harry could stay here."

Sirius sighed in resignation. "Fine. I was, but he's not so there's nothing to be done about it."

"Sirius. I know you miss James. I miss James. I hate having to say this, but Harry is not James no matter how much they look alike. He's still a child, albeit a child who has experienced more than most have. You lost your best friend, and you may not believe it, but I can understand. It hurts more than anything else does. Trying to replace him with Harry, though, isn't going to make it better. If anything, it's going to make it hurt more"

He stared at her. "I know he's not his father, but he's not as much of a child as everyone seems to think. I think treating him like an adult helps him face what he has and will have to go through."

Julia smiled. "I know, Sirius. I just sometimes think that you believe that your best friend is back."

Sirius's face hardened. "And what about your "best friend"?"

The nerves of Julia's face prickled as the blood rushed from it. "He hates me." Her voice was barely more than a pained whisper. "Or he will when he finds out I'm back."

"Why?"

Julia pushed herself off the chair and started pacing. "I've lied to him for years. I ran away. I'm too afraid to face him. I'm a bloody coward." Her hands gripped her arms tightly, in a desperate attempt to pull all of her uncontrollable feelings into herself, make them disappear into the black abyss that was her heart.

Sirius grabbed her, forcing her to stop her pacing. "You are not a coward," he growled. "You're scared, which is not something to be ashamed of. Why are you afraid of him?"

She struggled away from him, glaring furiously. "I'm not afraid of him! I'm afraid of facing him. He was my best friend, Sirius! He was my James, and I let him down. I deserted him like everyone else has."

Sirius grabbed her again. "Why did you run?" he asked hotly. "What has you so scared? What did he do?"

Julia stopped resisting. "Severus didn't _do_ anything. I left because I was putting him in danger."

He released her, stepping back, stunned by her words. "How could you endanger him? It would have been the opposite way around. He was putting you in danger."

"Just stop!" Her voice cracked. "He was trying to protect me. Everywhere I went, he followed, watching everything like a hawk. I made a mistake. I didn't listen to him, and I paid for it."

He stepped closer to her, his eyes concerned. "What do you mean that you paid for it, Julia? What happened to you?" His voice was soft, fearful of what had actually happened.

Julia shook her head, her eyes shut tightly. "Don't, Sirius. Don't make me tell you. I can't… I just can't."

Warm arms encircled her. "Okay. It's okay, Julia."

His words bit at Julia. She pushed away from him. "It's not. It's not. It's my fault. Everything is my fault."

"I must say, Julia, you are persistent. I don't think telling you it wasn't your fault a million times would make a difference, but I will try. I will owl you every bloody day if that is what it takes." He took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "Whatever happened, it is in the past. It is not your fault. You don't have to be afraid anymore. I am here. Remus is here. Merlin's pants, I can't believe I'm saying this, but if you told Snape, he would be there too, whether he openly said so or not. You are not alone, anymore. Let us help you. Let us take care of you." He dropped his hands away from her face.

Someone knocked on the door before Julia could respond. Remus walked in. "Molly said that dinner will be ready soon. We should all come down to the kitchen."

Sirius nodded and looked at Julia. "Are you still staying?"

Julia shrugged. "I suppose." She walked out of the room, barely acknowledging Remus, who, once she was gone, looked at Sirius.

"What happened?"

Sirius sober face was a stark contrast from his usual broad smile. "I think I know what happened to her, and I was wrong. It's not Snape's fault. I think he's the only one who can help her."

Remus and Sirius stared at one another in wordless concern, before following Julia to the kitchens for the Prefect Celebration.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, on a lark, I decided to create a Twitter for Julia. It's kind of a way to keep track of some of what she's been doing. I think I will really pick up using it after the story is over, but for now follow her. She's kinda lonely. Her name is Julia_Sellick. Thanks for reading.**


	23. Hufflepuff

**Frozen**

**Chapter 22 – Hufflepuff**

The day started out well enough. She woke early, getting hardly any sleep because of the nerves and excitement of returning to Hogwarts. Most of the morning was spent gathering her things and putting them into her trunk, and she earned many angry cries from Roland for constantly pushing him around because he seemed to have a desire to sit on anything and everything she needed to pack.

By noon, Julia was sitting on the bed with a mirror in her hand and her wand in the other. She had saved the thing she dreaded most for last. It used to be fun changing her appearance, inventing a new self, but it had grown tiresome over the years. These past few weeks had been wonderful without a face full of glamours that hid who she was. With her return to Hogwarts mere hours away, Julia knew that she couldn't wait any longer.

With a heavy sigh, Julia tapped her forehead with her wand and watched as her face changed. The only part of her that remained was her eyes. The shape and sparkling blue color were all that stayed because of a deep, buried part of her that told her that changing her eyes was a mistake. She lengthened her hair and changed it to a slightly darker rich amber brown that glowed in the rare sunlight that shone through the window.

Jane Rochester looked back at Julia, and all Julia could do was pray that Severus would see the real Julia behind the mask of Jane. She hoped the subtle hints in her face and in her name were enough. Julia knew Severus was brilliant and he would undoubtedly see the hints. She was sure he would go to Dumbledore and the old fool would never take away his hope.

Julia turned away from the mirror and looked around the room for a certain kitten. "Roland." Her voice was stern when she beckoned, but he did not come out. "You are going to go in the carrier whether it's willingly or by force."

The angry kitten slinked out from under the dresser and hissed at Julia. "Don't you hiss at me. If it was up to me, I'd let you walk, but it's not, so get in." Without any more resistance, he crawled into the carrier, but she could hear his angry growl from across the room. She knew that the moment he had the entire castle to explore he would forgive her, though.

Once she had closed the carrier and set it alongside her trunk, Julia glanced at her watch, and even though it was early, Julia couldn't stand sitting around. She slipped on her robes embellished with the Hufflepuff crest, and she took a moment to wonder if she would ever get to wear the crest of the house she thought she should belong to – Ravenclaw. It didn't seem likely and the thought was depressing to Julia. She sent her trunk to the Hufflepuff dormitory with a spell Dumbledore had given her.

The walk to Hogwarts was not long or tiresome, but with each footstep, it became harder to urge herself forward. A deadened weight had settled in her chest that was beyond nerves. It was the petrifying fear of seeing a man who had been her best friend, who she had betrayed, who she loved.

The angry kitten made his annoyance known for the whole walk, only serving to upset Julia that much more. Once they were within the castle, Julia snapped. "Fine, you wretched cat." She set the carrier down and opened the door. "Just stay close." But, of course, the kitten was feeling rebellious no doubt and took off through the side door that led to the dungeons. Julia followed without hesitation, calling for him.

Julia walked hurriedly through the cold corridors, looking wildly around. "Come here, you damn cat!" Her voice was a violent hiss, similar to the one she heard issue from somewhere nearby. Julia came up short, searching crazily. Then, a short meow issued from somewhere behind her, and she swung around and found herself staring at a tall, imposing man. Almost in slow motion, her eyes lifted to the man's face, and Julia could have sworn her heart collapsed. The traitorous kitten was in the arm of one Severus Snape.

She just stared and stared. She was terrified, but at the same time, she was in awe. It was Sev, her Sev, but as she stared into those fathomless black eyes, Julia's heart sank with the realization that he was not her Sev anymore. The eyes, though. Those eyes were like the most uplifting yet crushing sight she had ever seen.

She was mesmerized. It had been so long since she had truly seen him up close. That brief moment a few years back did not do him justice in her eyes. Staring at him now, he hadn't changed at all, yet he was nothing like the man she had known.

As their eyes connected, Julia swore something stirred within their empty depths, and she had a sudden surge of wild hope that her subtle hints had done their job. Then, as soon as she had seen it, it had disappeared, replaced by the dark glare that she had grown used to over the years.

"Is this wretched creature yours?" That voice! Good lord! She had waited so long to hear it again, and now that she had, heaven was hers. The smooth silkiness slid over her and awakened her senses for the first time in seventeen years.

Julia breathed deeply. "Unfortunately." She forced her eyes to the kitten, glaring at him, but he only blinked at her innocently.

Severus handed the cat over, and his hand briefly brushed hers. Julia was certain she was going to die of her trembling body and heart. Severus frowned, and Julia wondered what he was thinking. Without another word, he turned and stalked away, leaving Julia in more confusion than understanding.

"I should murder you, you stupid feline, but I won't because of who found you," she whispered furiously to the kitten in her arms that meowed innocently and purred contently. She shoved him back into the carrier as soon as she reached it, earning a furious bout of hissing and growling. "Well, you shouldn't have run off. Deal with it."

A few minutes later, she sat in front of Dumbeldore. "Jane, correct?" He smiled, a twinkling in his eyes.

"Jane Rochester at your service sir." Her smile was wide, and she was giddy without reason.

Dumbledore raised a surprised eyebrow. "I'm surprised at your compliance. I did not think you wished to return."

Julia shrugged. "I didn't, but I feel better about the decision. I'm ready to come back."

Dumbledore smiled happily. "Was there something in particular that changed your mind?"

"I ran into Severus…Professor Snape… or rather, Roland ran into him. I wasn't expecting to be happy about seeing him, but I am."

"Do you plan on telling him soon?"

Julia's smile faltered. "I don't know, sir."

"The sooner the better, my dear."

Julia frowned but did not respond.

"I asked you to come to the castle early to explain what I would like you to do for the Order." Julia nodded, and he continued. "It's quite simple, really. You will need to gauge what the general opinion of the student body is toward the return of Voldemort."

"Will I be reporting to you, sir?"

Dumbledore nodded. "For now. It may be someone else in the future."

Julia nodded, curious as to whom else she would report to besides him.

"Your things have been moved to the Hufflepuff dormitory. You are welcome to spend the rest of the afternoon as you please, but be sure to be in the Great Hall at seven this evening for the feast. The password is "haversacking.""

Julia left the office and headed towards the Hufflepuff dorms. It wasn't hard to find with the directions Dumbledore had given her a week or so ago. Once the magicked door allowed her through, Julia collapsed into one of the many large armchairs that sat in the common room. Roland gave an angry hiss, but she ignored him, too wrapped up in her thoughts to care. What had she gotten herself into?

* * *

Severus slammed into the headmaster's office, masking the ill feeling in his stomach by undiluted rage. "Who the hell is she?" he growled without preamble, approaching the desk quickly and glaring fiercely at the old man.

"Who is "she", Severus?"

"The girl with Jul…_her_ eyes."

Dumbledore lifted his chin in understanding. "Ah. Her name is Jane Rochester." Severus's head twitched. "She's a fifth year transfer Hufflepuff student." The despair in Severus' eyes almost had Dumbledore spilling the truth to him, but he held his tongue.

"I see." Severus straightened, regaining his composure.

"Did you think it was Julia?"

Severus flinched at the name. "I let myself hope." The old man was the only person Severus would ever admit that fact to. "I was a fool."

"You are no fool, Severus. Keep hoping because you never know when she might return."

"You've been telling me the same thing for seventeen years. My stores of hope are running low." Severus left abruptly, not seeing the shining mischief in Dumbledore's eyes marred only by subtle hints of guilt and pain.

* * *

Julia smoothed her reddish hair that she had pulled into a bun. Then, her eyes fell to the insignia on her chest, and she sighed. She actually missed the silver and green. When it had happened, she had not liked being a Slytherin, but now that she wore the black and yellow of the Hufflepuff house, she realized how much her house had grown on her.

"I suppose I should head down to the Great Hall." She sighed again and looked back to the kitten that was curled up on the bed that was hers. He opened his eyes, blinked, and closed them again. He was still quite upset with her for forcing him into that carrier. Julia rolled her eyes and left the dormitory.

It was impossible to be unaware of the sidelong stares and whispers that circulated around Julia, but she did a good job of ignoring them until one of the whisperers spoke to her.

"Hello." Julia looked to her right at a curvy, red-head. She smiled at Julia. "I'm Lucy Cameron."

Julia returned her smile. "I'm Jane Rochester."

"You're new, right?" Another girl, athletic and blond, sitting across from Lucy spoke. "I'm Eliza Rivas, by the way."

"Hi, and yes, I'm new. I transferred from America."

Lucy perked up. "Wow. That's cool. You'll have to tell us all about it there."

"It's not all that exciting, trust me."

"Sure it is." The red-head insisted she describe in great detail her life in America. Julia spoke of the life that had ended seventeen years ago, with one twist: she was a witch in America and had gone to school there until this year.

"So, you're a fifth year?" Eliza questioned.

Julia nodded, taking a swig of Butterbeer. "I don't know if I'll be on the same level as the rest of the fifth years, though. We weren't taught the same from the little I've gathered."

"I'm sure you'll be fine." Julia was getting the distinct impression that Lucy was a very optimistic person, and Julia suddenly understood why Severus was so annoyed with her when she was upbeat and joyful.

It was silent for a few moments. Then, Eliza asked a question that brought Julia's thoughts to a grinding halt. "Are you a half-blood?"

Julia's mind spun. "Uh…I…I don't know. I was…adopted when I was a kid. I never knew my real parents."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Julia shrugged. "It never mattered much to me. What about you two?"

Lucy volunteered first. "I'm Muggleborn. Mum and Dad get a kick out of all this."

"I'm half-blood. Dad was the wizard. Mom left when she found out."

Julia winced. "Sorry."

Eliza mirrored Julia's earlier shrug, and the trio lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Luckily, the sorting began, and the uncomfortable moment passed. Once the sorting had finished, Dumbledore began his speech, which was rudely interrupted by Umbridge. Julia tuned her out, hating her on sight and roved her eyes over the staff table lazily. Her eyes froze on one figure, though, that was staring intently at her.

Julia's face paled and her stomach twisted. That intense gaze held hers for endless moments until Julia flinched away because of the sudden noise of quiet applause that sounded like a bomb to Julia's ears. She forced her eyes to focus on Dumbledore, but her mind wandered back to that disconcerting gaze.

When the banging of benches alerted her to the end of Dumbledore's speech, Julia scrambled to her feet and walked out of the hall with Lucy and Eliza. They were brought up short by the sudden imposing figure blocking their path. Julia's throat tightened as she looked into the amazingly terrifying yet captivating face of Severus.

"We meet again, Miss Rochester." It was going to be a long year if every time she heard his silken voice her body went numb and she could not think worth a damn. "I look forward to seeing if the superb teachings at the American Institute have taught you well enough to succeed in my potions classroom." He left as abruptly as he did earlier that day, leaving Julia in the same state of disorder as then.

Eliza and Lucy hurried her down towards the Hufflepuff dormitory. "What in Merlin's name was that about?" Lucy was the first to speak when they had entered the girl's dorm.

Julia sat numbly on her bed, fully aware that the three girls she did not know were listening intently. "I don't know." Her lips and voice trembled. "I had a run in with him earlier today when I first arrived. Maybe that has something to do with it."

"Perhaps," Eliza conceded. "But that was strange even for Snape. If he didn't like you, he would either ignore you or be extremely cruel. He was almost humorously sarcastic."

Julia repressed a smile. The latest run in with the Potions professor had been similar to something they would have shared seventeen years ago. Instead, she shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm not feeling too confident about Potions that's for sure."

Lucy laughed. "No one ever feels confident about Potions."

Julia grimaced and prepared for bed. A little while later, she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The feelings inside her were more conflicting than she had ever felt. There was so much sadness and pain, but for a brief moment, at dinner with Lucy and Eliza, Julia felt a surge of happiness that she hadn't felt since she was in the castle nearly two decades in the past. For the first time in a long time, Julia felt seventeen again, and for some unknown reason, it terrified her more than the imposing reunion with Severus.

* * *

**Author's Note: I hope this update was fast enough for everyone. I thought I'd treat everyone since I'm going on a school trip to Boston on Thursday and won't be able to write until after I get back. As always, reviews are encouraged and welcome. Thanks for reading.**


	24. It Begins

**Frozen**

**Chapter 23 – It Begins**

Julia thanked Merlin for letting September 2 be a Saturday. She needed the extra sleep since Lucy and Eliza had kept her awake most of the night with their curious questioning. It was nearly noon when she managed to crawl out of bed, but she was not alone. The other five girls in the dorm were still sprawled in bed. Julia snuck out of the dorm, but did a double take when she walked by a mirror.

Her altered appearance was shocking and heartbreaking, a constant reminder of her separation from Severus. She forced herself away and to the lavatory to shower. Even the Hufflepuff lavatory was cozy, and made Julia's upset stomach calm. By the time Julia left the Hufflepuff dormitory, her anxiety had all but subsided, but it was back with a vengeance when she entered the Great Hall and saw who sat at the staff table.

Severus looked at her when she entered the hall, and Julia was certain for a moment that he saw through the glamours. The clawing hunger in her stomach instantly evaporated, and her mouth went dry. Her eyes dropped in a flash, and she sat in the first seat she found empty. She concentrated on the plate in front of her, refusing to look up even though her heart screamed for her to look at him again.

A shadow suddenly appeared over her food, and Julia looked up. It wasn't whom she thought or hoped it was. Rather it was Professor Sprout, and she handed Julia her schedule for the term. She thanked her head of house and looked at the sheet of parchment. Her face paled instantly at the sight of Double Potions first thing Monday morning. The rest of her schedule evaporated, and the hall around her disappeared.

"Why didn't you wake us?" Julia was snapped back to the Great Hall when Lucy and Eliza sat on either side of her. Julia looked at Lucy who was the one who had spoken.

"I didn't know you wanted to be woken up."

Lucy shrugged and piled some food on her empty plate. "What are we going to do today?"

Eliza picked apart a sandwich, removing the fixings she didn't like. "We could show Jane around the castle since this is her first year."

Lucy perked up. "Yes! That sounds like fun. Would you want to?" Lucy asked almost as an afterthought.

Julia shrugged. "I guess." She couldn't mention that she already knew her way around the castle, or that she just wanted to go to the library to look through her books again.

Lucy noticed the piece of parchment in her hands and snatched it from Julia's grip. "Ooh! Double Potions. This year is going to be miserable. It looks like a decent day after that. Double Charms. Ancient Runes. Muggle Studies. I wonder what we'll have while Jane's in Runes and Muggle Studies?"

A few moments later, Professor Sprout brought around Lucy and Eliza's schedules. "Transfiguration and then, Herbology."

For the better part of a half an hour, the girls compared schedules and mapped out times to study and take breaks. As Eliza and Lucy led her from the Great Hall and began their tour, Julia became suddenly aware that they were like friends. She had never expected this, to be accepted so quickly. While she wasn't entirely sure she liked the girls, Julia was immensely glad that they were willing to befriend her.

"Damn it."

Julia looked around, brought back to reality by Eliza's curse. They were in an upstairs corridor as far as Julia could tell, and a flaming red-head in a Slytherin uniform was walking towards them. She stopped in front of the trio, looking haughty.

"So the droll duo has become a trio. Who's the plain Jane?"

"None of your business, Greengrass," Lucy's eyes crackled with anger.

The Slytherin raised an eyebrow and looked at Julia. Julia stepped forward, her brow knit with concern. "I think you're on fire… Oh, wait! It's just your hair. Why don't you run along and stick your head in a bucket of water? Count to a thousand and come back up."

The Slytherin's eyes darkened. "Why… you…little…" Her hand whipped for her wand, but Julia beat her to it. She grabbed her own wand and flicked it, sending the redhead flying. She fell on the ground a few feet away, dazed but otherwise unharmed.

"Jane Rochester at your service," Jane called out loudly. "Ever mess with me or my friends again, and you will be certain to regret it until you graduate…if you graduate."

The Slytherin stood, glaring daggers at Julia who would have been afraid if she was a normal student. However, Julia merely raised a speculating eyebrow.

"I will make you regret coming to Hogwarts, Jane Rochester. Mark my words." She stormed away.

"Consider the marked." It was only a mumble, but Eliza and Lucy could hear. They looked at her with wide eyes. "What?"

"She is going to make your life hell now." Lucy gaped at her as if she had never seen anything like Julia before.

Julia shrugged. "I'll make her life just as much a hell, then. Who was she, by the way?"

"Daphne Greengrass. The meanest Slytherin girl, second only to Pansy Parkinson."

Julia nodded thoughtfully. "Well, she just met the meanest Hufflepuff Jane Rochester."

The girls stared at Julia with open mouths. She rolled her eyes with a sigh and walked forward. They scurried along to catch up to her. "I don't like bullies," Julia explained once they were level to her. "I had to deal with my fair share of them at home, and I will not stand by and allow myself or anyone I know to suffer because of them anymore."

"This will be all over the castle by Monday morning. There won't be a safe place to hide from the Slytherins." Eliza's voice was concerned, but her face still wore a look of mingled awe and curiosity.

Julia shrugged. "Do I look alarmed? Bullies are cowards, and all it takes to bring them down is for one person to be brave enough to stand up to them."

Lucy grinned at Eliza. "I'm really starting to like this girl."

Julia smiled to herself. The rest of the tour went off without a hitch. By mid-afternoon, Julia was in the library at the spot where Severus had attempted to heal her bruises, and all she could manage to do was stare out the window. She was just coming to realize how surreal it was to be back at Hogwarts. She had run from it for so long, and to be suddenly back here was just weird.

Approaching footsteps brought Julia out of her reverie. She turned around just as Severus came around the corner, a book tucked tightly in the crook of his arm. Julia's breath hitched in her throat at the sight of him. Yesterday had been so busy that seeing him had been fleeting, but now, it was a different story. If she didn't mind making a fool of herself, Julia could stare at him for as long as she wanted. She didn't mind.

In the rush of yesterday, Julia had not stopped to truly look at him. In the interim years, she had forgotten how tall he was. If it was possible, he was taller than before, but he was no longer awkward. He had grown into his long arms and legs, and when he walked, Julia was acutely aware of how fluid and languid his gait was. The black coat fit him like a glove revealing how much he had changed. His arms, which had been like twigs, had developed some definition visible even with the coat and shirt he had on. The coat ended above his knees, but Julia was certain that his legs were much like his arms. A shiver radiated down her spine at the idea.

All the awkwardness of puberty had vanished. In its place was an elegance that only years of cold indifference could have manifested. Julia saw the long, graceful fingers clench when he saw that he was not alone in this section of the library. Her eyes moved up his arm to where the book he held was tightly clutched to his side. Her eyes had to read the title a couple of time to register it – _Jane Eyre_.

Julia blinked and looked at him, frowning in uncertainty.

He stared at her for a moment, his gaze as uncertain as hers was, and then, it shifted to its usual glare. He grabbed the book and hid it from view.

Julia knew if she stayed around him, she was surely going to say or do something that she would regret. Even at this moment, telling him the truth was on the tip of her tongue. With only a second's hesitation, she walked passed him desperate to get away before she made a bigger fool of herself.

"Miss Rochester." Julia froze and slowly turned to face him. She was only a couple feet away, and she was suddenly seventeen years in the past. Severus was a gangly teenager healing her bruised body, and she was an uncertain girl with no idea of what was happening. "Miss Rochester." Snape snapped her name again, drawing her back.

"Professor." She was hesitant, nervous about the look of mixed anger and resigned curiosity on his face.

With a sigh and a look of extreme determination, Snape spoke. "If you do not mind me asking, what was your mother's name?"

Julia stared, momentarily stunned by his question. Then, the reasoning clicked into place. He thought that Jane Rochester was Julia's child. Jane had enough of Julia's features to make it plausible, and the name was a dead giveaway of there being some connection between Julia and Jane. Julia mentally groaned; this had not been what she had expected to happen.

She hesitated, thinking quickly, before saying, "Mary Rochester and, I don't know who my dad is. He left." It was a lame but believable story. There was a moment of crushing disappointment that distorted Snape's face, and then, the cold indifference came back. "Sorry, sir," she mumbled, before walking away.

* * *

She apologized? Severus watched the Rochester girl walk away more confused than he was than when he first met her. He allowed that seed of hope to sprout within him, only to have it crushed by the downpour that Dumbledore and the girl pelted on him. He kept allowing it to happen. He told himself that Julia was not going to return, that she was gone forever, but no matter how much time passed and how many times his hope was crushed, he remained stubbornly set in the belief that Julia was out there somewhere.

Then, the wretched Rochester girl arrived. The eyes! If the rest of the girl's face was blocked from view and all he could see were her eyes, he would think without any doubt that it was Julia. The electric blue was like a knife that pierced his soul and gave him more hope than he'd felt in years. Even her voice had a resemblance to Julia's, and then, the name. The one thing Julia had left him had been that book, and the name was a direct reference. It could not all be a coincidence.

Jane Rochester _had _to have some connection to Julia. He still had not ruled out that she was Julia's daughter. The name might not match, but if Julia ran because she was afraid, he could understand her changing her name. He would get the information from Dumbledore and pay Ms. Rochester a visit. The seed of hope was back, and it felt stronger than it ever had.

* * *

Sunday was a lazy day for most of the students except Julia who found herself at a table in the library surrounded by all of her books with the insane idea to review everything one more time. It was like being reunited with an old friend sitting at the table in the library that she had so often inhabited.

Julia looked up at the sound of footsteps, half expecting it to be Severus. She was surprised to see a girl about her age with frizzy brown hair come to a sudden stop when she saw Julia. "Oh! Sorry." The girl looked surprised to see someone else in the library.

"It's okay." Julia smiled and went back to her studying.

"What are you studying?"

Julia looked back at her. "Everything," she said with a laugh.

The girl laughed, too. "I'm Hermione Granger."

Julia sobered instantly. She hadn't expected this. She almost wished Severus had walked around the corner and demanded to know something else about her. "I'm Jane Rochester." She tried to sound friendly, but she feared that a slight edge worked its way into her voice.

Hermione took a seat across from Julia. "What year are you? I've never seen you around."

"I'm a fifth year, but I transferred this term from the American Institute."

"Oh! I'm a fifth year as well. What house are you in?"

"Hufflepuff."

"I'm a Gryffindor." She glanced at the book closest to her. "Are you taking Muggle Studies?"

"Yeah. I have it tomorrow after Ancient Runes."

"Me too!" Hermione grinned. "It will be nice to know someone who actually seems interested in the subjects." She indicated all of Julia's work.

Julia smiled. "It will be nice to just know someone."

Monday dawned dreary and damp, matching Julia's mood as she crawled out from under her covers. The rough night's sleep left her bleary eyed and cranky until she sat at the Hufflepuff table and drank a strong cup of coffee. She still had the dull ache around her jaw and eyes of exhaustion, and her mood did not lighten. As her first class drew nearer, she became quieter, drawing frowns from Lucy and Eliza.

They set off to Potions early at the insistence of Julia. A short queue stood outside the classroom, none of the other students looking happy to be there. Julia stood at the end of the line, her arms crossed in a vain attempt to warm herself. The cold was not because of the dungeon air but because of what awaited her for the next hour and a half. When the door swung open, Julia's heart exploded like a colony of butterflies had just been released into her chest.

When she entered the classroom, the only seats available were three in the front row. She repressed a heavy sigh as she took the only seat available after Lucy and Eliza scrambled for the other two – the seat in front of Snape's desk. It was going to be a long period, and the butterflies went into overdrive when Snape stood at the front of the room. He glanced at her, and the butterflies exploded. One look was all it took for Julia to lose all the work she had done for the past few weeks.

"Before today's lesson begins," Snape began, his gaze sweeping over them and straying on Julia for an extra second. "I feel it is imperative to remind you that you will be sitting an important examination next June, during which you will prove how much you have learned about the composition and use of magical potions. Dimwitted though some of you are, I expect you to scrape an 'acceptable' in you O.W.L. or suffer my…displeasure."

The cruel pleasure in his voice made Julia shiver, but she wasn't sure if it was in fear or excitement.

Snape continued. "After this year, many of you will undoubtedly cease studying with me. I take only the best into my N.E.W.T. Potions class, which means that some of us will be saying good-bye." Julia turned her head away as she winced, knowing he would not be returning to Potions next year. "We have another year to go before that happy moment of farewell, so whether you intend to attempt N.E.W.T. or not, I advise you to concentrate your efforts upon maintaining the high-pass level I expect from my O.W.L. students.

"Today we will be concocting a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace, which is used to calm anxiety and soothe agitation. Be aware: If you are too heavy-handed with the ingredients you will put the drinker into a heavy and sometimes irreversible sleep, so you will need to pay close attention to what you are doing." Snape flicked his wand and words appeared on the board at the front of the room. "The ingredients and method are on the blackboard" – he flicked his wand again and the cupboard at the back of the room opened – "everything you need can be found in the store cupboard. You have an hour and a half…start!"*

Julia was snapped from her trance-like state that his voice had put her in. She scrambled from her seat and went to the cupboard in search of the needed ingredients. If there was one benefit of sitting so close to Snape, it was her proximity to the blackboard. She had none of the other students who sat farther back reading the instructions. It was just a matter of being precise and not forgetting a minor detail.

As time drew to a close, Snape announced that a "light silver vapor" should be rising from their cauldrons. Julia sighed with relief. The vapor on the surface of her potion was a little dark, but at least it was silver. When time had ended, she collapsed in her seat. She pressed her palms into her eyes until she saw spots.

"The American Institute has lived up to its expectations, Miss Rochester."

Julia looked up. Snape was staring down his nose at her, smirking. The corner of her lips lifted in a half-smile. "They would be glad to hear it, sir." Her sarcasm was just detectable under the monotone. He moved on, leaving Julia to fill a flagon with her potion. She set it on Snape's desk and cleaned up her mess. She waited for Lucy and Eliza to finish their work and followed them out of the dungeons.

"Well, that was interesting," said Lucy as they emerged from the dungeons.

"What was?"

"Snape."

"Oh." Julia was not in the mood for elaborating. "I suppose." Actually, the interaction with Snape was more than just interesting. When she had looked into his eyes, the defenses in her mind had twitched. He had tried to break into her mind, and now, she was immensely unnerved. It had not occurred to her that he would ever try it, but now that he did, it opened up a completely new set of terrifying possibilities.

* * *

*Snape's speech is the one from Order of the Phoenix (chapter twelve) with some slight variations because I doubted he would recite the exact same speech for each of his classes.

**Author's Note: It took me a while, but I finally managed to find some inspiration. I have about a month left of summer class left, but after that, I'm hoping to focus all my time on writing. Maybe get most of the rest of Frozen completed. I have a few new ideas as well that I plan on developing. Plus, some originals that I'd like to post on my ficitonpress account. I hope my long absence hasn't deterred any of my readers from continuing their devotion to the story. I have not given up on it, and I will keep at it until it is finished. You have my word. By the way, do not forget about Julia's personal twitter account (her name is Julia_Sellick). She would love to have some followers. :) **


	25. Not an Update, but a Thank You

I'm sorry. This is not an update, but will you settle for a thank you?

Life has caught up to me, and I'm inherently depressed because it seems like the only time I am needed by my _friends_ is when _they_ have time. When they have issues or have something wonderful to say, I am expected to listen and be there. When plans are made to have fun, I am **conveniently** forgotten. Funny, huh?

The point is – I am feeling alone and unimportant. It happens quite often because of my wonderfully – (can you sense the infamous Snape sarcasm?) – spectacular **friends**, and this is where my thank you comes in.

It is because of you my readers that I continue on with this wretchedly dejected existence. When I receive reviews from you that give me praise and encouragement, none of the problems of my real life seem nearly as depressing. When I see a new review or a new alert or favorite, I am encouraged to keep writing. Thank you, readers, for your support. If it wasn't for you, then fanfic authors such as myself would be obsolete. Here's to you, wonderful readers. Thank you for all of your wonderful support and encouragement.

Sincerely,

M.K. Paine

* * *

I will update Frozen as soon as possible. I'm in summer class right now and I'm working at my university's archives. Time to write is a precious thing. Class is over at the end of June, but I move on to working basically all day everyday. We'll see what happens. :)


	26. The Trio

**Frozen**

**Chapter 24 – The Trio**

Julia walked into Ancient Runes with a sense of unease. Charms had been a walk in the park after studying magic for seventeen years, but Ancient Runes was almost brand new to her. She had only looked through a smattering of ancient texts, and now, she was entering a fifth year level class. The way she saw it, though, was a language, and it would only take dedication and memorization to get a hold of it.

Hermione waved her over to her table when she saw Julia walk into the classroom. "How's the first day?"

Julia shrugged once she had settled into her seat. "It's okay. I've only had Potions and Charms. Charms wasn't too bad, and Potions was…interesting."

Hermione grinned. "I heard that it was more than interesting."

"What?" The snap in Julia's voice matched the snap of her head.

"Rumors spread fast here. I heard that Snape acted strangely around you, and that is putting what I've heard mildly."

Julia shook her head. "I don't understand."

"Snape has three modes, I guess you could say. One, he's tolerant and almost kind to the Slytherins. Two, he ignores most of the others. And, three, he is cruel and malicious to those he doesn't like."

"And?"

"From what's been circulating, you didn't fit into any of those categories."

Julia rubbed her forehead. "What exactly have you heard?" But, she was going to have to wait to find out because Professor Babbling walked in at that moment signaling the start of class. It was not an ideal way to start a class that she was already concerned about being distracted by her relationship with Snape.

When class had been dismissed, Julia thanked Merlin for giving her the opportunity to befriend Hermione not only because she knew what was being said about she and Snape, but also because she had four years of experience with Ancient Runes that Julia fully intended to take advantage of.

"What's have you heard?" Julia asked as they walked out of the classroom and headed toward Muggle Studies.

Hermione glanced at Julia and smirked. "I heard the two of you were like verbal sparring partners, but almost in a positive way as if your sarcastic snark was rival to Snape's."

Julia laughed both from relief and from delight. "That's ridiculous. He could eat me alive if he chose to. He is as intimidating as a dragon."

Hermione chuckled. Muggle Studies was a fascinating class, especially for a Muggle like Julia. Magical fascination with things like electronics and appliances was almost comical. Julia sobered slightly when she looked at her Professor's face and realized that this woman would be murdered because she had an opinion that was "unpopular" with Voldemort. As a Muggle from America, Julia was faced with a myriad of questions about Muggles from America.

"What about the television?" Professor Burbage prodded. "We have spent some time researching Muggle television here, but we have not had the opportunity to discuss foreign television."

Julia blushed as all eyes turned to her. She cleared her throat when all that came out was a strangled syllable. "Well, I can't really tell you much. I didn't have a television at home." It was a partial truth. In her old life, they had owned a television until her mother had thrown a shoe through it, destroying it. They weren't able to afford another one.

She breathed a sigh of relief when Burbage turned away from Julia and continued with her lecture. Julia spent the rest of the period avoiding eye contact with her professor, and when she dismissed them, Julia was the first to scurry from the classroom. She leaned against the wall, waiting for Hermione who had not hurried out of the classroom as Julia had done.

When she did emerged, she smiled at Julia. Julia didn't like the sympathetic look in the girl's eyes. She hated being pitied. "Tough class?"

Julia shrugged. "I don't like talking about home."

"Do you miss America?"

"Sometimes. The food is weird here." Julia grinned at Hermione when she laughed.

"Hermione!" A voice called from behind them. Both girls stopped and turned, but their reactions to who approached were very different. Hermione smiled, but Julia paled as a tall, freckled redhead and a thin, bespectacled boy came nearer. They had already seen Julia with Hermione, so there was no escape.

"Who's your friend, Hermione?" Up close, Julia was nearly knocked over by the frightening resemblance Harry had to James. It made her stomach turn with a mixture of guilt, dread, and awe.

"This is Jane Rochester. She transferred from the American Institute. Jane – this is Harry" – she indicated James' double – "And Ron." – she indicated the tall redhead.

With some effort, Julia plastered a smile on her face. "Nice to meet you." She hoped the stiffness of her voice was only noticeable to her. Apparently, it was since both boys smiled at her in welcome.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," Harry said and Ron nodded.

"Would you like to join us for dinner?" Hermione asked, drawing Julia's gaze away from Harry.

"This early?"

"Harry has detention.'' She stared sternly at Harry, silently reprimanding him.

"Don't look at me like that, Hermione."

"You just need to control your temper."

"I shouldn't have to."

"But, you do. Regardless of what should be, the Ministry is endorsing the anti-Dumbledore and anti-Harry campaigns. We have to pretend to follow."

"It's stupid!" Harry's voice was a vicious snap. "They're stupid. Why is it so hard to believe he is back. Ignoring it won't make is disappear."

"Harry…I know." Hermione was imploring, trying to calm Harry down. "I believe you, but I can't help it if others don't."

"I believe you, Harry." Julia spoke up, seeing an opportunity to diffuse the situation and taking it.

Three pairs of eyes turned to her. "You do?" Harry sounded incredulous.

Julia nodded. "I don't understand how anybody cannot believe you. Well, I do, but it's fear that blinds them. The reality is that it makes no sense for you to lie. Even if you were seeking attention, which I highly doubt, then this is not the kind of attention most egotistical people want. Besides" – she shrugged – "I am a fierce protester of government interference in the press, and I disagree with you, Hermione. Just because the Ministry is against Dumbledore and Harry, _does not_ mean we have to pretend to agree. It only takes one dissenting voice to turn a crowd."

Harry smiled and Ron laughed. "You should talk to Fred and George. They love rebelling against the system."

Hermione glared at him as they started walking to the Great Hall. "Don't tell her that."

Julia grinned. She had never been much of a social person, but the past couple days with Lucy and Eliza and now with Hermione, had been fun. For the first time in…ever, Julia felt normal. Even when she had been at Hogwarts before, she had been separate from most students. She had socialized with only a handful of people, mainly Severus, which wasn't exactly socializing.

With a sudden though that floated through Julia's mind like a ghost, Julia stopped walking. _Books…_

The trio stopped almost as soon has she had and looked at her curiously. "Uh…I'm sorry. I forgot I was supposed to meet a couple friends for dinner tonight." Julia assumed Lucy and Eliza wouldn't mind if she joined them for dinner.

"Another time, then?" Hermione smiled at Julia and waved. "I'll see you in class."

Julia returned the smile and made her way to the library. A few minutes later Julia was sitting at a table in the back of the library, leaning her head on its edge. It was slowly registering that she had met Harry Potter and was friends with Hermione Granger. A low groan escaped her lips. She did not need this complication. Anybody but that group would have been better for her to meet and befriend. Hell! She would rather be friends with Draco Malfoy at this point. Instinctively, Julia rapped the wooden table without lifting her head. _Knock on wood_. She was starting to miss her introverted, friendless existence. It was much less complicated.

* * *

Life became even more complicated with the addition of schoolwork. Julia knew she didn't miss school for a reason. She had spent seventeen years working and living outside academia. Being back within academics was like stepping back to the middle ages. Everything was planned. The days ran on a precise schedule. Julia grew tired of it within a couple days. The work was fascinating, yet boring at the same time. The topics were fascinating; the work assigned was mentally draining. She had spent so much time teaching herself magic that having someone else do it was torture.

True torture came in the form of Potions. She had it two more times the first week; a single period of Wednesday and another double period on Friday. She had to start and end her week with Potions…what a joy!

She was not adept at cooking, so making Potions was almost disastrous. Her only savior was her attention to detail. Otherwise, she would have botched every potion she made. Still, she was only able to scrape an Acceptable from Snape, which she would gladly take given her disinterest in the subject. She had spent too much time as a Muggle with Muggle medicine to find Potions important.

Her "C" equivalent grade did irk Julia; her consistent good standing as a student had been with her too long. Fortunately, the written work made up for her miserable potion-making. She was hoping to average an Exceed Expectations by Christmas break.

Besides Potions, Ancient Runes was the only subject that was troubling Julia. It _was _language related, which interested the writer in Julia, but she had a hard time finding anything useful with the subject, which made it hard to focus on it. Otherwise, classes were easy and despite the boredom and monotony, Julia's life took on a pattern during that first week, but she knew it wouldn't last. She couldn't bear her life following a constant pattern. Something would have to change, and it would have to change soon.

Friday ended with Julia scurrying out of the Potions classroom closely followed by Lucy and Eliza. Snape had been watching her, which wasn't unusual she would have to admit. Her table was directly in front of his desk, and she would chat to Eliza and Lucy as she worked. He probably had trouble blocking out Julia's conversations, especially if he was still convinced Jane was Julia's daughter.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Lucy's question zapped Julia's hazy mind.

"Sleeping in."

Eliza laughed. "Good idea."

"I think I'm still on my summer sleep schedule." Or, the sleep schedule she'd been on for seventeen years, she corrected mentally.

The trio continued chatting as they made their way to the Hufflepuff dorms to drop their things off before going to dinner. Julia's thoughts about something needing to change soon had been wiped from her mind…for now. She had no idea that things _were _changing at that very moment.

* * *

Severus paced back and forth in front of Dumbledore, his wild eyes and twitchy movements giving the impression of a madman. "I know…I know the Rochester girl has a connection to Julia. I can sense it." Severus' roving prevented him from seeing the sad look in Dumbledore's eyes. "She's Julia's daughter." Dumbledore's face lost all traces of sadness in an instant. "I want to know where the Rochester girl lives."

"Severus…" Dumbledore started to say with a warning tone.

"No!" Snape's voice was a hiss, and he finally stopped his pacing and looked at Dumbledore. "There are too many coincidences. Her name…her eyes…her voice…her personality."

"You have known the girl less than a week, Severus." Albus was torn. Julia's condition had him sworn to secrecy, but Severus' plight cut him deeply.

"I knew Julia a day when I knew she was special." It had been his longest held secret. That day when he had healed her injuries, Severus had felt a magical stirring in his mind. He had kept it quiet and repressed it for years, but he now knew that it was no coincidence that he had found Julia that day in the library. She needed him, and after years of vehemently denying it, Severus realized that he needed her.

Dumbledore stared at the young man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Under the cold demeanor built up by years of torment was still the teenage boy who longed for his friend to return. Dumbledore had the impression that Severus was just as frozen as Julia.

Fate was a cruel mistress to intertwine two such different beings. Their existence, Julia's and Severus', were woven together because of inconsistent magic that could rip Julia away forever without any warning.

Albus had known from the moment he had seen her mind that Julia's existence in the wizard world was as reliant upon her own mind as Time Magic. In those first few moments when he had seen into her painfully open mind, he had felt her intense emotions. Subconsciously, her desperation to escape the hell in which she lived had called her to their world in that brief moment of limbo where most could continue on to the abyss that is the afterlife to the living.

Albus had not had the heart to tell her that her continued existence in their world relied solely upon her continued desperation to escape the world she came from. He lost much of his concern when her mind and emotions went into a frenzy when Severus had entered the office.. She had already loved him, but as the months passed, her love blossomed with their friendship.

When Severus had come to him desperately seeking Julia, Albus had feared that she had returned to her world. He had sent the owl praying that he was wrong. When it had returned with her reply, his relief had been marred only by her request that Severus not be told. Each return owl had brought Albus a breath of relief, knowing that she had not returned…yet. He could not fool himself; Julia would return to her world one day. It was only a matter of time.

It was this thought that had Albus handing over the address Julia had given him before the start of term.

Severus nodded his thanks to the headmaster. He swept out of the office, a glint of determination sparkling in his eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note: I would like to start by giving my most heartfelt thanks to all the reviews and messages I received in response to my last "update." Things have gotten much better, and I think I've worked things out. Your words of encouragement always made me smile, and I once again thank you. I hope you enjoy the update. The next chapter will be (I hope) coming soon. It will be interesting...that's the most I can say. :) Until then... Happy Reading.**


	27. Trouble

**Frozen**

**Chapter 25 – Trouble**

Severus stood across the street from a hotel. The piece of parchment Dumbledore had given him said that this hotel was the Rochester girl's home. _275 Tremont Street, Boston, Massachusetts, United States. _He had been staring at the front of the hotel for nearly an hour, but the whirlwind of emotions inside him had not settled. He had been angry for so long, so the bubble of rage pulsing through him did not faze him. The overwhelming disappointment was nearly debilitating. The hope that had wormed its way into his empty heart had been crushed with superfluous force.

He had to be reasonable, though. He had spent too many years thinking about things practically to break the pattern now. Regardless of the nearly zero chance that Julia was in this hotel, he had to be sure. If she was there, only mere feet away, and he did not follow through, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

With tremendous resolve, he walked across the street and into the hotel's lobby. It was clearly luxurious, marble floors, gold and maroon décor, and an air of sophistication. Severus was struck with the acute improbability of Julia, at least the Julia he had known, wanting to stay at a gaudy place like this. She had once told him that she wanted to see the world, not the garishness of luxury, over-priced lodging.

_They were in Julia's room, Severus in his usual armchair and Julia on her bed, scribbling in that journal she always had. It was one of the rare occasions that they had the chance to spend time together before their N.E.W.T.s. _

_He had been watching her intense concentration in curiosity. There was a crease between her eyes, and she brushed the end of the quill against her cheek as she frowned at the page in front of her. "What do you wish to write?"_

_She looked up, the crease vanishing instantly. Her intensity transferred to her eyes and she smiled. "Stories, but I want to travel, gain experiences, and use them in my work."_

"_Travel where?"_

"_Everywhere. America. Europe. Asia. Africa. Anywhere that is different. That's where my parents' deaths cause some issues. They had been willing to fund some of my adventures, but without them, my plans have to be put on hold."_

"_Where are you going to go first?"_

_She looked thoughtful. "Probably, America. I grew up there, but I've only ever been to Pennsylvania. We didn't really travel much. I want to see the historical cities. Boston. Williamsburg. New York. Philadelphia. Chances are better that I'll be able to find cheap hostels or something there."_

_Severus grimaced. "Why would you _want_ to stay in hostels? Aren't they horrid places?"_

_Julia laughed. He gritted his teeth both in annoyance and in pleasure at hearing her laugh. "No. I honestly don't care where I stay. To me, accommodations are where I sleep and I don't need five-star luxury to sleep."_

_He frowned and looked into the fireplace, contemplating her thoughts. _

_In the most distant reaches of his soul, he had the insane idea that he would like to join in her traveling someday. _

"Can I help you, sir?"

Severus ripped unwillingly away from his memories. The lady behind the desk was looking at him expectantly.

"Are you here to check in?"

He cleared his throat and silently searched her mind, but any memory of Julia was not near the surface. He did not have the time to dig into her memory to find it. "Do you recall a Julia Sellick checking in to this hotel?"

Nothing. There was nothing in her mind.

"I'm afraid that is confidential information, sir."

He walked away, aware that if he stayed, he may curse everyone in the lobby. As he passed another receptionist, a name passed through her mind that stopped Severus in his tracks. _Julia Sellick._ Her name passed through the woman's memory in recognition. The face that floated into her memory was one that nearly made him cringe. Waves of cold rolled over his skin and his heart clenched so tightly he was certain he would gasp for air at any moment.

He remained composed on the surface, as over a dozen years of cold, emotionless existence had taught him. He paused briefly at the door to allow a group to pass into the lobby giving him the ideal moment to search the woman's quickly fading memory of Julia's visit. It had been over fifteen years ago, and the woman remembered her because of the oddness of such a young woman wishing to stay at the hotel for almost two weeks. It was even more surprising that Julia had paid upfront; it was unusual for anyone so young to have such a large supply of money.

Severus was haunted by Julia's face for the rest of the night. Sleep evaded him. He had not expected this. He hadn't known what to expect. Her face passed in and out of his mind. Her eyes were lingering; the electric blue orbs had always been striking, but there was something within them in the woman's memory that struck Severus to the core. Heartbreak. He had seen sadness and pain in her memories, but nothing compared to the sadness that was in them in the memory.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. It was hard for him to look on the brighter side of this dismal situation that was his life, but it wormed its way into his thoughts in the early morning light. Julia had been alive at least a year after she had vanished. He somehow had to cling to the hope that she was still alive. She was probably traveling somewhere, writing everything she saw and did. He had to cling to the hope that his friend was still out there. It was all he had left.

* * *

The Hog's Head was crowded with over two dozen Hogwarts students intent on rebelling against Umbridge's oppressive regime. Julia had been cornered by Hermione after Ancient Runes one day, and Julia had not had a plausible reason to refuse. Here she was listening to Harry and Hermione talk and persuade a group of mostly underage wizards to do something most of them were not nearly prepared for.

"What do you think?" Hermione asked when Julia signed her name to the enchanted parchment.

Julia shrugged. "Seems insane to me, so I'm definitely in."

Ron grinned. Harry tried to smile, but only managed a slight grimace.

"I'll let you know when the first meeting is during class."

Julia thanked Hermione and left the pub. She was meeting Lucy and Eliza at the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer, and then, she was heading back to the castle, in a vain attempt to complete her homework. Schoolwork didn't interest her. Nothing did. She made an effort to make it look as if she cared, but more often than not, her time in the library was spent staring out the window.

More than once she had the feeling she was losing herself. She couldn't remember who she used to be, what she once wanted with her life. It was all lost in the mess of her mind, and for the life of her, she couldn't organize it.

Her light moments came during her times with Lucy and Eliza. They talked, did homework, and just had fun, and for a little while, Julia felt relieved of the tension she was constantly plagued with.

Her darkest moments were when she was around Professor Snape – he had ceased being Severus in her mind; he was not the same person she had known. The brutal realization of this had sent Julia spiraling out of control. She had barely made it to an empty classroom before she had had a panic attack. It had taken her almost an hour period to regain control of her breathing, and when she had left the classroom, she had missed Herbology.

After that, Julia avoided any contact with Snape. Class was the only time she was near him, and even then, she would not look at him.

She had completely and regretfully become Jane Rochester.

Weeks passed, and Jane Rochester became just another passing student. Teachers barely noticed her, except when she failed to turn in the occasional assignment. Only a few people knew who she was. For the most part, Jane Rochester was invisible. Except for a small group of Slytherin girls.

Julia had not forgotten her run-in with Daphne Greengrass, and she doubted that Greengrass had forgotten either. Julia waited with baited breath for her revenge. It would be nothing new; years of torment at school had prepared her for what was to come. It was only a matter of when it would happen, and how Julia would handle it when it did.

* * *

For a sports enthusiast, Julia supposed that a Quidditch match would be fun, but for her, it was a total bore. She had only come because Lucy and Eliza had insisted, and now she was spending her precious free time starting at the sky because it was the most interesting thing around. In one of the brief moments that she glanced at the field, everything changed when something fluttered into her field of vision, completely enthralling her with its oddness.

The creature looked like a bat-butterfly hybrid. It had the build and face of a bat, but the colors and the grace of a butterfly. The way the colors glinted in the sunlight and the curious way it moved had Julia enthralled. Every flap of its wings brought its influence closer to her mind. When the creature's wings brushed her face, it began to flutter away, pulling Julia with it. Her feet moved of their own accord, slave to the movement of the strange birdlike creature in front of her. Its influence over her quickly smothered the instinct that this was wrong. She followed it without resistance, and with a single step, it vanished from sight and so did its influence.

Her body twisted in the air so and she briefly saw the stand she had fallen from and who stood at its top, staring at her quickly retreating form before landing at a strange angle. The force of the impact had her seeing flashes of light, and there was a brief moment of numb shock, then there was a roar and the most devastating agony. Somewhere through the pain, she uttered a strangled scream that sounded more like a gasp. With her utterance of sound, the world came alive and so did every nerve in her body.

She didn't know how long she lay there is her debilitating agony. It was probably only minutes, but in her pain, it felt like hours. When someone called her name, the haze she floated in evaporated.

"Jane! Don't move, Jane! Professor Sprout is coming."

Julia couldn't stop a strange whimper from being uttered.

A louder, more forceful voice pierced the air."I'm going to take you to the Hospital Wing, Jane. Don't move."

Julia tried to nod, but she wasn't sure if she managed it. She started to move, but even her curiosity was not enough to make her open her eyes. When she was set upon something soft, she finally tried to look, but she couldn't find the strength. Something warm was poured down her throat, and the pain was immediately extinguished. The relief of pain brought with it numbness. Julia slipped into a pool of cool oblivion.

* * *

Severus followed Dumbledore to the Hospital Wing. He had been close to the Headmaster when the Rivas girl had said that Jane had fallen. Severus had followed without being asked and Dumbledore had not objected. They entered the Hospital Wing just as the nurse was shooing the Cameron girl out.

Severus did not know what to expect, but it definitely was not to feel horror or concern about the Rochester girl. Then, he looked at her and his stomach churned.

From the little skin that was visible, Jane was covered in ugly, splotchy bruises. He doubted the bruises were the worst of her injuries, but he hoped he was wrong. He wasn't.

"She had broken six ribs, an arm, and an ankle. Her head hit the ground with such force that she sustained a serious concussion. She also has substantial cuts and bruises," Madam Pomfrey reported sadly.

"Why has she not been healed?" He had not intended to ask the question aloud, but when McGonagall, Sprout, Dumbledore, and Pomfrey turned their gazes upon him, he knew he _had_ growled it in his fury.

"That is why I wished to speak to the headmaster." The nurse looked to Dumbledore. "The girl is resisting healing, which would only occur if she had on glamours. I cannot remove them without her permission, or yours since she is incapacitated."

Severus turned his gaze to Dumbledore and was shocked to see the Headmaster staring back at him sadly. He sighed. "You have my permission to remove the glamours, but I first must explain why she has them."

Dumbledore walked to the bedside. "This is not Jane Rochester. Jane Rochester, at least in this capacity, does not exist. She wore glamours to hide her true identity. It was at her request that I permitted this, and I felt I had no choice but to agree. She is, in fact, an Order member, but it was not her Order status that had her hiding who she was. She was hiding from someone she knew that she was at Hogwarts."

Severus, growing tired of Dumbledore's vagueness, snapped. "Who is she?"

With the saddest look Dumbledore had had so far, he waved his wand and the glamours vanished.

Severus went numb. He could not move. He could not think. One word escaped from his frozen lips.

"Julia."

"Severus." Dumbledore gripped his shoulder tightly. "Let us talk."

"No," Severus growled. He only wanted to stare at her. Something odd about her occurred to him about her, but he was too intent on seeing her again to care.

"She's not going anywhere. Poppy needs to heal her. She's hurt, Severus. Julia's hurt."

Severus flinched and allowed Dumbledore to lead him from the room. The next thing he knew he was sitting in Dumbledore's study. He found his voice.

"Why?"

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "There are many why's in this situation. Perhaps you can specify which one.'

Severus leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his forehead on his palms. "Why did she leave?"

"Ah. You ask the one question I cannot answer."

Severus' head snapped up. "No more lies, Albus."

"I am not lying, my boy. Julia never told me the reason she left. I believe she was ashamed. Of what? I can only guess."

"What do you guess, then?"

Albus shook his head. "I will not speculate. Only Julia can tell you what really happened."

Severus gritted his teeth and rubbed his forehead. "Fine. Why did she not tell me?"

"I believe she was ashamed. Ashamed of what happened. Ashamed that she ran away. Ashamed of her cowardice. You were – are – her closest friend and she was so ashamed of disappointing you that she was afraid to face you." Dumbledore sighed, but did not go on.

Severus glared out the window, unable to manage the swirl of emotions in his heart. "What _can _you definitively tell me?"

"I suppose you noticed, but in your shock, it escaped your curiosity that Julia remains as she was seventeen years ago."

Severus' head twitched. The something strange about Julia suddenly became obvious. "What? How is that even possible, Dumbledore? If this is another ploy to distract me from…"

"I assure you that I am not lying, Severus. Julia is frozen in her seventeen-year-old body because of the circumstances of her existence in our world. I am sure that you remember the first time you met Julia during a visit to my office. Only moments before, I informed her that she had been brought to our world."

"How?"

"She was born in 1990. At the age of seventeen, she was in her final year of school, taking university classes, and during one of her nightly trips to the university, on a winter's night, she was killed by an automobile." Severus gritted his teeth to prevent himself from flinching. "It was one of those strange magical occurrences that is beyond explanation. Instead of dying, she travelled thirty years in the past. Again, as I'm sure you recall, you healed the bruises caused by the vehicle, but she came to me only hours later in a panic. The bruises had returned, and I had the unpleasant duty of informing Julia that she would appear seventeen for thirty years."

Severus flinched again. He stared at Dumbledore for a moment, head spinning. He stood abruptly and walked from the office.

"She did not do it to hurt you, Severus. She did it to protect you."

He paused at the door and looked at Dumbledore indignantly. "Protect me from what?"

"She was under the impression that her presence in your life was endangering you."

Severus frowned and walked out of the office. He almost went back to the Hospital Wing, but his pride had him walking to the most comfortable place he knew. Julia's room was his only haven; the memories that were there were the most calm ones. During a time in his life when he was so certain that Dark Magic was all that remained in him, Julia had stuck by him, trying her damn hardest to prove him wrong.

He sighed and leaned back. His hope had not been for naught. Julia _had_ been in front of him for almost two months. He almost laughed at how right he had been. There were countless questions to ask, but for now, it was enough that Julia had returned. She was alive. She was safe. He would know the truth soon. He stared into the fire, imagining her smile and brilliant blue eyes, and for the first time in years, the lines in forehead loosened. The deep frown lines around his mouth slackened into the slightest of smiles.

* * *

**Author's Note: They will meet again soon. :) **


	28. FaceOff

**Frozen**

**Chapter 26 – Face-Off**

It had been three days. Julia had not woken up, and Severus had not slept. He couldn't sleep knowing that Julia was so close. He would wait until he knew Pomfrey had retired and then, he would silently ease his way into the Hospital Wing. He waited for her to wake, but she never did. Part of him was thankful because he wasn't sure what he would say if she found him there watching her. He had countless questions for her that he would never ask.

On the third night, he sat by her side like the previous ones. He stared unashamedly only because no one was there to see him do it, or so he thought.

"Are you hoping she will wake while you are here?"

Severus did not start. He wasn't entirely shocked that the headmaster knew he had been coming to see her. Dumbledore was the only one who knew how desperate he had been while she was gone. "I'm not sure."

Dumbledore put a hand on his shoulder. "You are both incredibly stubborn. Julia's stubbornness had her hiding herself from you for seventeen years. I think, perhaps just this once, that it is necessary for you to put aside your pride and take the first step."

Severus sighed, reluctantly admitting – only to himself – that Dumbledore was right. "How can things return to the way they were?"

"They can't. You and Julia have changed, but I believe that your friendship will still be as strong, if not stronger. She needs you as much as you need her, Severus. Julia is not as strong or as brave as you are. She is afraid of letting down those she cares for. She needs a friend who will accept her and protect her."

Severus remembered the memories he had seen during their Occlumency lessons. "She's stronger and braver than you give her credit."

Dumbeldore smiled. "I'm sure she is, but she does not feel that way. What are you going to do when she does wake?"

"I don't know, Dumbledore. I don't know."

"Do not allow your pride to stand in your way, Severus. Julia is your friend and will not think less of you for asking the questions that need to be asked."

Severus grunted disdainfully, but he knew Dumbeldore was right. Julia never judged him or scorned him because of who he was. She would never laugh in his face. He didn't want to ask the questions because part of him did not want to know the answers.

"Don't push her away because of her past actions. She needs you to understand. She needs you to forgive her." Dumbeldore left before Severus could question him further. He had a feeling that the old man knew why Julia had disappeared. Severus was almost jealous that Dumbledore knew, but he realized that knowing what it was that convinced Julia that he was in danger because of her was nothing to be jealous of.

He sighed again and stood up, too confused and tired to notice the twitch of Julia's hand as he left the Hospital Wing.

She was swimming through limbo. Her body was desperate to wake up, but her heart and mind were clinging to the oblivion where she and Severus were happy together. In those perfect make-believe moments, Severus was the man she had always known, and her wishful thinking was fulfilled and he loved her. Her sensible voice that told her that it would never happen was squashed and she was alive for the first time in years in her dreams.

When her body started to pull her away from her dreams, Julia mentally kicked and screamed, trying her hardest to hold herself in nothingness, but someone was calling her name. For a moment, she thought it was Severus, and she paused in her struggles and allowed herself to be pulled into consciousness. She lay wherever she was, eyes closed, listening for the voice to call her again.

"Julia, please wake up." It wasn't Severus, but she knew the voice.

"Remus?" Her voice sounded like sandpaper.

Remus sighed. "Thank Merlin. I was starting to worry."

She opened her eyes and closed them instantly to shield away the bright light. "What happened?"

Remus helped her to sit up, and she opened her eyes, seeing spots momentarily. He handed her a glass of water and she drank desperately. "You fell, Julia, from a stand on the Quidditch field. You broke an ankle, an arm, and six ribs, sustained a concussion, and bruised quite a bit of your body."

Julia blinked, unsure if she heard him correctly. "I don't remember that. The last thing I can remember is…" It all rushed into her train of thought. The strange flying creature. Following it. Falling and then, pain, agonizing, debilitating pain. "Oh my God."

Remus put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. Everything is okay." She saw him looking at her with concern and strangely enough, a little bit of fear.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"What is wrong, Remus?"

He sighed. "It's…well…"

"Spit it out, Remus." Her head was starting to ache from the light.

"Your injuries were resisting healing. Dumbledore had no choice but to remove your glamours."

Julia paled and a shiver of fear cascaded down her spine. "Does…was he…?"

Remus closed his eyes and nodded.

"Yes, he knows."

Remus whipped around. Julia's heart stopped and she trembled in fear. Severus Snape stood in the doorway of the Hospital Wing, his face inscrutable.

Without being asked, Remus stood and left the room before Julia could so much as open her mouth to protest. She glared at his back, but the glare slipped away when her eyes fell upon Severus. The man in front of her was different from the one she had come to know the past two months. She frowned. She could have sworn that this Severus was more like the one she had known when she was at Hogwarts the first time.

His eyes were emotionless, but he did not move nor did he stop staring at her. She couldn't stop either. She had to memorize every line of his face because she had no idea how long this moment would last or if there would ever be another one.

It ended too quickly. He walked into the room and stared out one of the windows. He remained silent, but Julia knew he was thinking hard. She was sure he wanted to say something, but his pride was preventing him from doing so.

She sighed and winced as a sharp pain shot through her torso. She would have to speak first, but actually doing it was nearly impossible. The tension was growing with each passing second, becoming unbearable.

When it reached its peak and Julia's pain was more emotional than physical, her hesitation faded. "Say something." She saw his hand grip the window ledge tightly.

"Why?" It was only one word, but it was better than nothing.

"You were in danger."

Julia didn't need to see him to know he clenched his jaw. "Why would you think that?"

She closed her eyes and willed away the memories. "I just knew."

Severus shook his head. "Something happened. Something that made you feel like you had to leave. What was it?"

"You were summoned, remember? I was afraid for you."

He turned around, his eyes intense when they found hers. "You could have come to me. I would have…could have…"

Julia sighed and looked at her lap. "Exactly. There was nothing you could have done. I left because it was the only thing I could have done. I knew you would follow if I told you where I was, so I disappeared."

"Why did you stay away?" For the first time, Severus looked sad. "After the Dark Lord fell, you could have come back."

She smiled half-heartedly. "Facing you – telling you I ran away was impossible. It became easier to stay away." She wanted to say so much more, but she couldn't bring herself to apologize or beg forgiveness. Severus would be even more disappointed in her for groveling.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. Julia smiled; it was one of his more endearing qualities. "Do you have any idea" – he spoke slowly, deliberately as if it pained him to say this thought aloud – "what it was like to enter your apartment and only find this" – he pulled _Jane Eyre_ out of the pocket of his robes – "and two words?"

Julia glared at her lap. "I didn't _want_ to do it!"

"You should have come to me. I would have done _something_!" His voice finally reflected something other than emptiness. He sounded angry.

Her head snapped up. "You were in danger!" Her voice was indignant with rage.

Just as Severus prepared to respond, Poppy entered the room, followed closely by Remus and Dumbledore. "It's good to see you awake, Julia." Dumbeldore smiled at her sadly, looking quickly from her to Severus who was staring at her intently.

Pomfrey forced them all from the room to check Julia's injuries. She and Severus exchanged one last moment of eye contact before he exited the room.

* * *

Julia turned her head to look at the inky sky outside the Hospital Wing window. Even the wretched sky reminded her of Severus. Madam Pomfrey had spent most of the afternoon urging Julia to rest; she was still weak from her injuries, but Julia's mind was racing like a thoroughbred.

Ignoring her shaky legs and aching body, Julia thrust back the covers and stood, her weak legs nearly giving out. She steadied herself and left the infirmary. The flagstone floor numbed her bare feet and the drafty air had her slightly regretting her foray into the empty castle.

Her feet carried her to the place her subconscious had been telling her to go since Severus had left. She didn't knock. After all, it was her door, wasn't it? She was not surprised to see Severus sitting in the armchair, but what had her stop short was the sight of his peacefully sleeping face. The calm face, the relaxed muscles, the way he glowed in the light of the fire almost had her in hysterics.

She made no noise as she walked to his side, her fingers outstretched involuntarily to caress his face. She longed to touch him, comfort him, protect him. When he shifted slightly, Julia started and her hand retracted as if it had been burned. She recoiled to the bed that was once hers and sat down, her eyes never leaving his face.

"I'm sorry, Severus." She had not spoken aloud, but Severus had flinched as if he had heard her. Her mental apology seemed to have broken Severus' peace. His face was contorted with a scowl and his head twitched from side to side.

Her world halted when Severus muttered "Julia." She blinked several times, not sure whether to run _to_ him or _from _him. In the end, she did neither because with a violent twitch, Severus was awake and staring at her, that same inscrutable look plastered on his face.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. This is – was – my room."

His eyes bore into hers, and her defiance broke. "I wanted to pretend for a moment that things were as they used to me." She searched his face for a sign that he was feeling the same turmoil that she was. His face remained smooth, but his eyes spoke volumes. Perhaps she saw what she wanted to see, but she was sure she saw chaos whirling around in the bottomless depths.

"Are you ready to tell me why you left?"

Julia snorted. "And rip apart what little sanity there is left in you? I don't think so."

Severus stood so quickly that Julia started, almost falling off the bed. He stood close, staring at her with such fury in his eyes that Julia felt a ripple of fear trickle down her spine for the first time. "Enough!" he barked roughly. "Stop trying to protect me, Julia. I am more than capable of doing that." As if sensing her fear, his eyes lost their fury and an inkling of despair took its place. "Don't you understand that I need to know? It has tormented me for seventeen years. I've imagined every possible scenario."

Julia grimaced, memories pouring forward and the words tumbled from her mouth without warrant. "Every scenario? Did you imagine…" She breathed deeply, desperately trying to prevent the sobs that had built up for over a dozen years. "Did you imagine me helplessly waiting for you to return? Did you imagine me forgetting what you told me about not opening the door? Did you imagine me in a fit of desperate relief opening the door only to see, not you, but two old schoolmates? I'm sure you can figure out the rest." She watched him, a sudden feeling of calm creeping into her soul. She watched as his blank face became an agonized grimace.

"I…Julia…" Only in complete shock would Severus stutter so wildly. He looked entirely lost for words. Actually, he looked simply lost.

"You never thought about that possibility did you?"

Severus shook his head. Without warning, he knelt by the bedside, pressing his forehead into the mattress. "I didn't _want_ to think of that possibility."

Julia chuckled. Seeing Severus lose some of his control had settled her slightly. "Funny. Neither do I." She breathed deeply. "Am I forgiven, then?"

His head snapped up so suddenly that Julia was surprised he didn't break his neck. "Forgiven?" He sounded as surprised as he had looked only a few moments before. "Forgiven for what?"

"For lying to you? For disappearing for seventeen years? For not trusting you enough to contact you? For being the absolute worst friend to ever exist?"

For what felt like the umpteenth time that evening, Severus surprised her. He stood up and pulled her with him. "I will not lie to you, Julia. These seventeen years have been the hardest in my life. Had you been there, it would have been easier." Julia winced, his words cutting her deeper than anything ever had. "But, if I were to blame you, I would be a fool."

She blinked, and then, after a moment, she laughed. "I had convinced myself that you would hate me."

"Never." It was the faintest sound, but since she was so close to him, she heard him.

Julia beamed and hid a sigh of relief. "Are we friends then?"

Severus frowned, his eyes thoughtful. It was obvious, to Julia at least, that he was battling with something. "Friends," he said, at last, and Julia was slightly crestfallen. For a moment, she had expected him to say something more.

Regardless of what she was expecting, his word had let loose a blossom of joy she had not felt for such a long time. Without thinking, or maybe she was thinking but she just didn't care, she slipped her arms around his neck. It was impulsive and stupid, but at this moment, she could care less.

"Thank you." It was only a whisper, but since her mouth was so close to his ear, she was sure he heard her.

They stood like that for a few precious minutes. Julia memorized everything she was feeling internally and externally for she was certain this one moment of affection that Severus granted would never happen again. Her throat was tight when she finally pulled away, catching a glimpse of disappointment on his face that was gone in a second, so she figured she had just imagined it.

Julia rubbed her face and wrapped her arms around herself. "I should get back before Madam Pomfrey realizes I'm gone."

Severus' hands twitched and his lips thinned.

"We'll talk soon. I promise."

He relaxed only slightly.

There was nothing more that she could do, so she left before she did something she truly regretted. As she walked back to the infirmary, Julia wasn't sure what she was feeling. She once thought that her emotions were chaotic, but that was nothing compared to the hurricane swirling in her now. What had just happened felt like such a dream she was expecting to wake up in the Hufflepuff dorm at any moment. She never expected to get any sleep that night after all that had happened that day. As she stared at the dark, she was briefly surprised to feel her eyelids droop. Then, she willingly faded into her dreams, knowing they would be pleasant.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, three things. **

**A: Sorry for the short chapter, but I thought you wouldn't mind considering there was some Sev/Julia interaction.**

**B: I am considering taking on a beta because I have so many ideas for ****Frozen**** that I need some help choosing. Let me know if you would like to possibly take on the job or know someone who is a good beta. **

**C: On a personal note, I have a tumblr that I'm considering posting either fanfiction and/or original work on. It's just an idea. If you think it's a good one let me know. I won't desert this site, but I'd like to start branching off a little. My tumblr name is **mkpaine. **The name of my tumblr is **Writing is Paine**. **

**Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review. They make me smile. **


	29. Detention

A special thanks to my wonderful new beta, **Alice Young. **Your help and nudges are greatly appreciated!

* * *

**Frozen**

**Chapter 27 – Detention**

Julia slept for a long time, or at least, it felt like a long time. When she opened her eyes, she saw that someone was sitting at her bedside. For a fleeting moment, she thought it was Severus, but Severus did not have a long white beard or a crooked nose. She pushed herself up to sit and looked at her Headmaster.

As if he sensed her disappointment, he said, "It is shortly after two in the afternoon. Severus is teaching, but I'm sure he will be by when he's done."

Julia nodded, but did not say anything for a few moments. She looked away from Dumbledore and out a window before she did. "I should be furious with you."

Dumbledore chuckled. "You do realize, of course, that you could have died if I hadn't removed the glamours."

Julia looked at him again, glaring. "Did it ever occur to you that, perhaps, that was exactly what I was trying to do?" She knew she hadn't been trying to off herself, and so did Dumbledore.

"Do not insult me, Julia. I know, despite how depressed you have been these last couple months, you would never harm yourself. I did what was necessary."

Julia huffed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. The greater good." It was the merest of mumbles, and she had not meant to say it. It seemed, though, that she would never be able to shake the deep rooted dislike of Dumbledore, no matter how much he did for her, and her pride prevented her from apologizing.

After a few moments of heavy silence, Dumbledore spoke again. "I came here to speak to you about what caused you to fall from the bleacher on the Quidditch Pitch."

In all the chaos, Julia had not thought about what had happened at the Quidditch game. She frowned as Dumbledore's words let loose an onslaught of memories. "There was some kind of creature, definitely magical. It was like a bat-butterfly hybrid, but it affected me." Even the memory of its influence had Julia feeling unfocused. She shook her head. "I lost control. Where the bird-thing went, I went. That's how I fell. It led me over the edge of the stand. I got a glimpse of someone standing on it before I hit the ground."

"Who was it?"

Julia hesitated, but with a heavy sigh, she said, "Daphne Greengrass."

Dumbledore frowned. "If you don't mind me asking, why would Miss Greengrass attack you?"

Julia chewed her bottom lip. "Because the day after I came to Hogwarts, Lucy and Eliza were giving me a tour. Greengrass started bullying them. I couldn't stand by and let it happen, so I insulted her. She didn't like it, and was about to attack when I beat her to the punch. I just made her fall over, but she swore to make my life miserable."

Dumbledore nodded. "I will inform Professor Snape." Julia frowned and Dumbledore smiled. "He is Miss Greengrass' head of house."

"And Julia's friend." Severus, who had been leaning at the infirmary door, entered the room and stopped at the end of her bed.

Julia genuinely smiled, glad to see him again. "And Jane's professor."

He grimaced and looked at the headmaster. "I will talk to Miss Greengrass, but by the sounds of it, whatever Julia saw was some sort of Control Charm."

"How long were you standing there, Sev?"

He looked at her again, a corner of his mouth lifting slightly. "Long enough."

Dumbledore chuckled. "I'm afraid that Miss Cameron and Miss Rivas have been desperate to see Miss Rochester. I think it would be wise that you resume your glamoured appearance."

Julia sighed, glancing at Severus' grimacing face. "I suppose," she murmured. She picked up her wand from the bedside table and with a wave, she was Jane Rochester again.

"I believe Madam Pomfrey would like to check you over once more, but you should be back in classes tomorrow." Dumbledore left abruptly.

Julia took a deep breath and looked at Severus who was staring at her, that stupid inscrutable look on his face.

"I hate it when you do that, you know."

"Do what?"

"That" –she gestured at his face – "that stupid look. I can't tell what you're feeling. It's annoying."

"Maybe I don't want you to know what I feel."

Julia's eyes narrowed. "When have you ever wanted me to know what you feel? Besides, I learned over time how to read you. You didn't have that stupid look seventeen years ago."

"A lot of things have changed since then."

She paused, her snarky remark being brought up short. He was staring at her with such intensity that her mind was wiped blank. "Now, that's not fair either," she said slowly, dazed.

Severus smirked, turning off his weird charm in a second.

"You're cruel, Sev."

"Yes, I know. By the way, Miss Rochester, I believe you should join me for detention on Saturday."

Julia's eyes widened. "What the hell for?"

"Manners, Miss Rochester," he warned, but his eyes glittered with well-intentioned malice. "I believe you confessed to attacking a member of my house a few minutes ago."

"Are you serious? She was going to attack me. What was I supposed to do?"

Severus frowned, and it struck Julia that she was being incredibly dense. How else was she supposed to spend time with her one-time best friend, now professor, besides detention without drawing suspicions?

She smacked her forehead. Severus raised a curious eyebrow. "I'm sorry, Se…sir. Of course I deserve a detention. See you Saturday, then." She grinned and shook with silent laughter.

A corner of Severus' mouth lifted into that crooked smile he had given her so many years before. Her breath caught in her throat and the grin faded into a truly blissful smile. Warmth enveloped her, encasing her in happiness like she had never felt. She had her best friend back. All her worries had been for naught. She was back at Hogwarts, which felt more like home than ever.

Severus' crooked smile vanished instantly. It took a moment for her to realize why; Lucy and Eliza had burst into the Hospital Wing, their broad grins fading slightly at the sight of their friend and Potion Master staring at each other.

Severus scowled at Julia. "Do not forget your detention, Miss Rochester." He swept from the room, and after a moment of stunned silence, Lucy and Eliza hurried to either side of her. Julia was suddenly overwhelmed with question after question.

"What was Snape doing here?"

"What do you have detention for?"

"Are you alright?"

"How are you feeling?"

"What happened to you?"

"What made you fall?"

"Who did it?"

"Stop!" Julia nearly had to shout to get them to be quiet. "Give me a moment." She took a deep breath so she could think. "I'm okay. Sore, but okay. I was overcome by a control spell during the Quidditch game that pulled me over the edge of the Quidditch pitch. It was Daphne Greengrass. I suppose it was retaliation for attacking her a couple months ago. Snape was here because she told him I attacked her. That's why I have detention."

"Whoa."

Both girls looked stunned, and Julia laughed. "Yeah, I had that moment of "Whoa" too."

Lucy and Eliza looked at one another and then back to Julia. "We could talk to Snape," Eliza said. "Explain what happened. How it wasn't your fault."

Julia smiled but shook her head. "I appreciate that, really, I do, but this is Snape we're talking about. There could be photographed evidence, and he wouldn't change his mind."

They conceded and ceased questioning her about Snape. Instead, they started on Greengrass and what they were going to do.

"We could always doctor some pictures to humiliate her. You know Greengrass. Her precious reputation means everything to her."

Eliza nodded. "We could always start some kind of story about her attempting to off Julia here."

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa." Julia frowned between the two girls. "No. There can't be any retaliation."

"What are you talking about?" Lucy asked incredulously. "She tried to kill you!"

Julia sighed. "I realize that, but it was her way of retaliating against my attack on her. Granted, it was a little extreme, but in my mind, I guess I consider us even. Besides, Snape and Dumbledore know what she did, so I doubt she'll get away with it."

Both girls rolled their eyes. "This is Snape we're talking about. He doesn't care if she almost killed you. He'll get her off just because she's Slytherin."

"Normally yes, but even Snape will have to acknowledge the severity of Greengrass' actions. She did almost kill me, and he can't simply ignore it."

Lucy and Eliza rolled their eyes but didn't bother her anymore about it; namely because Madam Pomfrey came and shooed them away, insisting that Julia needed rest. The matron stood firm no matter how much Julia maintained that she was perfectly fine.

"You may return to classes tomorrow, but I must insist that you remain in the Infirmary for one more night. You are still healing and I would like to make sure you don't do yourself further injury."

Julia slumped against the pillow, wincing slightly, in defeat. There would be no changing the woman's mind, so Julia drummed her fingers against her arm in her deep set boredom. She didn't know how long she sat there, consumed in dullness, but a sudden laugh made Julia look about. Hermione stood in the doorway, fortunately by herself, with her arms laden with books and parchment.

"What's so funny?"

Hermione tried to hide her smile but failed miserably. "You look so deathly bored."

Julia's eyes narrowed. "I'm glad my pain is entertaining for you."

Hermione huffed. "Do you want the homework I brought you or not?"

Julia's eyes brightened. "Oh, thank Merlin! Something to do!" She reached for the books and notes.

Hermione laughed again. "I figured you'd be bored in here. I remember how bad it was in my second year when I was trapped in here."

"What were you in for?" She paused to think for a moment, almost unable to think of the reason Hermione had been in the Hospital Wing.

Hermione ducked her head. "Uh…I accidently ingested some Polyjuice Potion infused with cat hair."

It was Julia's turn to laugh. "Really? Do you have pictures?"

Hermione glared. "No, I do not have pictures," she said sharply.

"Sorry. I wasn't making fun of you. I was just curious."

Hermione's glare softened into a smile. "I know." She coughed and looked around avoiding eye contact. "So…?"

"What is it Hermione?"

She rubbed the back of her neck. "Well…I was…"

"Just spit it out. I'm tired."

"What happened at the Quidditch game? The rumor is that you tried to off yourself."

Julia raised an indignant eyebrow. "No doubt started by Daphne Greengrass."

Hermione frowned. "What?"

Julia sighed. "Greengrass bewitched me to fall from the stand."

Hermione gasped. "But, why?"

"Because I attacked her when she bullied Lucy and Eliza." Julia laughed, smiling at Hermione's shocked expression. "So, the entire school thinks I'm suicidal, then?"

Hermione nodded solemnly. "It's almost the biggest news of the castle. Only Harry's expulsion from Quidditch is the bigger news."

Julia spluttered. "What!"

"Oh, that's right! You didn't see." And Hermione told Julia of Harry, Fred, and George attacking Malfoy and his cronies.

"Idiots," Julia muttered darkly.

Hermione chuckled. "That's just about right."

"I mean, seriously, what in Merlin's pants were they thinking?"

"They weren't. They're boys, remember?"

Julia rolled her eyes. "Of course. 'Attack now, think later' is their motto."

Hermione laughed. "When are you coming back to class?"

"Tomorrow. I don't think I can handle another day here."

* * *

Sure enough, Julia returned to class the next day amidst whispers and quick glances. Eliza and Lucy uttered a constant stream of "Ignore it. Ignore it," in her ear, but she was about one more mantra away from snapping at them to give it a rest. There was no ignoring the hurried double-looks she received or the snickering comments of malicious Slytherins.

"Do you think Snape will mention anything?"

"Huh?" Julia glanced up. She had been staring at her plate dejectedly, not the least bit hungry. Her aching body was starting to wear on her mind and energy. 'Just one more class. One more class' she kept thinking over and over, but it didn't help her much since it was Potions, which meant Severus.

"Do you think Snape will mention anything in Potions?" Lucy repeated.

Julia shrugged and winced. "I don't know. He already gave me detention, so I doubt he'll pick on it anymore. I'm not a Gryffindor, so he probably won't be too vicious."

"I suppose."

Julia was expecting something to be different with Severus, for better or worse, she didn't know, but still, there would surely be something different, right? When she walked out of Potions an hour later, Julia was more confused and slightly hurt than she had been in a while.

Nothing. Severus had done nothing. There had been no look. No recognition. No feeling. He had looked at her like he did not know that she really was Julia, and for the briefest of moments, she had the horrifying idea that she had dreamed their interactions over the last several days. In those few seconds, her stomach had churned with the ferocity of a wild hippogriff whose pride had been hurt. She had turned cold and clammy as if a dementor had swept by, and tears sprung to her eyes so quickly that she barely had time to turn her face from her friends. It passed as quickly as it had come, but for the rest of the evening, Julia was haunted with the painful memory of those few panicked moments.

Two days passed, and Julia was surprised to find that her "accident" had gone out of the Hogwarts rumor mill. No one seemed to care anymore, and while she was glad that the stares and whispers had ceased, she felt a tinge of disappointment that she had not meant more than a couple days of gossip. There were still no signs from Snape, but she had not forgotten her detention. At first, she had been looking forward to possibly talking with Severus some more, but with his indifference, she had lost the eagerness.

She approached his office door with utter trepidation on Saturday morning, no idea what to expect behind it. Her hand shook as she knocked and entered at his request.

Severus looked up nonchalantly when she walked into his office, but the moment the door shut, he waved his wand to lock it. His face was blank, inscrutable as ever, and her heart thumped painfully in her chest. Her nerves tingled like a thousand needles.

"Take off those wretched charms." He glared furiously at her, lips thin and eyes crackling.

With five words, Julia's fears were wiped away. She grinned. "Are you sure that's wise, Professor?"

His nostrils flared and he stood up, leaning over his desk. "I don't care," he snarled. "I dealt with seventeen of not seeing you, and now I only ever see Jane Rochester. I want to see Julia."

Her grinned faded into a smile of pure joy, and she let the glamours fade away. She sucked in her lips to prevent the laugh that bubbled to the surface when she saw his face and shoulders relax. She made to sit down, but Severus stopped her.

"No. We're not staying here."

"Where are we going, then?" she asked frowning and crossing her arms.

"Somewhere more comfortable." He walked around his desk to a door she had not noticed before.

"You are as confusing as Dumbledore sometimes."

Severus coughed. "I highly doubt that."

Julia rolled her eyes and followed him through the door into his private quarters. She walked into his living room and paused just inside, eyebrows lifting in utter disbelief. His sumptuously decorated living room was the polar opposite to the man she had always known.

The best way to describe it was…warm. A fire swirled in the fireplace sending dancing light across the walls that were covered with shelves and shelves of leather bound books. Their smell permeated every inch of the room, dry, old, and amazingly wonderful. The stone floor was covered with an amber rug, a pattern in a deep plum. Cherry furniture, richly upholstered in the darkest purple surrounded the fire.

Her feet plodded forward further into the room, taking in as much as she could. She tilted her head to read some of the titles of the books, her fingers trailing on the spines behind her. She walked toward the armchair. The soft material melded around her hand as she looked down at the book on the end table. A single finger traced the title, _Jane Eyre._ Julia could not prevent the sadness in her eyes when she looked at Severus who still stood near the door.

She waved an arm around the room. "This…" Her voice broke. "This is not what I expected."

His eyebrows lifted. "And what were you expecting?" His tone was lofty and Julia repressed another laugh.

"A Slytherin paradise. Cold lighting. Green and silver color scheme. Serpents everywhere."

"And how would you describe this?"

Julia turned about, thinking hard. "Well," she said hesitantly, "I would say it's warm…friendly. It reminds me of the room I always…" she faded away, blinking furiously.

Severus was watching her intensely, and she was sure he was remembering the same thing she was.

_It was another Saturday, and she was tired of writing and studying. The sense of restlessness was starting to overwhelm, so she had started to rearrange her room. She was straining to push her bed when someone cleared their throat. _

_She paused but didn't turn around. "Yes, Severus?"_

_He walked into her room. "Two things. How did you know it was me? And what the blazes are you doing?"_

_Julia looked up at him."I recognized your cough. In case you haven't noticed, you announce your presence by coughing quite often, and I am rearranging my room."_

"_Obviously," he said dryly. "What I mean is why are you going it like a Mu...Muggle?"_

_She glared. "Don't you dare judge me. I do it like a Muggle because I like knowing that I've done something. I remember when I didn't have magic. I don't like relying on it either."_

_He was frowning at her. "What?"_

"_I swear to Merlin you are the most confusing witch I've ever met."_

_Julia rolled her eyes and resumed her effort of pushing her bed across the room. A moment later the process became much easier and she was about to snap at Severus to not use magic when she glanced over toward the other end. The bed came to a screeching halt when she suddenly stopped. He was pushing the bed without magic just like her, and it was her turn to frown._

"_What?" he snapped._

_She shook her head and started pushing again, inwardly smiling. Twenty minutes later they had everything in its new place and they were relaxing in their usual spots; him in the armchair that had moved to the other side of the fire and she on the bed on the opposite wall, so she could see him. _

"_Why did you do this?"_

"_I tend to get restless when things are constantly the same. Rearranging my room is my way of switching up the monotonous pattern."_

"_And the new decorations?" he asked, picking up one of the throw pillows she had magicked. The purple pillow with gold detailing matched the rest of the new decorations. "Why these colors?"_

_Julia shrugged. "They're warm. I feel comfortable with the mix of purple and gold. It's almost friendly."_

_Severus lifted an eyebrow in indignation. "You're crazy sometimes."_

"_I know, but I like what I like. There is no changing it."_

_He looked into the fire, subconsciously holding the pillow in his hand. Julia looked at the book in her lap. The moment of strange conversation and comfort passed, and life returned to normal, only slightly changed. _

"What are you planning to do now?"

It was several hours later, and they sat across from each other on the sofa. It had taken him almost an hour or stiff questioning before he had relaxed, made tea, and settled into a comfortable conversation.

Julia could not be more thankful for how he was treating her. He had not blamed her. He had not questioned her anymore about why she left. He had only been curious about what she had done in the years she had been gone, and as the day had worn on, he had progressively become more and more like the teenage Severus.

"Julia." She looked at him. His voice was serious, and she was suddenly nervous. "Why didn't you tell me about being frozen?"

She sighed. "I was scared, Severus. It had just happened, and I didn't fully understand what was happening. I still don't. I didn't want to lose my only friend."

"What about your family? Did you make up that story too?" The slight tone of accusation stung, but Julia knew he had every right to ask these questions. She had lied, and he had every reason to doubt her.

Julia shook her head. "Everything I told you about how I grew up was true. The only thing that wasn't was that they died in an accident. Obviously, that was me. I didn't _want_ to lie to you, Severus, but I told the truth as much as possible. My only lie was about what happened to me."

Severus nodded, but she could not read his eyes.

She paused a moment but pressed forward. "Can I ask a favor, Severus?"

He blinked, but after a moment, nodded.

"Would you tutor me a bit in Potions? It was the only subject I couldn't really practice while away, and I'm terribly behind."

"You're asking me to tutor you? Why?"

Julia frowned. "You're my friend, and being the Potions professor helps, too."

His eyes had flashed on the word "friend" and for a moment, it seemed as if it was annoyance that washed over his face. "I'll tutor you."

She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thanks, Sev."

"Weekly lessons. Thursday nights. Seven o'clock."

"Yes, sir," she said obediently, grinning.

"I suppose you are free from your detention. You have been here for nearly five hours. I think that was suitable punishment for attacking Miss Greengrass."

Julia nodded and stood. She pulled out her wand, and was about to replace the charms to alter her appearance when a hand struck out like a viper and latched onto her wand wrist.

"Wait." Severus was staring at her, his eyes pure intensity.

"Severus," she whispered. Her vision faded except for his mysterious gaze. It grew closer and closer, and when she was sure there was no space left between their faces, she blinked and the trance was broken. His hand let go of her instantly and he stood straight again.

Severus cleared his throat. "I imagine your friends are wondering where you are."

Julia nodded and without another word left the room. Once outside the dungeons and on her way to the Hufflepuff common room, Julia paused to lean against a deserted corridor wall. If she wasn't much mistaken, she could have sworn that she and Severus had nearly kissed.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I know. I know. I know. Not very Snape-like, but the book-Snape is seen through Harry's eyes. I think it is possible for Snape to let down his guard when he's with someone he sort of trusts. Otherwise, there would be no Snape-Julia action at all, and as we all know, that's what the readers really want, right? I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading.


	30. The Holidays

A massive thank you goes to **Alice Young** for catching my glaringly obvious mistake and being a great nudger to get my creative process flowing.

* * *

**Frozen**

**Chapter 28 – The Holidays**

"Are you going home for Christmas?"

Julia looked at Lucy, her face flashing with indignation. "I don't have a home to go to."

Lucy's face crumpled abashedly. "Oh, Jane. I'm sorry. I forgot."

Julia nodded stonily. "It's okay." But, she really wasn't okay. She had spent the last hour or so listening as Lucy and Eliza detailed their extensive plans for Christmas. Both their families were eagerly anticipating the girls' returns. Normally, this wouldn't bother her, but Julia was feeling particularly lonely. The castle was alive with Christmas spirit, and while it was magnificently beautiful, the cheery castle seemed to point of what she did not have out of spite. Nearly everyone was talking about the holiday with their families, and for the first time, it severely bothered Julia.

Unable to stand the cheery common room, Julia stood, gathered her things, and exited through the door into the castle. The only place that did not spew Christmas spirit were the dungeons, and a couple minutes later, Julia was outside Severus' door. Since that first detention, she didn't bother knocking, especially so close to curfew. She had been down in his office at least twice a week – every Thursday for Potions tutoring and usually at least once more simply to talk - since the detention almost five weeks ago.

The seventeen years they'd spent apart had vanished into thin air. For brief moments, the castle around them didn't exist, and they were just teenagers again.

Severus glanced up when Julia entered his office, and dropped his quill upon seeing her dark face.

"What happened?"

Julia smiled wryly at his concern. "I'm growing tired of Christmas spirit." She slumped into the chair in front of his desk, leaning her head back and shutting her eyes. The cool dungeon air was refreshing after the overheated Hufflepuff common room.

"You and me both."

Julia looked at him. "I envy them," she said reluctantly. "Everyone is talking about their wonderful holiday plans. Their families can't wait for them to come home, and my mind says it over and over – 'I don't have that. I've never had that.' I hate being self-pitying. I hate it! But, family and love are everywhere and it's killing me."

He listened, eyes thoughtful but otherwise emotionless. Seeing her hurting was agonizing to him, though, and knowing he could do nothing to help infuriated him.

"I know there's nothing you can do, Sev," she said, as if sensing his frustration. "I know you understand and I just needed someone to listen." She needed more, though. She needed him to love her, but she knew it was a futile mission. She couldn't let him go, though. He was her addiction. He was the relief in her meaningless existence.

"You're staying at the castle, then?"

Julia nodded glumly. "I don't have anywhere else to go, do I?"

"You are spending too much time with me."

"What?" She frowned, entirely oblivious to where he was going.

"You are becoming more and more like me with each passing day."

"Well, get used to it because I'm not going to stop spending time with you."

"Good, but in all honesty, Julia, you aren't yourself. I can't believe I actually mean this, but I miss the annoyingly happy Julia."

"Gee, thanks, Sev," she snapped sarcastically, but she smiled half-heartedly.

They lapsed into silence, but Severus was looking at her thoughtfully.

"What, Severus?"

He spoke slowly, cautiously, almost uncertainly. "Come to Spinner's End for Christmas." It was said awkwardly as if he wasn't sure he meant it or not.

Julia gaped. "Wh…what?"

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Julia hid a smile behind her hand. "You said yourself that the castle is driving you towards madness. I'm tired of being here, as well, and quite frankly, after being apart seventeen years, I have no desire to spend time away from you."

His grumpy tone made her smile. He was so reluctant to express feelings it was almost hysterical. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am," he snapped.

"Okay, then." She grinned at him, stood, and walked over to his side. She leaned down and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Thanks, Sev," she whispered in his ear, and resolving herself, she lightly pressed her lips to his cheek for the briefest of moments.

Severus watched her practically skip from his office with a look of obvious disbelief, his fingers lifting slowly to his cheek where her lips had pressed only seconds before. It occurred to him – too late now – that perhaps having Julia at Spinner's End for Christmas was about to be too much temptation for him to handle.

* * *

One week was left. Over and over Julia told it to herself to keep herself from checking out of school seven days early.

"You're distracted." Hermione pulled Julia to the side after Ancient Runes Wednesday afternoon.

Julia frowned at her. "So are you." She hadn't been so self-obsessed to miss Hermione's tapping quill or sucked in lip.

Hermione rolled her eyes and started walking. Julia followed her, waiting for her to talk. "Ron's dad was injured and Harry and Ron went to stay with the family. I have to wait until term."

"And you don't like missing the action?"

"I don't like not knowing what is happening."

"Understandable." Julia remained silent for a while.

Hermione huffed after a minute of silence. "Well?"

"What?"

"What's going on with you?"

Julia shrugged. "I'm ready for classes to be done for a while."

Hermione looked at her curiously. "I don't understand you. You do so well in classes. Obviously, you are a born learner, but you have a clear disdain for school."

"I like learning on my own pace," Julia said nonchalantly. After that, Julia subtly led the conversation away from such touchy and dangerous topics.

* * *

"Does Dumbledore know about this?" Julia asked, as she set her bag of belongings on the floor of Severus' office.

He nodded. "I thought it best that he knew where you were off to. It would have been odd if you had simply vanished from the castle. He seemed overly pleased with the idea, though."

Julia's eyes narrowed. "What on earth would he have to be pleased about?"

Severus shook his head. "Nothing I can think of." At least nothing he would voice aloud. "We'd better get going. We're apparating outside the castle gates."

Julia nodded and followed him out of his office, pulling her cloak's hood up to hide herself. She didn't need someone witnessing Severus going off with a student to heaven knows where. Once outside the gates, Severus held out his arm.

She grimaced, resigning herself to the uncomfortable travel of apparition. The butterflies, dormant for a while, fluttered into life as she held tightly to his arm. She liked being near him, but her stomach did not reflect it. She ached to stay near to him, more fiercely than she expected, but as soon as they were within the confines of his house on Spinner's End, Julia released his arm and stepped away from him.

"Good God, Severus. Could you get any more books?" she asked, looking around the dismal room not in disgust but amazement.

She missed his smirk as she stepped up close to examine some of the covers, and within moments, she glanced back at Severus, incredulity plastered over her face. His smirk dropped like a hot potato. "_Summer's Pleasures_," she hummed melodically, eyebrow raised. "Interesting choice."

Never in all the time that she'd known him had Severus blushed or looked more distraught than at that very moment. "I…it…" He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It belonged to my mother," he said through gritted teeth.

Julia sucked in her lips to hide the laughter threatening to boil over. She cleared her throat before speaking. "I figured as much, Severus. I was only teasing."

He pursed his lips and glared, but Julia's grin did not waver. He huffed. "Glad to see you're back to your old self." He grabbed her bag that she had set down upon arrival. "I'll show you to your room."

A bubbling joy slid through her heart when he said "your room," and she hadn't a clue as to why. She followed him through the neglected house to a room on the second floor. It was plain and rather malnourished, so to speak, but otherwise perfectly habitable.

"Thank you, Sev."

"For what?"

She looked at him and frowned. "For getting me away from the castle. For spending Christmas with me. For being my friend. Take your pick."

He shook his head. "Good to have you back, Julia." He stepped out, allowing her to settle in.

The following days were more comfortable and relaxing than she had expected. The awkwardness at spending so much time together or by being in the same house did not arrive. Rather, they spent their time talking, Julia poking fun at the books that used to belong to Severus' mum and Severus prodding her for information about her adventures. He seemed to be aware when he approached tough topics for her and would maneuver away from them to happier memories.

When Christmas Eve arrived, the only sign of the holiday were the lights that shone in through the window from neighboring homes. Neither of them had mentioned decorating or the holiday, at all. They were comfortable in the sitting room, Severus in the armchair reading the Prophet and Julia curled up on the sofa, reading, or rather, trying to read.

While she pretended to be ignorant of the holiday coming in only a couple hours, old memories of Christmas flitted in and out of her mind. She couldn't recall her ever having a happy Christmas. Her parents were either at Christmas parties that she was not invited to come along to or they were merrily drinking and celebrating the holiday at home, into which she was not allowed to invade. They were painful memories. She was always gifted heartily, but it never mattered the slightest to Julia. She wanted her family to celebrate with love, but never once did that wish come true.

An idea, building up over her hours of contemplating her past Christmases, possessed her like demon from the fiery pits of hell. She couldn't do it. Surely, it would end badly, but she reasoned, even if it did, Severus would know she had been telling him the truth.

Reservations shoved aside and locked tightly away, Julia stood up. Severus looked at her over the newspaper, eyeing her curiously. "Julia?"

Julia took a deep breath. "I have something to show you, Severus. Not really a present, but still, it's something important."

Severus nodded but frowned as Julia wrapped her cloak around her shoulders.

"I want to show you my home."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I know it's short, but I will have another update very soon. I promise it will be well worth this short chapter. *mischievous grin* Happy Holidays!


	31. A Present

**Frozen**

**Chapter 29 – A Present**

"Here." Julia offered Severus her arm. "I'll apparate us there."

He took her arm, and she interlocked their arms. A quick spin on the spot and a few breathless seconds later, Julia was standing outside her childhood home. She didn't – or it was more like she couldn't – let go of Severus' arm. The sight of the brightly lit façade of the home she had known for seventeen years had tears welling in her eyes.

"You don't have to do this, Julia."

"Yes, I do. You need to see that I wasn't lying about my childhood."

"I believe you."

She looked at him with hard eyes. "Well, we're here for me, then. It's been seventeen years since I saw my family. I need this, I think."

Severus nodded, and they walked arm in arm like a strange couple, contrasting wildly against the pure white snow that shone blue in the moonlight. They walked up to the pathway in front of the house and looked in the large bay window into the living room.

The room was sumptuously decorated, a large tree with plenty of lights in one corner and warm candles flickering.

"It always smelled like vanilla at Christmas. I still despise the scent."

"Where are you?" He looked passed the two adults that were merrily drinking and toasting Christmas eve that vaguely resembled Julia, searching the room for any sign of her five year old self.

Julia smiled sadly and pulled him around to the other side of the house. They looked through another window, into a small bedroom where a small girl sat on her bed with a blank tablet and crayons, furiously coloring.

"I hadn't learned to write, yet. Coloring was the only thing I could really do alone in the winter."

Severus looked away from the young woman beside him to the little girl that was the same woman. Julia's hair had darkened; as a child, it was a wavy mess of golden curls. Her electric blue eyes were alive with the innocence of a child, and his heart constricted at the emptiness that had taken the place of her purity. As he watched with a ripped heart, young Julia bounced off her bed and scurried out of her bedroom.

He had instinctively walked around the house to see what happened. When he arrived at the front of the house, he witnessed young Julia bouncing around her parents' feet, eager to show them her drawing. He was transfixed on her face, and he could not hear what was being said. As he watched Julia's round face fall in hurt and disappointment, he realized he did not want to know what was being said. He turned away from the window to look at Julia but found that she wasn't by his side.

His heart pulsed with panic. "Julia," he hissed quietly, turning the corner to the side of the house. She was where he had left her, staring into her bedroom window. It only took the briefest glance to see that she was crying.

"Come here." His voice was softly sympathetic as he pulled her into his arms without hesitation. He knew this heartbreak, and he would never wish this on anyone, least of all Julia. "Are you ready to go?"

Julia nodded into his chest, and Severus spun on the spot.

When they were back in Spinner's End, Severus sat Julia on the couch, and a moment later, he was pressing a glass into her fingers. She took it numbly and took a gulp.

She gasped.

"It's Firewhiskey."

She glared at him, but as she did, the heat of the drink settled into her stomach and spread through her heart. "A little warning next time," she choked out, still trying to breathe properly.

Severus smirked but nodded, taking a sip from his own glass.

"What exactly was the point of that?"

Julia shrugged, hanging her head over her glass.

"Julia." She didn't have to see his face to know he was exasperated with her. "I believed you. You were just starting to be yourself again, and you insisted on ruining it. Why do you want to be miserable?"

Her muscles tensed and her jaw clenched. She flew off the couch, glaring ferociously at Severus. "You think I _want_ to be miserable?"

He frowned at her, but otherwise seemed unconcerned about her flare-up. "You were happy again, and then, you decide to ruin it by returning to a miserable part of your life."

Her glass shattered on the floor, as livid blood pulsed through her veins. "You have no idea what it is like. I'm stuck like this!" She waved her hand up and down in front of her. "I haven't changed for seventeen years. And I still have another thirteen to go. Despite the hell that was my life, I was ripped away from it without any warning. Regardless of what it was like, I'm still attached.

"This wretched holiday has had me thinking about what I never had, but despite it all, and I can't believe I'm actually saying this, I miss it. I miss my house, the room that was entirely my own. I miss the security of my future. I had plans, college, a career. What's going to happen to me in thirteen years? Will I die?" He flinched.

"I'm scared of what will happen when this is over. I don't know. Nobody does. I'm alone in this, and I'm scared, Severus. I'm so scared." Her heart hammered wildly. She had no idea where her tirade had come from, and shame and embarrassment colored her face at Severus' strained face. "I…I'm s…sorry." Wrapping her arms around herself, she hurried from the sitting room, her face hot with tears.

She sunk to the floor beside her bed, leaning her head back, willing the tears to stop. She had barely contained the tears when the door slowly opened, and beneath her shame, Julia was surprised. She had never expected Severus to follow her, and yet, he was kneeling next to her, pressing another glass into her hands.

She looked at him but couldn't find words. She watched in awe as he settled on the floor beside her, sipping from his own glass. After an eternity of mere moments, he spoke, his voice strangely hoarse. "You're not alone. You're a fool if you think that I wouldn't be there."

Julia took a hefty swig of Firewhiskey, swallowing slowly. She allowed the heat to settle before responding. "I'm not even certain why I'm upset."

"You're scared." She flinched even though his voice was as far from biting and harsh as she had ever heard it. "I'm a selfish bastard for not realizing it sooner. I was consumed by your return that it never occurred to me that you were being affected the magic of your state."

"It's never bothered me before."

"I think it's always been a weight on your mind, especially back when I first met you. Even as we grew closer, there was always distance in your eyes. I think with so much time all the emotions have built up, and you're on your last leg."

She looked at him incredulously. "When did you start understanding me so well?"

He looked at her, eyebrow raised. "Just because I don't always speak doesn't mean that I don't pay attention."

"I never doubted that, Severus." She took another drink, and settled in closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Whether it was the Firewhiskey or her fragile emotional state, Severus did not tense or pull away.

They were silent for several relaxing minutes, the only sound from when someone took a drink. Julia wasn't sure how she felt about Firewhiskey. The more she drank, the calmer and warmer she felt. It was a strange yet not wholly unpleasant feeling. As the drink settled in her, her senses heightened. The fabric of Severus' shirt caressed her cheek almost like an angel's wing. Whatever he used to clean his clothes or his aftershave took over her sense of smell, and she was high on its clean, masculine aroma.

The drink stemmed the sensible protests her mind was screaming as she shifted her head to look at Severus. Sensing her movement, he looked at her, and his eyes were glazed, looking at her as he had never looked before.

In her warm haze, she felt his fingers slide gently over her cheek and down to her arm, leaving a trail of prickling delight behind him. She closed her eyes, sighing.

"Julia." His voice was hoarse, from the heat of the Firewhiskey, no doubt. She suspected her voice would be just as hoarse if she had the capability of speech.

Her eyes opened slowly. His face was mere inches from her, and she would have withdrawn, out of pure instinct, had his hand not snaked around her neck, securing her from moving anywhere but forward. And, that is exactly where her face moved, forward, as his did, and her eyes slid shut just as his lips captured hers.

Their glasses tumbled from their fingers and across the floor, but neither Julia nor Severus paid them any mind.

His hands were pressing her closer to him. His lips glided over hers so deftly that she her heart trembled and her body melded against his with a feverish want. Her lips parted at his prodding and he struck within her mouth like a serpent releasing its venom. She sunk further into the haze of paradise, allowing him to pull her upwards. Her fingers felt cool silkiness, and she vaguely realized her hands were entwined in his hair, securing him to her.

She succumbed to the raw need in her, and moments later, after clashes of hungry hands and gasps of frantic desire, a heap of clothes fell to the floor.

* * *

Christmas morning dawned sunny and bright much to Julia's dismay. Her head ached so fiercely that when she dared to open her eyes they watered from the pain of that bright light. She groaned and buried her head into the bed, and then, she froze. When she had groaned and moved, someone else had moved.

Julia turned tremulously, and her wildly hammering heart paused in its absurd rhythm upon the sight of Severus. She squeezed her eyes shut, thinking as hard as her pulsing brain would allow. What had happened? The memories were on the brink of consciousness but were shadowy and unclear. Damn Firewhiskey. She made a mental note never to drink the stuff again.

She sighed. First thing first. She had to move and find something to clear her head. It was a treacherous mission considering her legs and the sheets were tangled around Severus. She managed, with several near-wakes, to dislodge herself from the bed and stumbled across the room, scooping up her clothes in the process, and securing herself within the walls of the bathroom. She tugged on some clothing, and stumbled to the sink. As she ran the faucet for a glass of water, Julia glanced downwards and frowned, her thoughts hazy but whirred into action by the blotchy blue mass printed on her side.

There was something important about the bruises. With eyes shut tightly, she tried to remember using the bruises as a guide. A hand brushing the marks. A wince and gasp of pain. Soothing relief. Her eyes sprung open as her breath hitched in her throat. Pieces of the night flashed in her mind.

Searing lips on sensitive flesh.

Skin imprinting on skin.

Writhing limbs complete with pulsing need.

Powerful drives.

Piercing rapturous clouds.

Animalistic twisting and turning.

Flashes of light at the delirious peak.

Julia gasped, body and soul overcome. The details were still blurred, but she was in no doubt about what had happened. She grasped the edge of the sink tightly, eyes flicking back and forth wildly, her mind searching for a solution. She wanted to run, get away from Spinner's End. She couldn't face Severus after what they had done.

The thought of leaving filled her with so much guilt that the thought flew from her mind. What was she to do then?

It appeared that fate was going to make up her mind for her.

"Julia." Severus' voice was soft but beckoning. "Come out here…please." He was obviously strained, but she could tell by the gentleness of his voice that he was trying to be as calm as possible.

She took a deep breath. "Just…just a minute." She swallowed a few gulps of water and slipped on the rest of her clothes, and with a trembling hand, she opened the door.

He had dressed, but his hair was still disheveled. She had another flash of memory; fingers entwined in hair guiding a face to caress sensitive flesh. Her face reddened, but there was no hiding from him. She stepped out of the bathroom and stood in front of him, arms wrapped around herself.

Severus sighed. "What do you remember?"

"Enough to get the gist of what happened."

"I don't think this is the time for vagueness."

Her eyes flashed. "I'm not being vague, Severus. I only remember bits and pieces, but I remember enough to know what happened."

He looked nervous, and Julia realized that this was as frightening for him as it was for her. "We can't ignore this, so what do we do?"

He shook his head. "I honestly don't know, Julia."

She had to ask even though she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer. "Do you regret it?"

It was his eyes that flashed dangerously. "How can you ask that?"

"Well, do you?"

"Of course not."

"Do you remember all of it?"

"More than you, obviously."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," he said shortly. He took a deep breath. "I don't want to ignore this, Julia."

She lifted a curious eyebrow. "Which means what exactly?"

"This," he growled and reached out to pull her close to him. Then, his lips were on hers.

Kissing Severus sober (or at least, hung over) was quite different from when intoxicated. He was not gentle, but she had no objections. His lips singed hers, and all remnants of the Firewhiskey were zapped from her system.

How odd it was to kiss him. She'd never thought it possible for him to see her as anything more than a friend, but as his tongue swept along her lower lip, she had never doubted herself more. She gasped wildly when he released her lips. Her heart hadn't moved in the kiss, but as soon as he pulled back, it had whirled into frantic action.

"Like I could ignore that," she huffed. She braced herself on his chest.

He looked down at her, eyes glittering and smirking deliciously. "Good." He released his hold on her, much to her dismay. "I'll get you something for your head."

Julia nodded, not wanting to admit that his kiss had done away with any sign of a hangover. When he had gone, Julia sat gingerly on the edge of the unmade bed, staring at her twisting hands in her lap. A warm glow of happiness surrounded her, but why did she have the unexplainable desire to cry?

* * *

**Author's Note:** All I have to say is Merry Christmas! And thank you to **Alice Young!** Awesome encouragement as always.


	32. Confessions

**Frozen**

**Chapter 30 - Confessions**

Severus could not fathom what was going on with Julia. As the days after Christmas progressed, Julia's quiet contemplation became sullen melancholia. She hardly spoke, and when she did, it was meek and practically fearful as if she was nervous she would say something wrong. Her lifelessness frightened him almost as much as the sobbing. He heard her every night crying herself to sleep. He would wait outside her door each night, silently praying that he wouldn't hear the sniffing and heaving that came with her sobs, and every night his hopes were crushed.

It was the white elephant in the room whenever they were together. Julia was too keen to not know that he heard her crying every night, but she was too embarrassed to say anything. He was too proud to admit he listened outside her door, hoping to hear more than just sobs. He truly despised the agonizing awkwardness that filled the air like a heavy mist, but he could think of no way to make it evaporate.

"Severus?"

He hid his wince at her timid tone behind his newspaper. He lowered the paper and frowned. She was wearing her cloak, but he didn't see any of her things so she couldn't be leaving. Surely not.

"I'm going to visit Remus. He's been asking all break, and I don't think I can ignore him anymore."

"You could refuse," he mumbled through gritted teeth.

He saw her jaw clench, and he hoped for a snappy response. Instead, her hands loosened, and her eyes reflected nothing. "I can't, Severus. I will be back tonight, though."

Seeing no other option and having no right to stop her, he nodded and watched her leave. He had a gut-wrenching sense that Julia meeting and talking with Lupin would either bode very well or very badly for her and Severus' relationship.

"Well?" Julia looked desperately at Remus who had listened silently while she told him about what had happened with Severus. Her face was still dyed scarlet from her heated blushes, but she needed Remus' advice too much to really care about her shame.

Remus shifted, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips. He hadn't betrayed any discomfort or embarrassment while she talked, so she had been emboldened to keep talking, sharing perhaps a little more than was comfortable.

"What do you want to come from this, Julia? You've told me everything except that, and I can't help but wonder what your intentions are."

"You make me sound like a fickle harlot that flits from man to man."

Remus laughed. "No. No. Of course that's not what I meant, but what was this for you?"

Julia shook her head. "I don't know. I have the feeling that it probably meant more for me than it meant for Severus."

He shook his head indignantly. "Are you really that oblivious to how much you mean to him?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's something you have to figure out yourself, Julia. Talk to him. If you keep avoiding it, as time goes by, it will be harder to do."

"I sort of figured that much out for myself, thanks." She sighed, the bitter tone of her voice fading into desperation. "I…I don't want to lose him again, Remus." It was no more than a whisper, and she could hardly admit the words to herself, let alone voice them aloud.

Remus grasped her shoulder firmly. "You won't. Get him to talk. You know how stubborn he is, but if anyone can make him talk, it would be you."

"You overestimate me," Julia said with a roll of her eyes, but she smiled.

* * *

Julia knew that Severus wasn't aware of her presence since he didn't move as she stared at him. Looking at him, the speculative eyes as they scanned the book's pages and the black hair falling in pieces around his pale face, jump started her heart and made it ache with an unexpected longing. She closed her eyes to grip feebly at the memory of their night together. The feeling of love and tenderness they shared was the only thing that was going to give her the courage to make it through this conversation. _"Breathe. Just breathe."_

"Julia?"

Her eyes popped open, and the breath she was making herself take was caught in her throat. He had lowered the book and had pushed the hair away from his face, revealing the pensively curious gaze he was sweeping over her.

After extricating her arms from around herself in an almost comic fashion, Julia sat gingerly on the edge of the threadbare sofa, but after a moment of fidgeting nervously, she bounced to her feet and started pacing around the room. She stared at her twisting fingers, thinking hard about how to approach such a disastrously difficult topic.

"What is going…"

Julia held up a hand. "Give me a minute," she mumbled, but he could undoubtedly hear her. Her pacing picked up its swiftness as her heart rate accelerated with the thoughts that swirled in her mind. It took her a couple minutes of pacing and thinking to finally pause her stride. She couldn't bear to look at him as she talk to him for fear of losing her nerve, so she settled to look out the window at the dim street view.

With a sigh, she began, halting occasionally to rearrange her wording. "Seventeen years ago you stumbled into my apartment half-dead from a battle with the Cruciatus Curse. I never told you how sick with worry I was for you. I'm not healer, Sev, and if we hadn't have talked about _Relaxare Corpus_ before, I would have been helpless. I did feel helpless that night, not knowing what I could do to help you. I never told you that you shouted in your sleep, if you could call it sleep, and I was afraid to touch you for fear of making it worse. I was up for the night half-sick and half-hysterical with worry.

"When you woke up, I made you tell me about everything. You told me about being a Death Eater. You made it clear that you thought I would abandon you. You wanted me to hate you. I knew that just by the look on your face, but I don't think it's actually possible for me to hate you, Sev."

She shook her head. "I'm off-track. What I'm trying to say, Severus, is that I don't want a repeat of that night. I don't want to find you practically convulsing in pain and have to force you to tell me the truth. You know you can trust me. I would die before betraying you, so I'm asking for the truth." She turned around to look intently into his eyes. "Will you tell me what, to a certain extent, I already know?"

His face was blank, but Julia was certain his mind was spinning as much as hers. His eyes flicked away and back again, betraying the nerves that wracked him. "This was not what I expected."

Julia silently sighed and walked to sit on the sofa. "I like to blindside you," she said with a half-shrug.

His lips twitched, but he remained stoic. It was several minutes of thoughtful observation before Severus looked at her again. "Seventeen years ago I was sitting on a bench in a park when an annoying girl that had been following me for months showed up out of nowhere throwing a bludger in my spectacular plans for the summer." Julia grinned at his sarcastic tone and smirking mouth. "You invited me to stay at your apartment. You knew my situation, and I took you up on you offer most willingly. You fell asleep with your journal in your lap." The smirk eased into the slightest warm smile. "I'd flinched when it fell on the floor, but my surprise quickly turned to dread because you screamed. I'd heard you shout before, at Hogwarts, during your nightmares, but witnessing it is something entirely different." He shook his head and looked away. Julia had gone strangely stiff and her face resembled an Inferi, devoid of color and life.

"I never told you that you screamed my name. You were shaking so violently that I thought you were about to hurt yourself. I'd never seen you cry before." He smiled a little more. "You'd been on the edge of it before but had always held back. You'd been on the edge of opening up about the chaos inside you." He suddenly stood and started pacing as wildly as Julia had moments before. "It's frustrating, Julia, but I know you can open up to me. You did it Christmas Eve when you took me to your home. That night…you let me past the walls you've so skillfully built around you. That's what I ask of you, Julia? Let me into that sanctuary you've created for yourself."

Julia looked into his imploring face, tears swimming precariously in her eyes. Before she could respond, though, Severus continued talking, this time bitterly and with venom.

"When the Dark Lord returned to power about six months ago, Dumbledore sent me back as a spy. I provide the Dark Lord with information that is useful to his purposes but not damaging to the Order. To keep up appearances, I do unspeakable horrors for the Dark Lord and am a leper amongst the Order, which many believe me to be a traitor despite Dumbledore's insistence I am on the Light." He shook his head. "I don't mind that a bit. The less I have to spend with the lot of Gryffindors, the better, but I grow tired of the constant game of being volleyed between two masters." His eyes darkened as he looked out the window.

"What I find the most repulsive is their devotion to Dumbledore. Yes, he offered me asylum at Hogwarts when I switched. Yes, he's kept me from a cell in Azkaban. But, there seems to be a consensus of opinion that he is an altruistic, benign old man. Reality is that he manipulates the people around him to follow his path to domination of the Light. I want the Light to succeed as much as the rest of the Order, but I sometimes wonder why Dumbledore needs to play these mind games." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It sometimes feels like too much."

Julia walked to him and after a moment of hesitation, slid her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his back. "It is too much, Sev. No person should have so much expected of them." She could feel his heart hammering, and her throat clenched in pain and anger.

With a bit of maneuvering, Julia shifted around so she was looking at him but still had her arms around him. He wasn't looking at her, but she could see the conflict in his face. His natural instinct to conceal his true feelings was battling with the desire to let Julia comfort him, as he'd wished for as long as he'd known her.

Sensing his conflict and knowing hers disintegrated the moment he relayed his feelings to her, she whispered, "Sev."

His gaze shifted to her, his penetrating eyes reflecting his anguish.

Through a tight throat, she murmured, "C'mere" as she wrapped her fingers around the back of his neck and guided his head downwards to meet his lips with hers. The silken contours of his lips melded to hers and without hesitation her lips slid apart. She could taste the remnants of Firewhiskey and feel its heat as the rough surface of his prodding tongue wound around hers in an elegant dance of passion.

Their bodies remained glued together even when Julia pulled her lips away and rested her forehead to his. She closed her eyes and spoke, unable to look in his eyes while telling him. "I've always tried to hold it together. I learned a long time ago that bullies will rip you to shreds if you let them see your weakness, so it was safer and easier to shut down." Severus' hands were tracing small circles on her lower back, soothing her rigid torso so she leaned into him. "When I first came to the magical world, I still retained some of my old self, so shutting down wasn't a problem, and then, those seventeen years, I was more or less alone." She shrugged. "But now, I'm back, and I'm different." She smiled. "I'm happy. I have friends. I have Hogwarts." She squeezed the back of his neck tenderly. "I have you."

Julia shook her head gently, a tear leaking from the corner of her closed eyes. "Despite it all, I'm lost and I'm scared. I never thought I could be so happy, but I know from experience that happiness doesn't last. I'm terrified of the fall when all of this comes crashing down around me."

Severus had stopped rubbing her back and tightened his grip around her. "It won't happen. I won't let it."

Julia smiled. "Who ever thought Severus Snape would be an optimist?"

He pulled his head back to press a kiss to her forehead and then tuck her head under his chin. "Whatever happens, I'll be here. You're not alone anymore, and it will take a good deal more than freezing me out to get rid of me. Some of your stubbornness has worn off on me." Even if he wasn't actually doing it, she could hear the smile in his voice.

The moving moment was not to last, for Julia had one more thing to tell him that would break her. Julia sighed, recognizing that she had no choice but to tell him everything. "Severus," she began solemnly, but she had to pause from her tightening throat. She swallowed, loosening the taught muscle so she could speak. "You have to understand…I…when we…" She clenched her jaw and willed herself to pull it together. "Christmas Eve…every time I think about it, I don't see us." The onslaught of tears couldn't be held back anymore as she started to tremble. "Th…that…n…n…night…when I left…"

His arms stiffened. "Good God." His voice shook as he cradled her close to him and rocked gently in a soothing rhythm. "I never…"

Julia's chest heaved as her body was wracked with sobs. "You…couldn't…have…known."

Severus shook his head. "I should have," he whispered heatedly.

Her shaking was overwhelming, and Severus slid to the floor, Julia wrapped in his arms. He continued to rock her in small, calming movements. There was nothing he could say to her to take the pain away, the pain that he had inadvertently caused by his callous and drunken actions. All he could do now was hold together the fragile pieces that were left and hope to the high heavens that she would let him heal the hurt.

"Make me forget, Severus. Please," she cried desperately, her fists clinging to his shirt. "Make me forget."

His arms, already impossibly fixed around her, tightened. Her face lifted to his, eyes bloodshot and pleading, and he captured her swollen lips between his. He would make her forget, even if it was the last thing he did.


	33. Let the Lessons Begin

**Frozen**

**Chapter 31 – Let the Lessons Begin**

The Christmas moon illuminated the wide expanse of open field covered with sparkling snow, but the majesty of the scene was lost on the one looking out of the second story window. His long-fingered, deathly white hand fingered the bone-like wand in his hand, listening to the whimpering behind him without pity.

Lord Voldemort turned away from the window and looked down upon the trembling figure of Avery with contempt. "Have you finished?"

With halting movements, Avery rose to his knees and lifted his face, revealing a swollen lip and eye coupled with a cut eyebrow and cheek. "Yes, My Lord."

"Now that you have regained your memory, share what you have learned, Avery."

With short, gasping breaths, Avery said, "The girl lives in Pennsylvania. She works as an instructor in Muggle fighting, dating her co-instructor. She lives in a small apartment, fourth story, sixth window on the east side of the building. I watched her for a week before confronting her.

"She altered her appearance, but upon revelation, she was unchanged."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed to bright red slits. "Unchanged? Explain."

Avery flinched but continued. "Seventeen years had passed, My Lord, since Dolohov and I attacked her, but she looked the same. She still looked seventeen."

Suddenly, Avery was reliving the confrontation with Julia and seeing her exactly as she was the night of the attack. He saw the charms around the girl melt away to reveal a seventeen-year-old girl where there should have been a thirty-year-old woman. The ripple of shock was replaced by unadulterated fear upon the sight of his enraged master.

A Mudblood! A Mudblood had found a way to retain youth! He would find the girl and find how a Mudblood had found a way he had missed.

Avery's scream of agony echoed through every corner of the house, but only the corpses of the murdered Muggle family were there to hear it.

Jane Rochester sat on her bed in the Hufflepuff dormitory, her university ID staring back at her. The fervent urge to clean out her trunk and organize her things had fizzled out when she'd seen what lay on the bottom. All her belongings now lay in piles around her, but her old jacket, photo ID, and iPod were all she cared about. They had been the only items to travel back to Hogwarts in 1977 with her, but it had been so long that she had forgotten all about them.

In fact, she'd forgotten about a lot of things since coming back to Hogwarts at the start of term. She'd fallen so easily back into life at school that she'd failed to recall what had brought her back in the first place. She'd been so caught up with being reunited with Severus that she'd overlooked the events that were fast approaching that hung dauntingly over her head like a wrecking ball ready to strike.

It wasn't like she hadn't planned. Reality was that she had so many damned plans that she didn't know which one to follow through with, but she figured she'd put as many into the works just to be safe. The timing of it all had crept up on her, and here she was less than six months away from the second most pressing goal of seventeen years and she was completely taken by surprise.

Julia wanted to rage and cry, but she didn't. She was too consumed by guilt. She had no one but herself to blame. She'd procrastinated, and her stupidity may just cost a man his life.

A heavy thud brought her abruptly out of her reverie. She looked around the dormitory to see Eliza and Lucy standing on either side of her bed, looking cross. "What is it?" she asked, tucking her ID under her leg.

Eliza lifted an incredulous brow. "_What is it, _she asks? You're kidding, right? We must have owled you at least a dozen times over holiday and we didn't hear a word!"

Julia looked guiltily stricken. "I'm sorry. Really. I am. I made last minute plans to spend the holiday in…uh…America. I thought it might do me some good to see my old friends. Your letters are probably around here somewhere." She rooted around the giant piles on her bed and surfaced holding a stack of parchment. "See!" She smiled at her friends, hoping they believed her load of rubbish.

Lucy's stern face broke into a grin. "Tell us next time, ok? We were really getting worried. Eliza had half a mind to send a Howler."

Eliza snorted. "You were the one in hysterics. I only mentioned a Howler. You wanted to break into Hogwarts and instigate a two person castle-wide search."

Julia laughed but was deeply touched by their concern. She'd taken their friendship for granted and made a vow that she would be a betterfrom here on out.

An hour later, the threesome was walking to the Great Hall for dinner. Julia kept up a constant stream of questions about their vacations to avoid questions about hers. She was quickly forming a story about her own holiday for when she would have to answer their inquiries.

Julia smiled in delight when they settled at the Hufflepuff table. As much as she loved spending time with Severus, neither of them had the cooking skills to compare with the Hogwarts house elves.

She had just been about to dig in when a Hufflepuff Prefect approached her.

"Are you Jane Rochester?"

Julia nodded, frowning.

"I have a message from Professor Dumbledore." She handed Julia a piece of parchment and walked away.

Julia stared at the parchment. "What the…?" But before she could open it, Lucy grabbed it from her grasp and tore it open.

"Hey!" Julia tried to snatch it back but Lucy kept it just out of reach. "Seriously, Luce. Give it back."

"Calm down. He just wants to meet with you. Says you requested a meeting. Why do you want to see Dumbledore?" She tossed the letter back to Julia.

Julia grabbed it and scanned the contents. Sighing in relief, Julia glared at Lucy. "To have you expelled for invasion of privacy." She folded the letter and tucked it safely in her robes.

Eliza laughed. "I'll help you make a case. I have, on more than one occasion, found her rooting through my things."

"To borrow clothes!" she said, aghast at the accusation.

The three girls looked at one another with serious expressions for a few moments before collapsing into a fit of giggles. A few minutes later, the giggles fizzled out and Julia was left red-faced and breathless.

She sipped from her goblet and looked around at the staff table. Her eyes met with Severus' for a moment before he glanced away. She frowned. Even from a distance she could see the strain of responsibility. Having to teach Potter Occlumency was more stressful than he would let on.

His opinion of the boy notwithstanding, delving into the mind of a boy with whom he was supposed to be sworn enemies and teaching him how to defend himself was not an easy task. It was yet another thing he had to hide from Voldemort. Should Voldemort see Severus aiding Potter, it would undoubtedly spell out perfect doom for Severus.

Julia took comfort from her previous knowledge that Severus would come through the lessons alive if not completely unscathed. An iron-clad hand clamped around her heart whenever she thought about Lily. She recognized that some of what she was feeling was indeed jealousy. In fact, she conceded, most of what she was feeling was the gracious gift of the Green Monster.

She had made her peace with her hatred for Lily. She would never forgive Lily fro dismissing Severus, but Julia had come to accept the burning pit in her belly when it came to Lily.

"Jane? Hello?"

Julia shook her head and looked around to Lucy and Eliza. "Sorry. What's up?"

Eliza smiled. "Now, enough avoiding it. Tell us about Christmas in America."

Julia laughed. "Alright. My old dorm mate mailed me a couple days after break started inviting me to stay for Christmas. I'd initially wanted to refuse but within an hour of receiving the first, I received another letter saying that under no uncertain circumstances would she accept my refusal. I packed my things and flooed to her house…"

The story she'd invented went off without a hitch, and by the time she had to meet with Dumbledore, they had found a more interesting topic of discussion: the prospects on the Quidditch Teams.

She left them at a quarter of eight, rolling her eyes. As much as she liked talking about the opposite sex, discussing their amiability always made her feel like a criminal. After all, she was over seventeen years older than most of them.

With a shake of her head, Julia said, "Tootsie roll." When she walked into Dumbledore's study, she opened by saying, "You really need to find a more noble candy, sir."

Dumbledore smiled. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"I'll get you a list and samples."

"Excellent." He guided her to the chair in front of his desk. "As much as I enjoy discussing sweets, there is a much more pressing matter I wish to talk about with you."

"Now, you have me concerned, sir."

Dumbledore chuckled. "No, no, my dear. It is nothing to be concerned about. I only wish to ask a favor of you. I'm sure you are aware that I have asked Severus to instruct Harry." Julia nodded but did not comment. "I am also sure you are aware of Severus' feelings about the boy." Julia coughed to disguise her snort. Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, he makes little effort to conceal his disdain. For that reason and due to your relationship with Severus, it is my hope that you could attend the lessons."

She frowned. "Attend the lessons? What would that help?"

"Attend in secret, of course. Out of sight. Severus would know, but Harry would not. I think your presence would be a comfort to Severus."

"Is he aware that you're asking me?"

Dumbledore nodded. "It was one of the convincing factors, I think. He only agreed to teach Harry when I suggested having you there."

Julia laughed. "He used to teach me. Did you know?"

He shook his head. "I'd assumed since you're quite proficient, but Severus never mentioned it."

"I'm proficient?"

"Indeed. Your mind has constant walls around your past. I would guess, by your reaction, you don't consciously do it, but your mind, nevertheless, is protected."

Julia's curiosity piqued. "Are there certain types of people who are more adept at Occlumency?"

"Self-aware, my dear. Thoughtful and intelligent. You and Severus fit the bill better than most."

She nodded, biting the inside of her cheek. "What would you have me do?"

"Attend the lessons disillusioned. Be a comfort to Severus. I think you're the only one who could, especially in regards to this."

Her eyes flashed. She nearly boiled over with rage. The manipulative fool was using her love for Severus against her. She nearly refused but paused in her raging. Her mind's eye filled with Severus' strained face, and she sighed, hating herself for letting herself be manipulated. "Fine. I'll be in Severus' office on Monday." She stood up and glared at Dumbledore, who looked at her with raised brows. "Manipulate my love for Severus again, Dumbledore, and I will see that your plans are ruined." A shift in his eyes was the only reaction to her empty threat. She stormed from his office, nearly slamming the door behind her but choosing at the last moment to not give him the satisfaction.

At the bottom of the stairs, with rage still pounding behind her eyes, she did the only thing that came to her mind to relieve the tension; she punched the wall. Not hard enough to do herself serious damage, but enough to bruise the bone and make her eyes water in pain. She cradled her throbbing hand against her chest, breathing deeply. The red she was seeing was dimming in the throb of her hand.

"Looks painful."

Julia gasped, spinning in search of who had spoken. "Who's there?" She searched for her wand mistakenly with her quickly bruising right hand and gasped at the sudden shot of pain.

A moment later, Severus stepped out of the dark corner and strode over to her. He took her hand gently into his without a word and examined the reddening skin. "I have a balm that will help the bruising in my office." He strode off quickly, but she had seen the clench of his jaw in frustration but couldn't fathom why.

She hurried to catch up to his hurried pace, but neither of them spoke until they were barricaded in his office. Before she could say a word, though, Severus was baring down upon her. "Why on earth did you punch a stone wall? Did you expect it to move if you hit it hard enough?"

Julia raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, it was in my way. I know a quicker route to the Hufflepuff dormitory through solid stone."

His eyes narrowed. "Sarcasm has its place in conversation. This is not one of them."

"Says the King of Sarcasm!" she snapped derisively.

Eyes still like black slits, he turned away and strode to the supply cabinet. He returned a moment later, and despite the anger that was still plain on his face, the hands that held hers were gentle. A moment of tense silence later, Severus said in a forced calm tone, "Why did you punch a wall, Julia?"

She tilted her head to watch him closely and smiled. The frustration had been concern. "I was angry."

He glared at her. "I'd assumed as much, but why were you angry?"

Julia shrugged, more concerned with her hand in his. "I don't like to be manipulated."

"How were you…" It took only an instant for him to understand. "Dumbledore? I would have thought you'd be used to it."

"Doesn't make it any more pleasant." A sudden thought occurred to her. "Did you know about the meeting?"

He nodded, rubbing more of the bruise balm on her knuckles. Julia almost sighed in relief and pleasure. "Dumbledore said he'd planned to meet with you, and I saw you receive the note at dinner." Julia restrained a smile. She was secretly glad he watched her because she watched him whenever the chance presented itself.

"Why do you want me there?"

Severus' fingers stopped moving and he stared hard at their touching hands. "Being alone with the boy is not the best of ideas. Knowing you're there would give me second thoughts from hexing him."

Julia brushed a strand of hair that had fallen into his face behind his ear. Severus finally moved his gaze from their hands to her face, and Julia smiled. "Of course I'll be there, but why on earth did you agree? Dumbledore knows your opinion for Harry, and yet he still asks? He's putting you in a rather precarious position, isn't he?"

Severus sighed, closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on hers. "He has his own reasons, which he doesn't care to share with me. As I am in his debt, I do what I am asked, but don't think I didn't try to dissuade him. I firmly believe the boy will be incapable of learning Occlumency."

Julia opened her eyes and leaned her head back. Severus' eyes opened too, looking momentarily disconcerted. "Speaking of Occlumency, how long have I had barriers up? Dumbledore said that I have constant walls around my past, but I never realized it."

Severus hesitated before speaking, which intrigued Julia. She rarely saw him caught off-guard. Finally, he sighed as if in resolve. "At least from our first Occlumency lesson. They were up when I first prodded your mind, but with the slightest pressure they fell away. They're always up and protecting your inner thoughts, though. It's what kept me intrigued at first."

Julia looked incredulous. "You mean it wasn't my stunning personality."

The smile that graced Severus' face for the briefest of moments nearly knocked her over. "Hardly. It's what nearly had me strangling you, but from the very beginning, you had an adeptness for Occlumency that surprised me since you'd had no training before."

"Learn something new every day," Julia murmured, with a frown. Severus watched her thoughtful expression, which was surprisingly hidden. A few moments passed in tense silence. Julia looked up suddenly, shaken from her reverie, and smiled brightly at Severus, catching him slightly off guard. "So what exactly is the plan for Occlumency?"

Severus recovered quickly from the momentary surprise. "You'll be disillusioned in the corner," he said simply.

Julia raised an eyebrow. "So, I am supposed to sit invisible in the corner for several hours every Monday and watch you berate the boy, giving up my precious free time to be a literal wallflower of sorts." Her eyes narrowed but a small smile played around the corners of her mouth. "Is that right, then?"

Severus, who had not quite recognized her teasing tone and smirk, nodded stiffly.

Julia stepped back, crossing her arms, and examining the fingernails on one hand in an airy, uncaring manner. "I see. Well, if I do this, what do I get in return?"

He obviously hadn't been expecting that because his face registered a moment of pure, unsuspecting shock. "Excuse me?"

She struggled to keep her face straight as she tried on her best sultry look, which she suspected was fairly horrendous. "Well," she said, uncrossing her arms and stepping forward, swaying her hips ever so slightly. "I was thinking that, on nights after Occlumency, we could spend some quality time together." She traced a finger up the row of buttons running along the center of his coat. She looked up at him through her eyelashes, and she very nearly broke composure at the stunned, gaping look he was giving her.

"Uh…" He cleared his throat and tried to speak again, but he seemed to be speechless.

"What?" she asked, her eyes batting innocently. "Cat got your tongue? Or, maybe…" Her other hand joined the first, and she traced feather-light fingers down his arms to hover over his statue-still hands. She raised herself up to her tiptoes so her lips were only mere inches from his, and she whispered, "you want this as much as me."

In an instant, her wrists were trapped in a steel grip as Severus pushed her back against the wall. A ragged breath washed over her face, and her mind spontaneously combusted. _So…many…fantasies…coming true…_ With that slightly unnerving thought, Julia broke down into a fit of giggles, eyes watering from held in laughter.

The grip on her wrists slacked, and she looked at Severus, sobering instantly. Beneath the remnants of lingering desire and sudden fury was just a hint of wounded hurt. Julia's eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh, God, Severus. I am so sorry. I was just teasing. I didn't expect…" She took his face in her hands as he tried to look away. "Don't. I'm sorry. Ugh…I didn't think you would react like that." And, she did the only thing she could think of. She kissed him.

He offered no resistance and was soon pressing her against the wall. She nipped his lower lip and pulled away. "Don't be angry, Sev."

One of his long-fingered hands snaked around her neck, pulling her lips to his. "I'm not angry, but you will pay for that trick." His voice was low and ragged, and pay she certainly did.

* * *

The inevitable knock came at exactly six o'clock. The boy was pushing his luck. A little prudence would not have hurt his chances of success. It wasn't that Julia didn't like Potter, but she didn't know him nor did she care too. She was not in any way interested in knowing him either.

Julia settled back in a chair hidden in the shadows of the office, feeling Severus' presence behind her. The tension was as thick as butter, and Julia's heart ached for him. She reached up and squeezed the hand that rested on the back of the chair. "I'm here, Sev."

He didn't say anything, but she hoped he knew that she would support him no matter what.

When Potter entered, Julia could nearly feel the dislike rolling off of him. She sighed and leaned back in the chair. It would be a long night.

She saw Potter's eyes observe the Pensieve on the desk with curiosity. "Close the door behind you, Potter." Severus stepped forward into the dull light of the dungeons. No matter how much she implored, he would not change the lighting.

Julia could not see Severus' face, but if Potter's was any indication, the face she loved so much was etched with deep lines of dislike. "Well, Potter, you know why you are here. The Headmaster has asked me to teach you Occlumency. I can only hope that you prove more adept at it than at Potions."

"Right." Julia tensed at the boy's succinct tone. _Careful boy. _But Severus was – as ever – ready for such behavior.

"This may not be an ordinary class, Potter, but I am still your teacher and you will therefore call me 'sir' or 'professor' at all times." His voice made Julia shiver, but not out of pleasure. She would hate to be on the receiving end of such malevolence. Julia waited with baited breath to hear Potter's response.

"Yes…sir."

She sighed with relief. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

Severus continued. "Now, Occlumency. As I told you back in your dear godfather's kitchen, this branch of magic seals the mind against magical intrusion and influence." Julia repressed a groan. She loved Severus, but he could be as childish and biting as one of his students. Would he never learn? No, probably not, knowing him.

"And why does Professor Dumbledore think I need it, sir?" The question was one of actual curiosity.

"Surely even you could have worked that out by now, Potter? The Dark Lord is highly skilled at Legilimency -"

"What's that? Sir?" _You're pushing it, Potter. He won't tolerate being interrupted._

"It is the ability to extract feelings and memories from another persons mind -"

"He can read minds?" Julia momentarily felt bad for the boy. He looked truly petrified, but his ignorance set off Severus who was her main concern.

"You have no subtlety, Potter. You do not understand fine distinctions. It is one of the shortcomings that makes you such a lamentable potion-maker." _Oh, Severus. Why insult the boy? It only makes the situation worse, and it can't make you feel better since you're in such a foul mood after interacting with the boy._ Then, he spoke and any concern about Potter was wiped cleanly away like the erasing of a slate.

"Only Muggles talk of 'mind-reading'. The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure. Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by any invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter - or at least, most minds are. It is true, however, that those who have mastered Legilimency are able, under certain conditions, to delve into the minds of their victims and to interpret their findings correctly. The Dark Lord, for instance, almost always knows when somebody is lying to him. Only those skilled at Occlumency are able to shut down those feelings and memories that contradict the lie, and so can utter falsehoods in his presence without detection."

"So he could know what we're thinking right now? Sir?" Julia sighed at Potter's tacked on "sir," but considering the naivety of the question, she doubted Severus noticed the attempt at respect.

"The Dark Lord is at a considerable distance and the walls and grounds of Hogwarts are guarded by many ancient spells and charms to ensure the bodily and mental safety of those who dwell within them. Time and space matter in magic, Potter. Eye contact is often essential to Legilimency." And so it continued. Julia tuned out their interaction, although she kept a wise ear to Severus' tone.

She nearly squeaked in alarm when he viciously snapped, "Do not say the Dark Lord's name!" He was rubbing his left arm, and her heart clenched. She wondered how she would undo the stress these lessons caused him, and she was pleasantly distracted for the rest of the lesson with what her imagination conjured. When Potter asked about the Department of Mysteries, Julia was unwillingly reminded of the obstacle that lay before her, and she sobered instantly. When Potter had gone and she had lifted the spell, she was still dazed by the overwhelming panic and guilt that had been summoned. The guilt was overcome with concern when she saw Severus' stormy face.

"Sit," she said, pointing to the chair, but he shook his head. He grasped her wrist and led her to the inner sanctum of his private quarters. There, he collapsed onto the sofa, pressing his fingers to his forehead. She sat beside him, taking his left arm in his hand. "Does it hurt?"

"It aches consistently." Julia paused. Severus had admitted weakness to her, something that his Slytherin pride would never have let him do.

"Does nothing work on it, then?" She knew he would have tried every charm and potion known to him.

He shook his head, and she understood his frustration. He was a brilliant wizard, and it must have been infuriating that he could not figure out this puzzle. "He'll never learn. I don't know what Dumbledore's playing at."

Julia snorted. "It seems to be his aim to torment you."

"He has his reasons though he does not deign to share them with me."

She pressed her fingers into the mark, and he sighed. "Is it helping?"

"Very much. It's the first thing that has helped in ages."

Julia smiled. "Then, sit back, relax, and let me do what I can. This is why I'm here, right?"

He may not have smiled, but he relaxed against the sofa, breathing deeply. Her earlier thoughts of relieving his stress were replaced by new ones of keeping his temper at bay. She continued her ministrations on his arm and moved up his arm to his neck. By that time, his breathing had evened, and she was certain he was asleep. Pulling away slowly, she curled up against the sofa's arm, content that they had made it through the first lesson relatively whole.


End file.
